POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXIV, Issue 40, 15 August 1942, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

Some men are always beating about the bush. Others, of course, have no time for- golf. • Another sabotage wave is sweeping^ France. But wait until she gets going with a real big broomstick.':' ; * *■.-* . General Motors research chief: ". . . we will win in the fall Of 1944." Hitler's fall, we presume. * # *. ■"'■-. That Fascist purge is described as "a revision of membership." "Division" is obviously the better word. * * * "Artemus Ward" again: "I prefer temperance hotels—although they sell worse liquor than any other kind of hotels." ... . ■ *•" # * R. Tai: Cabled that the Emperor of : Japan has "lost his face." Well, now he will starve—even on the scrumptious Japanese Diet—unless thes ' .doctors keep him alive by "interjec- ■ .tions," * * * ' SWORD AND BOMB, "Socialdemokraten," Stockholm: • "War spans the glbbe, and the devastating forces of war threaten civilisa-' ,- tion and all that is good in mankind. » But the only reply to the sword is the ' sword, and to the bomb the bomb. No one can blame the Americans if they strike back after being hit, and strike ; harder." ' « * * ZONING. L Our Bellerive makes protest. 11l in bed I lay tossing, ; Worried about the family washing. ', Helpers are scare, I am full of fears, I have not washed for twenty years. • This zoning is a bitter pill, When far from trams and up a hill. . They kindly will collect in town, - But how on earth can I get it down? MILMAY. ■X- • » '* • SECOND FRONT. Heard on short-wave, Moscow, 12.10 ' a.m., August 12, New Zealand time: i "A joke is going the rounds in Mos- ' cow. This is it: There are two ways of v opening a second front in Europe, . one natural, the other supernatural, „ The natural way would be for 150,000 ! archangels to invade Europe, the supernatural way would be for the British. ■ and Americans to do it." L.S. . * « -XCOURT TOPICS. These notes come from "Newsreel" . (Seatoun), formerly of England. k Speaking of watered milk.. a dairy- . man, charged at the South-Western ; Police Court (London), with this ofs fence, declared that the water dropped \ in the milk from the inspector's uml brella while he was taking samples. The Magistrate smiled, but inflicted a . '' fine of ten shillings. . . 1 At East Ham a man was in Court [ because he had used a van without his " name and address On it. "I plead an, \ act of God," he said. "I had painted 3 my name on the van, but it was wash- • ed off in a great thunderstorm.". The most extraordinary explanation made in a police court was offered by a woman accused of shoplifting in ' , Manchester. "I was looking at the cos- \ tume," she said, "when I became dizzy f and it fell into my arms." * * # I ' POOR MIKE. * s "Who goes there?" the sentry chalr lenged. ' » I "Lord Gdrt." answered the tipsy 1 recruit. - Again the sentry put the same ques- • tion and received the same answer. -, Whereupon he knocked -the-, offender.-,■- ---• down. . r When the latter came to, the ser- • r geant was Ending over" him. "See • here," said the sergeant, "why didn't • you answer right when the sentry chal- ■ lenged you?" , . ■ , • "Holy St. Patrick!" said the recruit. I "If he'd do that to Lord Gort what 1 chance would poor Mike Flannigan - have?" 2 # * * ' INTIMATION. 3 Sleepy Eye: S. R. Lysagh't's sonnet, . t "The Penalty of Love," will reach you early next week. Thanks for appre- '■ I ciative note. t "I Don't Know": Like yourself, we i had considerable regard for A. G. Mac- ; donell. As to hi*s death, yOu will know p present. Macdonell was one of the : 8.8.C.'s most informing and straightforward commentators. " Marie (Napier): Would be impossible for us to oblige you, due to war Circumstances. After the duration. . . ? D.D. (Seatoun): A plagiarist, is one who appropriates another's ideas, etc., in literature, music, and so on. They are found in every country. C: (1) You are not permitted to refer,to those visitors. (2) Whitaker's would supply those figures. *.* ' * FUN ON THE FARM. > \ Mum thought she would like to have . a few animals about the place v so • bought six sheep. The time came ' when they had to be shorn. Problem ; was how? Dad didn't know much ' about it, either.. First Mum borrowed '. some shears, next they tried to catch . : the sheep (they refused to be driven : into the shed). They also refused to be- ! caught. Mum said: "We'll just have to run after them until they are tired; ; with all that wool it won't take long. Dad ran and swore, Mum also r;an, ■ Sonny sat on the gate and cheered. 1 At last Mum caught one, and sat on ; it, until Dad came along. However, ' the sheep wouldn't wait and Mum ; wouldn't give in. Sitting astride the sheep she careered across the paddock, ! Sonny yelling: "Ride 'em, cowboy." ! They got it safely into the shed, tak- ' ing turns holding it and using the shears. Mum said those shears are 1 raising blisters. "I'll get my big scissors and start the Other end," which ' she did. That first sheep looked funny ' after it was done, with blobs of wool . left here and there. Hoxvever, Mum 1 and Dad improved with practice, artd ' were able to point with pride to the i Others. We've all been premised a v ■ bed quilt with the results of their first' > dliP> ' AC. < Upper Hutt. * * * * • . ! BLACKBIRD. He comes on chosen evenings, My blackbird bountiful, and sings : Over the gardens of the town Just at the hour the Sun goes down. His flight across the chimneys thick, By some divine arithmetic, Comes to his customary stack, And couches there his plumage black, And there lifts his yellow bili, ' Kindled against the sunset, till ' These suburbs are like Dyatock woods. Where music has her solitudes, • And while he mocks the winter's wrong . Rapt on his pinnacle of songFigured above our garden plots Those are celestial chimney-pots. JOHN DRINKWATER. * * * PERSONALITIES. Who are they, and what do they stand for? First Of all, Gandhi, Nehru, and Jinnah are all lawyers by profession. Gandhi is'not of high caste, ° he is not a Brahmin; he is the son of a small shopkeeper and moneylender. He has a very complicated personality: a visionary and a fanatic - He is> also an extremely adroit politician, with one of the finest publicity and advertising machines. He has a tremendous hold on the Hindu element, especially the uneducated element. He hates civilisation and science. Yet, some years ago, when he got appendi- i citis, he asked for and obtained the services of a British surgeon, who operated successfully. Nehru is a Brahmin, with an ' Oxford education. His is probably the case of a in in -*• was embittered by what he once called "British stupidity and colour prejudice." Has a brilliant brain which he can use, is sincere and & patriot. lie aims to don Gandhi's mantle in time. Jinnah came up the hard way; he was" a poor boy in Bombay adopted by a wealthy widow- He has made good and is a pleasant person to meet. His party does not represent large Siasse*. lof Moslem, opinion*