POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXL, Issue 64, 13 September 1945, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE i -When-the/liner Queen Elizabeth first met the battleship Queen Elizabeth in mid-ocean, the captain of the battle* ship signalled "Snap." *.* . ♦ When Butterfly warbled her "Un Bel Di," The Nipponese lass could hardly forsea That instead of Pinkerton, smiling and gay, Mac Arthur would land in Tokio Bay. BLOTTO. * # * A good man doubles the length o| his life, for to be able to enjoy _in memory one's past life is to live twice. —Martial. « * «■ TREATMENT OF NIPS. The British in Singapore appear to be saying to the Nips, "I beg your pardon," while the Americans in Tokio are saying, "Please," and the Aussies are feeding them up on, chicken! ERNEST. « # « BANDIT GANG. A bandit chief, with 200 wild mountain men, armed with muzzle-loaders marked "London, 1855," has been terrorising Mindanao Island, in the Philippines, south of Davao City, with an orgy of robbery, rape, and murder, but its members have now surrendered to the United States forces. Honouring the commander of the American punitory force, the Mahomedan headman presented him with one of the rifles and with a curved kns, with superb silver craftsmanship on. •the handle. As a return present to the headman, the American officer surrendered his underwear. ~* ' * * NEW TWIST. There are innumerable stories about the traps English pronunciation sets for those who haven't grown up with it. But Captain Gammans, M.P., manages to get a new twist in an anecdote he told at a recent lunch. Eisenhower and Montgomery were discussing what may be called British English and American English. "I guess there's nothing wrong with, our English," said Eisenhower. "Nonsense!" said Monty. "Can you tell me, Ike, what excuse there can be for calling schedule "skedule ? _ "Well," replied the Commander-in-Chief, "that was the way I was taught to say it at shool." « # * "RATION TIP." Now that the tide of war is spent, And Peace turns her gentle gaze, On us poor mortals here below, . It's time to make a blaze with petrol cards and ration books; , That on our lives cast such a blight. So let's hie them to the nearest up And set them all alight! Then, as the rationed incense Winds its smoky way above, May we truly celebrate The coming of the Dove.^ * # * MORE CRAZY NAMES. Here are some additions to the curious names you have been featuring in your column. The clipping is from an American publication. It reads:— Among the names found on birtn. certificates filed with the Georgia (USA Department of Public Health, are sue!, tributes to Mother Nature as Pink Sunset, Sea Bright Sea, Pleasant Moon, Sunnie Shine, Icie Rivers. And one finds money, the so-called root of all evil, personified m Good Price, Brag Boss Nickel, Money Killing, Payed Cash, Honest Price, Major S"les "states and countries were not overlooked when the following new citizens were named: Georgia Possum, Joyful Nations, Asia Minor, America Music, Georgia Farmer, China Rice, Whosa Cracker, Utah and Arizona Reynolds (twins), Georgia Flagg. A note of advice or prophecy is found in these: Future Bettersome, Trouble White, Wash Saturday, Patience Mules, Wash Farr , 'Buster Good, Be Careful McGee, So Reander for pure description, these names would be difficult to better: Perty Smart, Love Session, Pleasant Feelings, Lady Servant, Wash Fountain, Rather Bigg, Aborn Sargent, Late Night Mann, Extra White (coloured)., Handy Best, Spanish Dentist, Friday Knight, Fuller Booze; Hansome Mann, Virginia Ham, America Shoemaker. This State has a large coloured population, which probably explains much of the above originality in nomenclature' _______ E.e.A.