“CUT, FIT, AND FASHION.”

Evening Star, Issue 10400, 23 August 1897, Page 4

“CUT, FIT, AND FASHION.”

A COMEDY IN COURT. The spectacle of an excited and cdderly Irishman dancing on the floor of the District Court in a pair of trousers capable of fitting a man of only half his size is (says the ‘Argus’), to say the least of it, unusual, yet it was such a sight that delayed the business of the Court for some minutes, while Bench, solicitors, and spectators alike were convulsed with laughter. The gentleman with the abbreviated trousers and the twisted coat was Patrick Sheridan, a pensioner of the police force, and now a commission agent. He had purchased a suit of clothes from. D. Mathias and Co., tailors, Collins street, and, being dissatisfied with it, he was suing them for the return of his deposit.

Entering the witness box in his ordinary attire, the complainant stated that in March last ho visited defendants’ shopj, and was there measured for a suit of clothes, paying 2s 6J deposit. This was accepted, but when he called a few days later to be fitted he was told that a larger deposit would lee required before the work could be proceeded with. “ I didn’t like this humbugging about,” said the witness, “for there was lots of places where they make you clothes while you wait, so to speak ; but I gave them another ten bob.” (Laughter,) Witness continued that he called twice subsequently without success, and on the third visit—on Easter Saturday—he was put off until ten o’clock at night before the garments were delivered to him. “ And a man doesn’t make any money by hanging around town on Saturday rights,” he added reflectively. “By the way,” he suddenly cried, interrupting himself, “I gave them another ten bob before that, just by way of sharpening them up. “Well,” he resumed, “a man always like to have a good suit on on Sundays, and next day I brought out my new clothes. And behold” he paused for elocutionary effect—“ to my astonishment I never saw such a fit in the whole course of my life.—(Laughter.) I wasn’t inclined to sing psalms, 1 assure your Worships, and I came to the conclusion that there was some ‘hanky-panky’ about the whole concern. ‘ For cut, fit, and fashion this establishment defies competition,’” he quoted with fine scorn ; “ that’s what they’ve got up in the shop. And that’s the sort of cut and fit they’ve given me.—(Laughter.) So I got on a tram next day, with my overcoat buttoned up to coyer the clothes, and I ran up to their shop as if there was a policeman after me. ‘Do you call this cub, fit, and fashion ?’ I says to the man at the counter, throwing my legs this way and that.—(Laughter.) Ho said 1 I’ll fix yon up,’ and he starts pulling me about. ‘ Clear out of this,’ says I, and he says ‘You insult me.’ ‘lnsult you,’ says j I. ‘ You haven’t insulted me at all. Y ou’ve committed an outrage on my feelings. ’ And the next day I took the clothes and I asked for my money back. All I could get was ‘ Call again, call again, call again.’ ” (Laughter.)

Mr Learmonth, J.P. ; Are the clothes here? We would like to see them on you. Witness : I’ll put them on with pleasure, your Worship. The complainant made his way to an anteroom with a big brown paper parcel under his arm. After a lapse of a few minutes the door opened, and he reappeared clad in the suit in dispute. His boots he had removed to enable him to put on his trousers, and those garments reached but to the calf of his leg, and failed to meet around the waist. The coat and vest were open and twisted to one side, and altogether the appearance of the witness was ample excuse for the loud and sustained roars of laughter with which he was greeted. Advancing to the open space in front of the Bench, and holding up his trousers with both hands, the complainant executed a pets de sevl in bis stocking feet, to demonstrate to the Bench the unsuitability of his garments for active service. “If this isn’t an outrage on a man’s feelings, I don’t know what is an outrage,” he cried indignantly. “Do you call this ‘ cut, fit, and fashion ? ’ ”—(Laughter.) Continuing his evidence, the complainant said that Mr D. Mathias had promised to call and see him on April 22, and he had stopped at home all day at a loss only to be disappointed.

Mr-Fergie read a letter from Mr Sheridan to Messrs Mathias, in which Tie claimed that the suit appeared to have been made “ for one of the Yankee minstrels who occasionally give Melbourne a bird’s-eye view of Yankeedom and the costumes of the free and independent democracy.” It also mentioned

that the suit was “ like my countryman’s (Irishman) gun —it needs altering look, stock, and barrel.”

To Mr Marshall Lyle, complainant said that the clothes could nob 1)0 altered—they were beyond redemption —but a moment later he admitted having redeemed them from Solomon’s pawnshop,, in Russell street, where he had placed them for safe keeping.” “ What are you?” asked Mr Lyle. “ A commission agent, insurance or political. I tike an interest in all the elections.”

“ Where is your place of ' business ? ” persevered the solicitor. “In my head—the best place,” was the response. Mr D. Mathias said that a new suit would have been made for the complainant only for the fact that he failed to keep the appointment made. It was arranged that witness should visit Mr Shciidan at his house, and ho had spent a whole afternoon in an ineffectual attempt to discover it. Afterwards, when complainant admitted having pawned the goods, he declined to do anything further. Richard Mathias, assistant, said that when he arrived at the shop in the clothes Sheridan was in an awful temper, and abused the cutter in a terrible manner. He would not listen, nor would he allow anybody to examine the suit. The Bench made an order for £1 2s 6d, with £1 3s costs, the clothes to be returned to the tailors.