POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXVII, Issue 5, 8 January 1944, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Samurai sword is very fatal illness' to Japanese generals who do not win. * * * G. Bernard Shaw: I purr when I am kindly stroked, like any other lion. * * * The reason why a dog is such a£ lovable creature is that his tail wags instead of his tongue. * * * Tokio radio: "The Japanese internees involved in recent disturbances at Tulelake (U.S.A.) are living up to the true spirit of the Japanese." * * * Chiropodist to birds is the occupation of Mrs. G. Weeland, of Philadelphia. In 25 years she has had over 1500 customers. *♦. ■ ♦ Saddlery, a vanishing trade, is reviving in England with.the return of the horse, and the demand for harness is one of the reasons for Xhf shortage of shoe-leather. * * # GUESSING. Asked how long the war will last, the presidents of 100 of America's largest banks unanimously replied: "Germany will be beaten by the autumn of 1944; Japan will last six months to three years longer." * * * RACKETY. Here is an American story: Two "tough-guy" cats were watching a game of tennis. "Aw, come on," said one, "I'm sick of watching this." "Naw," said the other, "I'm interested." "Why?" "Well, my old man's in that racket!^ * * ♦ ON THE WAY. Bucharest is urging Berlin to withdraw German and satellite divisions to the River Bug, to make a stronger defence against the Russians and keep them away from Rumania. The Rumanians do not haye to urge it. The Russians are 45 miles away and going strong. They will move the Germans and their satellites to the Bug. * * * INFORMATION. "What is the ideal prayer for a soldier going into battle?" asks "My Soldier Boy." There is no final answer, but the. 300----year-old prayer of Sir Jacob Astley, Charles I's Major-General of Foot, before the Battle of Edgehill, seems just as appropriate to the warfare of today as to that of its author's own century. Here it is: "O Lord, Thou knowest how busy I shall be this day. If I forget Thee, do not Thou forget me." This question was answered in Column 8 about two years ago. * * * ANOTHER GARDENER'S MOAN. Dear Percy Flage, I'm in a rage, I'm feeling savage! White butterfly and diamond moth Devour my cabbage. Now, I'd forgive the pesky brood, i I wouldn't even grudge their food If on the outer leaves they'd start, But Shylock-like they crave the heartf Best wishes for the New Year to you and yours, AMAC, 50. On this occasion we would havr liked "sabbage" for a change. * * * THRILLER. Heroism today is so usual in England that, beyond the thought, "That's fine," individual cases make only part of the general impression; but in connection with Manchester's biggest raid I heard a story that thrilled me, writes J. Handle. A mother had left her baby and a boy of seven in bed upstairs while she went down to make a cup of tea. Then the corner of the house above where the children lay was struck. Terrified by the crash of falling masonry, she rushed up. Under the debris on the bed lay the children, the small boy across his sister. He called reassuringly. "It's all right, mum! Baby isn't hurt; I'm lying on her!" I heard this tale from a neighbour of the children. She was sitting beside me in a bus. * #' * "DAT MOTION." It was the weekly meeting of the coloured "Sons of I Will Arise Society." At the end of the usual business a loud voice yelled from the back of the hall: "Mistah Chayman, Ah makes a motion dat Sam Jackson am a low-down, sneaking, mis'rable crickenthief." Down in the front a little fellow leaped to'his feet. "Who makes dat motion dat Ah'm a low-down, sneaking, mis'rabe chickenthief?" he cried, glaring round the room. A huge, scar-faced negro jumped up. "Ah makes dat motion," he said, menacingly. "Mister Chayman," said Sam quickly, "Ah seconds dat motion." * - * * DREAM-HOUSE. Do you forget the house we made together? Such shining walls it had! But they were only built for limpid weather, And hours of making-glad. Built with lazy, lovely, languid summer. Built with starlight and the singing bird And the voice of the drowsy bee, the late-comer, And the still air unstirred. Now the autumn flushes copse and hollow; Frost is on the boughs; Farther are you gone than I can follow; Lonely is the house. Narrow seem its crystal walls past telling, Close the rafters press about my head — While you inherit the round world for dwelling And the broad earth for bed. —AUDREY A. BROWN. * * # WALKING ZOO. "Man," says an encyclopaedia, "is distinguished from other animals by his brain and his hands." But there the difference ends, because: He is—• lion-hearted, chicken-livered, pigeontoed, treacherous as a snake, sly as a fox, busy as a bee, slippery as an eel, industrious as an ant, blind as a bat, faithful as a dog, gentle as a lamb, drunk as an owl, still as a mouse, stubborn as a mule, strong as an ox, vain as a peacock, happy as a lark, slow as a tortoise, crazy as a loon, cool. as a cucumber, fresh as a daisy, a worm, a rat, easily cowed, and led like a sheep. He has —the memory of an elephant, arms of an ape, eyes of a hawk, neck of a bull, a whale of an appetite, raven hair. He—roars like a lion, coos like a dove, hops like a sparrow, works like a horse, runs v like a deer, drinks like a fish, swims like a duck, sticks his head in the sand like an ostrich, acts like a dog in a manger, plays possum, wolfs his food, struts like a rooster, and chatters like a magpie' ■» «■ * DEFIED SNIPERS. In the jungles of the Far East there is a front-line Australian padre known to the troops as "Happy Hartley." Throughout the New Guinea campaigns of Buna, Gona, and Sananander, the slight, bright-eyed figure of Padre Frank J. Hartley, a 34-year-old Methodist chaplain from Orbost, Victoria, kept bobbing up among the frontline troops with letters from home and pockets full of comforts. He spent six months with the A.I.F. unit of Captain A. H. McCulloch, who said recently: "I have seen many gallant men, but none more gallant than Chaplain Hartley. He deserves the V.C." When Captain McCulloch reminded the padre that there were snipers about he replied: "Now you come to mention it, I think I was sniped at two or three (■ times on the way up. I thought if I " was to be killed. I would rather be walking along than.tying .on my face . in the mud." While with the unit he tended wounded men and went out many times himself to carry them in*