POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXL, Issue 55, 3 September 1945, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Did you know that 43 Popes lived and died while St. Peter's, Rome, was being built? ' ■* # «• Most horseflesh sold in South Australia is used as bait for fishing-. One fishing tackle shop sells 3001b a week. * * * "Unless the- problem of unemployment can be solved, America will become a second-rate Power, or at least not the leading Power."—Professor C. R. Miller, Columbia University. * * * LISTEN! The bore was boasting of his family* patriotism. "I'm joining the RA.F. next week," he stated. "My father fought in the last war, and my grandfather fought in the Boer War. My great-grand-father. I've been told,- fought in the Zulu War." "Really!" drawled a listener. "On which side?" * * ' * AT THE KILL. The junior partner sat at the bedside of his dying boss and heard him murmur feebly: "I've a confession to make. Ten years ago I robbed the firm of £50,000 by selling the blueprints of your invention to a rival firm." "Don't worry," said the junior partner: "I poisoned you!" * * # TRIESTE LIKED THEM. A soldier who was with the Bth. Army in Trieste writing to his parents in Wellington enclosed the following quotation anent the New Zealanders from the Trieste "II Piccolo": —". . . Then we made the acquaintance of these strong and handsome boys, coming from a far-away country but nevertheless very much resembling ours as far as climate' and countryside are concerned; cordial, simple, open-minded, and possessing ample and straight ideas, they have been our liberators and our most welcomed guests. And now that they-are leaving us, we greet them with our wishes that they may return soon to their great islands." * * * ADVERTISEMENT. "Lost on Saturday afternoon, missed at Nuhaka, Sydney Silky dog. Has sharp bark . . . answers to name of 'Baker.' Handsome reward on returning same to Barker's, pastrycooks, —-— Road."—Advertisement in provincial daily. When Barker the baker lost Baker the barker, His soul in sharp anguish was rent. A lover of dogs was this baker named Barker— . . This Barker whose barker was missed at Nuhaka — So an ad. to the paper he sent. 9. And offered reward that was handsome and princely To anyone finding the same:— This Silky named Baker, the pet of the baker Named Barker (don't slip—the barker was Baker). And the poet says, "What's in a - nam6?" W.D.C. Wadestown. * * * STRANGE NAMES. Dear Percy Flage,—This "Strange Names" business! Wfien I was about 10 or maybe younger we moved to a new district. I was sent to town on a message and on my way home I met a man who gave me another message to take to my fattier. I duly arrived home and related what had happened but could not for the life of me remember the names of the two men mentioned in the "return" message. I said one was something about a man "with bandy legs" and the other was either a "laughing penny" or something "funny about a penny." My mother guessed my "bandy man"—Cruickshanks, but they were beaten on the "funny penny' — that was Ticklepenny. In the same town we had a Merryweather and a Middlehook and a Westbrook. My own name caused amusement at college where I was translated into "Man of the Mountains." ~ At Ohaupo there used to be three cottages standing by themselves in a group inhabited by families named Fever, Black, Death, in that order. In the Hampshire village where I was born two adjoining cottages had Death and Coffin for neighbours, while opposite lived the Newlands. We once had neighbours named Milton who hailed from the same district as the poet. To my too insistent questions and conjectures to my playmates' denials of relationship to the famous, the reason came forth, "We aren't related to him. I know because Grandpa changed his name and his name was Shirt." I don't blame him! Here's luck and all the very best.—Sincerely yours, MR. BENGEMANN.