POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXVIII, Issue 135, 5 December 1944, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Bill's small "pome": ■ We want more beer An' better beer here; .• ; ■ ■& « ■■■ "*'.~-' 650,000 to 1 are .the odds against a i royal flush being dealt at poker, according to a witness in a recent London court case. Himmler urges 'the 16 to 18-year-old Germans now being sent to the front to ' marry" before leaving in ortier to provide the soldiers of the next generation. :; , * * * "Dad," said the small boy, "what is a diplomat?" "A diplomat," replied the indulgent parent, "is a husband who can convince his wife that she wants an umbrella when she thinks she wants a fur coat. : * " " # '. ,# - STICKY. ,-^ n A"^ ric,an soldier went into, a shop £jHBm?» sand and asked> "Have y°?' "Plenty. How much do you want'" was the reply. * warn. soldier^ 6 aU y °uVe got>" the The shopkeeper then produced a dozen bottles of office gum ; LOOT IN WOODEN LEG. Dublin police couldn't find where VS ed& stolefrora an office safl Mehir was sent for trial. > : FRIENDLY MICROBE. '' An alkaline microbe which kills ■ nearly all other kinds of germs in the human body was discovered to state beer by a Russian in 1915, and^amed bacillus.alkaligenes because it aSal lsf? hying tissues. For years it was believed poisonous, but tests on animal proved otherwise. Recently its effect '£X SS,*6B^ °n 100° humanT H nas cured colds, is a promising preventive of tooth decay; it brin^relief in chrome smus infections and asthma ' surged 3n effectPe antiseptic in • MORE '"OLD UNS." Jack Thompson, the one-legged' Scot whose wee (tobacco, etc.) shop on the Queen's Wharf overhung the water near the shore end. He also made good SShnriP Wi? lg tipSy- ? ailors out .Si SvSse'S 1'5 SWaiting th6ir Crew t0 '*■" Smith a tall -bent man who shuffled along holding his small saletray breast high and was inordinately proud of the "28 bereavements!? Ms lamiiy. t Was Bill's" Squatter :■ Jones Mokau Jones? For years he' was to litigation and petitioning ParliaSSS, H° Ut a *Uge, estate at the-Mokau which he claimed was his own but ; failed to succeed in obtaining ♦ »AD- H- . CHRISTMAS FAIRIES. ■ Twenty children dancing Dancing round a tree, • Now again .it's Christmas Five years old I'd be. One's V tinsel fairy, One would be an elf, One just does not play at all He wants to be himself. ?l V % ye3rs old at Christmas, . That s the age I'd be, Uimbing over gates and.hills Happy, young; and free. , Tapes are tied to blankets, Fastened to the bars,- ■ - One little curly head's asleep, To dream of happy hours Lower Hutt. M" CU™ING) * * * LISTEN. ' When the Rev. E. B; P. Dixckworili : officiating at a wedding in th^ garrison chapel at Kasr el Nil barfacks fg^' asked "Who giveth this SS Mrs s naiß^ d lV hi S °»n?"'SubalteS. iuis. b. Bate, of Parliament Street Lonaon, answered, "I do " ocreet» The occasion was the marriage of Lance-Corporal Kathleen PaMcia SS° f T S-utton Court bndge tp Lieutenant Reginald Gordon Clarke, of Stoney Grey Rvton on-Dunsmore, near Coventry, 'ffi ' never before seen a girl give a m>l; ■ *■* . ■ * DEVIL'S NEW TAIL' Writes W r Knowles-— n ws.Ve^ s ago an artist was emnewed heaven, adjusted twS stars, and cleaned the moon, fee £1 16s; revived devn e H °f hel]' § ut a new ** °n thi f i ! fR e a? 2 me? ded his -left hoof, fee S S r-,>f o ;oS Ut/ arrings in the ear of .« fpj 17 L 2d; dt comted No^'s Ark, § ci- 7s, 6d.: tended the shirt of the Prodigal Son and cleaned his ears fee 15s 3d; washed the servant of the High priest and put carmine on his cheek, • fee Is; corrected the Ten Commandments, fee £1 10s. The artist, it appears, was refused payment in a lump sum, and the above items show how he had to submit his bill. * « * FLOORED EXAMINERS. An old Oxford man was telling a "• story ot that great scholar, Dr. Arthur Keith, whose death has occurred at Edinburgh, where he was Regius Professor of Sanskrit. Dr. Keith—who afterwards passed first in to the Civil Service—carried everything before mm, and was at one and the same time tne despair and admiration of the examiners. These found the ■greatest difficulty in deciphering his handwriting, and then an equal difficulty in not giving him the highest possible marks. After his. Greats papers had all received an alpha-plus, the examiners decided to get a little of their own back- by giving him a gruelling • lva-\, * The young. Keith, however, is said to have answered their questions in such broad1 Scots that the examiners could not understand his replies. * * * HIS UNCLE. When Sapper Irving Podrid, United btates army, came to Glasgow, he did not know anyone, then he found four aunts, four uncles, and more than 12 cousins First of all Sapper Podrid & et + Glas§o^ Jewish Institute's president, Mr. George Spilg, The visitor . AmnJri ned f that^ iS m°ther w«*£ America from Byelostok, Poland •40 yW aS°-..Mr. Spilg said that 'his itni S l l f nily.also came from Byelostok. They found the women were sisters. Mr. Spilg took Sapper Podrid Otw *™ i!l troducf d him to-his aunt UUier members of the family were Se° r?or d'th and fi thf AmerS Si S^S 6 first-time another aunt, Mis. Hertzberg, and two uncles, Messrs ■ ?h m£ n nand L-ewis Co^en» as well a Host of cousins. OBVIOUS EXAMPLES. vJF3OOI^ d allied trades have been - lesponsible for many of the surnames m common use today/Taylor, Clothier, Fuller, and Trimmer are obvious examples. The Anglo-Saxon for "cutter was Schepper, from which are derived Sheppard, Shepherd, etc. The names of Poynter, Poynting,. or Pontmg, says "The Tailor and Cutter," are descended from one who fashioned points," which were a feature of smart" - garments a couple of hundred years or more ago> In the time of James I, a • maker of low-grade cloth was a "Bur- ' rellor." From that quaint term originated the surnames Borrell, Burril, and " Brrrell. The shipper of cloth was a 'Brewker," and his descendants are the Brooks. The man who hawked clotl> around the countryside" was a '"Chapman," and, it-is^said, if he went ' far afield, he was known as Mr. Faraday; both are common family names' [nowadays. " :