RHYMES FOR THE TIMES.

Evening Star, Issue 14631, 29 July 1911, Page 4

RHYMES FOR THE TIMES.

PROHIBITION: A QUID PRO QUO. Well, let-ns have an all-round Prohibition, Not beer and whisky only spell perdition. Have we not other sins that do beset us— Sweet to our souls as honey of Hymottus? Now, having thus confessed onV often sinning, How to curtail it shall wo make beginning ? Well make a bargain always to be fair, And, like Freemasons, act “upon the square.” Thus beer and whisky, wine, and other fuddle Must henceforth be cast out into the puddle; Tea. too, and coffee must give place to water, For those cause indigestion—bloodless slaughter. Then for the future, smoker—lo acche! Bacchus being killed, we must forgo ’baccy. “Eli! What?” I hear. some rabid smoker cry; “ What, give up smoking ?” and with many a sign. “What, smoke no more? Nay, by the piper we Will give up coffee and—yes, even tea; But to put out our pipes! No, ten times no! If that be Prohibition, lot it go.” Thus Prohibitionists must henceforth be Prohibited from drinking coffee, tea; Must smoko no more—tobacco is. taboo In all its forms, whatever else they do! The “ gentle sex," that drinks from mom till night. Tea, tea, and tea, six times a day, must fight That deadly enemy with utmost skill, And (if they’ve any left) with all their I will, j That is the bargain, that the quid pro j quo; No lame refusal, ladies! Oh, no, no! Well, you agree. But that is not the end, That is by no means all we have to mend. As vegetarians wo demand that you Shall do without beef, pork, and mutton too. The beasts that walk’ or run, or fowls that fly You shall not kill—just lot them live or die; Nor eat the fish that live within the seas, Or in the rivers, where they glide at ease. That is the bargain—that tno quid pro quo— That’s Prohibition. Do not answer “ No.” “What shall we oat, then?” do I hoar you say? Herbs, my dear friend; herbs always, every day. \ Cease then to kill, nor lot they hand again Bear the accusing sign, the crimson stain! Live upon bread and water; eat thy fill Of all the herbs that grow, but do not kill Now, is it thus agreed? Is this enough Prom Cape Maria southward past the Bluff? Then let us seal the compact here and now While the sun shines on this, our latest vow; Wo all agree to give up drinking beer. Wine whisky —all, all alcoholic “cheer”; AJI tea and coffee, and all fish and meat Wo will in future all abstain to cat. Tobacco follows as a thing of course. All pipes put out without the least remorse ; Whatever darling sins we’ve had, you know, Must now be yielded as a quid pro quo. But as all this is for the public weal Such sacrifices we shall never feel! So, here’s to Prohibition, great and small! No drink, no pipe, no nothing—that is all! K ALAMOS. July 24.