SCHOOLBOYS' HOWLERS.

Evening Star, Issue 12258, 27 July 1904, Page 8

SCHOOLBOYS' HOWLERS.

. o Adults obtain a certain amount of amusement from the " howlers" wh'.ch aro committed by schoolboys at their examinations, and there is a, fund of humor in a collection of mistakes which has been made by the " University correspondent," as the result of a. competition, in- which a largo number of teachers took part. Here arc some of the specimens: —History and Grammar.- . The Act of Uniformity prov'.ded that eveiyone must take an oath of passive resistance. King Alfred the Great was a very, good man, and when ho died Lord Rosehery preached his funeral sermon. Iron is grown in largo quantities for manuiacturing purposes in S. France. , The sun never sets on British possessions, because the sun sets in the west, and our cojonies are in the north, south, and east. The diminutive of man is mankind. Question: Define the first person.— Answer: Adam. By the Statute of Mortmain clergymen were not allowed to receive land from people who died without the King's consenior paying a tax. Wvcliffe's great work was the translator. Of the Bible into Middle English, becaun he thought the people would be most likeh to understand the Engiibh spoken in tin Midlands. . Question : Why does true English hlstor begin with the reign of Henry VII. ? A'vwer: Because up to this time it was all lies. —Mathematical and Scientific Genius. - Mathematical and scientific genius is alx revealed in a strong light:— A parallel straight line is one that, whe; produced to me.t itself, does not meet. To remove air from a flask, fill the flasl | with water, tip the water out, and put th coik in quick. The probable cause of earthquakes ma-* j be attributed to bad drainage and neglec of sewage. j Question : Define a circle.—Answer : Take your centre and take your ditance, and draw a straight curved hne. This is a c.rcle, and all lines drawn to it are equal Blood consist* of two sorts of coib crews —red corkscrews and white corkscrews. Question : Define a, point.—Answer: A point is that which has no magnitude, but only length and bieadth ; and there is a point in a circle where all straight lines are equal. The end of the parabola will never meet, though, of course, this could be done by making one small enough. —Some Gems.— Questions on miscellaneous subjects of general knowledge elicited some gems:— A skyscrap r is an over-trimmed hat. Asked to explain what a buttress is, one boy replied "A woman who mukes butter," and another "A female butcher." Teacher's dictation: His choler rose to such a height that passion weilnigh choked him.—Pupil's reproduction: H.s collar rose to such a height that fashion weilnigh choked him. One lad defined primate as "the wife of a Prime Minister." A Job's comforter is a thing vou give babies to soothe them. Political economy is the science that teaches us to get the greatest benefit with the lca«t possible amount of honest labor. An emolument is a soothing medicine. In the United States p.ople are put to death by elocution. '.'Th.; Golden Horn" and "The Golden Flbec}" art the names oF public-houses. Gravity was discovered by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in th'e autumn, when the falling from the trees. , One boy was told to state and prove the relation between the squares on the three s : dcs of a right-angled triangle. He answered thu«: "A square is erected on BC, AC, and BA, and lines drawn to certain extremities of the square formed; then, with the help of the fourteen proposition] the fourth, and a few other propositions of the fir-t book, it is shown that BC2 equals BA2 plus AC2" Having completed the task to his satisfaction, he added : "N.B. STOP URIC ACID TROUBLES J ~ When the first symptoms appear, as they are the forerunners of soul, rheumatism stone, gouty eczema, sciatica, lumbago, and many other troubles. In some instances there is torpidity of the liver, which jives rise to dull pains on the right side of me body; in others there is stiffness in the joints and muscles, tendemes3, enlargement of ihe ■ joints, or gouty or rheumatic pains. When some one or tv/ot of thesa symptoms exist, Turner's Rheumo is an absolute remedy. Sold everywhere, 2s 6d and 4s 6d. Kempthcme, Prosser, and Co., wholesale agents.—{Advt.]

It would have teen far easier to mate the construction and prove th"' rmvo- : * «»■■ i* is dono iu any book of Euclid, but since rou only wish it stated and bhown, 1 have dono mi."