POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXVIII, Issue 84, 6 October 1944, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and} Comrrienl

:f£Y PERCY FLAGE

Pocket radio sets, six inches: high and two inches thick, will be available —after the war. Valves will "be the size of peanuts. * *■■■■■■■ * Husband (in court): "Whenever I come home on leave my wife does all she can for me, but there is a look in her eyes which seems to say, 'You. wait till the war is over.'" * « •■ * "I see the historians claim that women were using cosmetics during the Middle Ages." ■ "What about it? Women in the | middle ages are still doing • it." •«- * ■» DISCONTENT. • Counterfeit German food and cloth* ing ration cards dropped by Allied aircraft over Germany have proved an. . outstandingly successful weapon of economic warfare; serious discontent and riots have been caused in . many parts of the Reich. ■' •» ' ■ :*■ ■;■' *--•" ~. MURDER WILL OUT. ■ A Maori attending a small town church was deceiving the. minister that he te very good feller. He did not smoke, drink, or swear. One day the reverend met him running at top speed in the direction of the local boozery and called out: "What's the hurry, Hori?" "Py korry, I leave my plurry pipe in te pub." ■ -ERIN-GO-BRAGH. .■ • . « . * '. . *. '. ' v; . > AND THEN— Dear Hit,—l've just informed, the Japs That 'a that's left o' ye is scraps. I dinna like the funny chaps— They've been sac cocky. They backed a horse they cad "Perhaps"— ■ * ■ ■■■.'■■• Wi' ye as jockey! Like puntin' fools they said—"Funds ■*,■ Up" -, • ■ •-, . .-,,:; \■: .'■ .- On "Sure" in the Pacific Cup. Nod that they see ye've lost yer grup, Their knees are knockin', , They ken that they've been sold S pup— k . It's shockin—shockin! Ye're a' gone stracht tae Helmahoother. I ken by lookin' owre my shouther. When Peter cries—"Whaurs. Shickeli — ' Say—"Here's the Hun"— He'll smother ye in brimstana poother— And then—HOOTS MONt CROWBAR^ ■* . ■ * . ■■; ♦ ■' ; \ POSTIES AND POLICE. ; •- Revival after a-recess of four years the cops are optimistic enough to^engage the knights of letters arid telegrams (special and otherwise): Please, Mr. Prime Minister, don't ask for extra special deliveries tomorrow (Saturday), October 7, as we are to engage in deep combat with the law and order merchants, tossing the Rugbyball at Athletic Park from 2.45 p.m. Bags, whistles, batons, and irons -will be barred. A special mobile massage unit has been engaged. I regret the personnel of the teams is still shrouded in mystery. You may find them in another part of this isuse. • Neither do I know-the whistle carrier.for the big event, nor can I tell who will be official flag wavers. The*joint secretaries guarantee two full teams plus the necessary reserves. Several very worthy charitable organisations will split the takings," so be there.: Rumour denied: The Police Pipe Band will not render that ever-popu-lar tune "Back the Attack:" Just out for this occasion, HOWITZER.