POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXL, Issue 130, 29 November 1945, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Did you know that the bicycle wa: invented by a Dumfries blacksmitrnamed Kirkpatrick Macmillan? * * * In Lancashire, expectant mothers requiring the services of the Red Cross were instructed to telephone one Mrs Willis Stork. «■ * ■» "So you're also a salesman! "What dc you sell?" "I sell salt. I'm a salt seller." "Shake." * * * "If you don't behave yourself, 51 scolded a worried mother, "I'll cal] a policeman." "If you do," answered the child, "I'll ■tell him we haven't got a wireless licence." «• * * GOING TO FUR! A wealthy young London ivomar who bought a very special hat foi £150 to match her £7000 coat, doesn". think she paid too much. The fabulous hat is a halo beret oi mink and chiffon. "I heard of someone paying £50C for a mink hat," said the woman. ■» * * NO CHANCES. Sicilians kept a careful eye on their daughters. When I called for Maria, whom I'd invited to the U.S.O. dance, I found I was expected to escort her mama and four aunts as well. "What's the idea?" I asked Maria. "Americans are trustworthy," she assured me. "Five chaperons are enough. -FOREIGN SERVICE. * •» * CALM AND COLLECTED. A Scotsman, arrested for being drunk, put forward an unusual excuse. "I wasna' drunk," he said to the Magistrate. "It was just I found myself outside a kirk, and, knowin' ma unworthiness to gang inside. I knelt down on the steps." "I see," said the Magistrate. "You were holding a little service on your own. Well, we will now take up the collection. Pay seven-and-sixpence." *.■ # * "WAS NAZI HOAX." The former Austrian Chancellor, Dr. Schuschnigg, who may appear as a witness at the Nuremberg war crimes trial, declared that the Munich beer garden explosion, which was reported six years ago to have "blown the pants off Hitler," was a Nazi hoax to whip up public opinion against Britain. He recalled that the Nazis accused the British secret service of placing a bomb under Hitler's table at the Nazi Old Comrades' gathering in Munich. A German carpenter was arrested, said Dr. Schuschnigg, and was later ordered by Hitler to be liquidated. He was shot, but his name was included in the list of victims of the R.A.F. raid on Munich. ■» * « NO FOOT-SLOGGERS. A private soldier in the British regular army will, in future, be paid seven shillings per day, according to the "Daily Herald" military correspondent. It is believed the War Office decided upon the new scales of pay for peacetime soldiers on the basis of equality with the basic pay of the R.A.F. and The average rate, exclusive of family allowances for a private, will be 50s per week; for a sergeant, 745. Tradesman's pay will be additional, but the present complicated allowances will be greatly simplified. It is recalled that a soldier's pay was originally based on the wage of the lowest-grade farm labourer, but _ the modern infantryman is now a skilled technician, and no mere foot-slogger. The present basic pay for a private is 3s per day. * * * "VERY FINE FELLOWS." "As a matter of fact we are very fine fellows," declared the Dominions Secretary (Lord Addison), deploring British modesty in a speech to delegates to the Empire Chambers of Commerce conference. "The British case has not been put over as it ought to have been, due to our insular modesty and reserve,' he said. , , "Both in the Dominions and elsewhere' in the world there is great room for improvement in the presentation of the British case, all we stand for-, and all we can do." , Instancing the British development of radar, penicillin, the "Mulberry harbour, the "Pluto" undersea pipeline, and other evidences of the immense labour and great inventiveness of British scientists and engineers during the war, Lord Addison added—"We should advertise these qualities—of course, without bragging." * *- * PROMOTIONARY. There's poor old "Private" Enterprise He's never had promotion. We've always kept him in the ranks— A very foolish notion! He'd help to cancel out our "woes," And to reduce our "sighs," _ If we would put him on. the job— As "General" Enterprise!^^^ * -::- . * BOYS ADOPTED. "Big Wins?s" and "Little Wings" are the names given to two boys, aged U and 8, who have been adopted by men of the R.A.F. station in Kowloon. The boys' English father was killed by the Japanese. Their Chinese mother, who was brought almost to coolie level by trie Japanese, is now very. ill. She took her sons to the air station. . "We have taken them on our omciai strength for rations, and intend to look after their education and future, said the station commander, wing Commander H. P. Connolly, D.F.C. and Bar, A.F.M. , ~. The children go home every night after dinner and return to the station at 7.15 each morning. . RA.F. Sergeant Dawber gives them daily lessons in English—reading, writing, and arithmetic. "This will be a permanent ti.A.v. station, even though the J personnel may change, and we intend to bung up these two children," said Wing Commander Connolly. Eventually he believes they may join the R.A.F. ~, • Both boys wear Japanese white uniforms, cut down, and "Big Wings has a white pith helmet and Army web gaiters. # „. BEHIND THESE NAMES. Apropos recent notes on .unusual surnames and their history, it.is interesting to note that many ™°lds "1 daily use were once local names. But as time has changed or modifiedLtheir form, we seldom recognise them as such. In some cases, of couise, they have suffered from contractions. This perhaps is the principal reason, for as Home Took once said, "Letters like soldiers, are very apt to desert and drop off in a long march." More likely, it seems! For instance, we have almost ceased to speak of Swede tuinips, Rilestone pippins and Savoy cabbages but call them Swedes, .Kilestones, and Savoys—when we can get peach Uhe fruit, I mean) comes from Persia, its original name; the nectarine, from the same area, the name being a Persian word meaning "the best kind of peach." From the Mexican province of Choco we get chocolate: lemon, in Portuguese, limoo, is from Lima; candy is. from Candxa, kand being the Turkish word _ for sugar The spaniel is from Hispamola, a Spanish dog. From Cambray we have cambric; bonnets , are said to come from the Irish village of that people of the past, including admirals, have all-given us names. The word grog, for instance, originated from the name given to Admiral Vernon because he wore a grogram coat. Among the sailors he was known as "Old Grog." This name was later transferred to the mixture of rum and water which Vernon was the first to introduce into the Navy. Whisky is a corruption of the Celtic word uisqe, meaning water. Which today is perhaps the most appropriate of them all!