ARE YOU COMING OUT?

Evening Star, Issue 15706, 21 January 1915, Page 8

ARE YOU COMING O UT?

The- 'Cape Times' gives wmo amusing quotations from the ' Xatal Newsletter,' the unofficial ■organ of H.M.S Nat<i.l. Anions; tho comments and news items arc the following : " Water, water, everywhere, and not a chip to sink. "Press Bureau: Germans in Pari?. Press Bureau (later): Last message should read: 'Germans in planter of Paris.' " The doing of the fleet for the pa.st fortnight are. a prohibited topic, so may not bo discussed. In writing home it is beat to say: 'Dear Belinda, —Very busy this week. See last Thursday's papers.' " The bewilderment of the fleet at the news of the war ashore is represented in an article headed "Poldhu and Norddeutsch." It says : " The daily Press messages are a-s like each other as the Harris sausage and ite German kinsman. The component parts are theoretically similar, but mysteriously different. When Poldhu says the Umpteenth Army Corps got a good-sized dent in the front rank. Norddeutsch tells us that the Tiddley-um-Pom Hussars adde<l another glorious paragraph to ' Willie's War Book.' Both armies capture, the game towns several times weekly. Just like ■Beggar -My Neighbor.' Until everything is over and Conan Doyle has written a book about it we shan't know who has won. P.S. : "No news of the high sea fleet in either." Gentle fun is poked at the provision of comforts for the troops: and in the poetry column there is the following, headed " Welcome, William ": Are you ever coming out, Kaiser Bill ? You'll get an awful clout, Kaisor Bill; It'll stop your wild blaspheming, Your planning and your scheming, For that Empire, you've been dreaming. Kaiser Bill. There's a. nice clear stretch, of ocean. Kaiser Bill; It's a lovely soothing lotion, Kaiser Bill; So, if you're feeling chronic, Corns outside and have a tonic, We'll treat vou awful jonick. Kaiser Bill. It is explained that '' jonick" or " jannock" is a North and West Country adjective which is •usually interpreted in the sense of ''straightforward."