POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXIX, Issue 128, 1 June 1945, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY FLAGB It is said that Japan provides .the largest variety of crab in the world, but today she must be very crabby.' * # * A visitor to Wellington asked me: "What is the prevailing wind here?" I replied: "A head wind." * * * Last year has proved the healthiest of the war in Britain, returns showing that there were 5000 feAver deaths and 29,123 more births, 4500 fewer cases of diphtheria than in the previous year. I * * # LISTEN! Dear Percy Flage,—Overheard at tha Park on Saturday:— "Sit down, you cads!" The same voice, two minutes later: "Will' the GENTLEMEN in front kindly sit down!" ÜBIQUE. «■ * * TE PUB.' Hi ya, Hori! Howdee, Wir-i! Well, Wiri, how you like te wictory stunt? Oh I link he OK—You get te glad feeling on Vee Day, Hori? Only up to a point, Wiri. Igoto te pub all flash in te red Avhite and plew tie, but there hundreds of coves lined up for te Vee Waipiro. It te hard work to get te foot on te rail, and then it not easy to get te drink. What worry me most is te size of te drink. Tey charge me te sevenpence for te thimblefull that Avouldn't wet te lips. Tey make te. glass smaller, tey put te price up, and tey make te peer Aveaker —what I call a three-point steal. Next election I vote for te man who say: "We will fight for te return of te pint potand less Avai in te piro." Hooray Wiri! Hooray Hori! Yours — H.C.L. * * # "MY EARLY LIFE." Dear Sir, —In tonight's Postscripts^ Avhich I read regularly, "Old Joe asks if Winston Churchill Avas captured during the Boer War. The ansAver is not quite as presented, according to Churchill's own book, "My Early Life," page 267. Jn it he says he Avas captured by General Botha himself, Avhen helping to remove a derailed truck in front of an armoured train. The soldiers, amongst whom Avas Captain Haldane, may have been captured by Staff-Sergeant Peters, but the book does not say so. In trying to escape from r tAA?o Boers who were firing at him, Churchill ran the other way, and was held by up Botha. The book should be in the Public Library in Wellington. I happen to be reading a copy from our Public Library in Palmerston North. The best of luck, and thanks for some interesting reading. Kind regards, A. C. ASHFORD. „ • # * HON. ADVERSARY. An American Senator has referred to the Japs as little yellow balls o_ fat.—Ncavs item. Illustrious Ball of YelloAV Fat, Elevated. Acrobat; Next upon unworthy list, Pray absolve ignoble fist Smiting most exalted eye: Hara-kiri; Banzai; Pardon humble, abject feet Kicking most distinguished seat; Half the world's a funeral pyre, Peerless fat is in the fire; How shall we admit lion, peace To a spot of dishon. grease? «- * * 83-YEAR-OLD. In 68 years' continuous service as a core-maker in a foundry, Mr. EdAvard Cooper, of Talbot Avenue, Balwyn (Melbourne), who will be 83 in September, has not been late for work once. Mr. Cooper, who said that he had "never thought of retiring," has been employed on priority defence work this year, and today he was back at his bench at the foundry of T. Mayne and Son, Richmond, voluntarily doing overtime. "He is as good as any of us; in fact, he is nearly always ahead of us with his work," said one of Mr. Cooper's workmates. Mr. Cooper is noted for his memory, and can give accurate details of jobs done in the shops 20 years -ago. "We can set the clock, .by Mr. Cooper," said the foreman:- "He trams in from Bahvyn every day, and is at his Avork at 7.10 each morning." Mr. Cooper usually AA^orks overtime every week, and last year missed only three days through illness.