SANDY, THE MISER-PHILANTHROPIST.

Evening Star, Issue 12067, 12 December 1903, Page 11

SANDY, THE MISER-PHIL-ANTHROPIST.

Sandy Macpberson was a typical Scot. He kept the Sabbath Day, and everything else he could lay his hands on! At least so the people said ; and Swidy took a grim delight in listening to the insinuation made concerning his parsimony. Sandy, however, like most pig-headed Scots, had a way of his own, and the opinions of other people- had no more effect upon him than if he had been the Premier of the colony, or a major, or a drainage engineer, or any other suchlike great personage who lives in the upper flats of life, and doesn't care a bawbee for anybody. As it came towards Christmas time Sandj used to go t'bout with a continual grin", •which put you in mind of a man looking at his own picture in the ' Sketcher'—a sort of contented feeling that fame had at length been thiu. c: t upon iiim. tinged with regret at his own lack of beauty!—just that sort of grin, you know. Sandy was a bachelor, and lived in a " but-.m'-ben"' on li:« own section in one of the suburbs. When the girls would have married him he was off it, and when he would have married the girls were off it! So it came to pass that Sandy remained a bachelor. Young men will please make a note of this fact, and improve the shining hour. Don't neglect picnics, tea fights, quiet walks, etc., if you desire to avoid Sandy's fate!

Before Sandy left Scotland he made an attempt at matrimony, but it wasn't a success--. He could manage the whole business till it came to the vital question, then he wished he were Adam, and got nu further. Well, as I Mas saying, Sandy looked forward to Christmas with feelings of delight, for the one form of amusement he indulged in took place then. He used to make out a list of poor people, and send them each a sackful of groceries. They had no more idea than the man in tilt moosi whom they came from, and Sandy, with a sardonic humor, used to enjoy the unflattering criticisms and remarks made un wittingly concerning his stinginess and meanness. His favorite gill was a box of Hondai-Lanka tea, and it was as good as a joke to hear old Jonah Jaup, the grocer, tiying to Induce him to buy blended stup. " Na, na, Jonah : When I gie awa tea I like to gie the best. Nae doot if I wis stllen't I micht like the tea wi' the big profit." "Ah, but," :says Jonah, "the people like_ blended be'st'"' " Nae doot," replies Sandy, " folk no accustomed to roast beef are aye contented wi' -singed sheers' heids an' ingans." "Toots, man," savs Jonah, "the wife aye uses blerded." "Aye" Jcnah. but «he tell't me a different story.'' "Weal, v/eel, ha? ye'r ain wey. Hoo muckle this time?" Then Sandy," with perfect '.rust in Jonah's pledged secrecy, went over bis list till the amount set aside was expended. The last on his list- onht received 4-i'ib of tea; because 51b would exceed his limit, of expenditure. ' Hech! sirs, the Scotch are an awfu' queer thrawn folk—kittle cattle; but they ken guid tea, an 'that's what makes them aye ask for M'Kenzie's Cock o' the North Hondai-Lanka pure Ceylon Tea.—{Advt.J