POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXIII, Issue 135, 10 June 1942, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

tY PERCY FLAGE

"Russia is already broken, never to rise again," said Hitler. That was on October 3—probably the astrologer's day off, . # «■ ■» The Seven Wonders of the Modern World—Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, an« Saturday. # * <• Norman Bruce (Glasgow "Evening News"): London; 'tis said, contains 300 people who are coin collectors. The population of Aberdeen, however, is 167,000. . a # * Bill: Hope triumphs over experience, as we see the Fuhrer is once more distributing the annual seed catalogue * with the fo/g tomato, -victory, on the cover*.. - • •.•■ -•':■- -'■■ : ■ *■ * ,-."■■-■■* HAmcEAirr^ "My grandson," said the old lady proudly, "is in the Ai? Force.' 1 "That's fine. What isjie?' "Oh, he's an aircraftman.' "Splendid. What does he do?" "Oh. he's an 'airdresser." . JOEY. •.■ • # ••♦-■; -'--■# ROYAL DILEMMA. The Order of Merit that was con*ferred on Professor Gilbert Murray (dead the other day) recalls the most embarrassing moment ever known at an investiture. It occurred when Lord Lister, the great surgeon, knelt for King Edward VII to place the order round his neck. \,< Lister had an exceptionally large head—too large for the ribbon. The . order stuck on his nose—'and would go no further, however hard the King pushed. Finally, Lister had to take it away in his hand. JEWS' HARP. Dear Mr, Flage,—-In my boyhood days (alas, long past now), as a member of a nondescript band composed of jews' harps, helped out by sundry hair combs, plus a bit of paper, I was always given to understand that the name jews' harp was merely a corruption of Jaws Harp, referring to the position this alleged musical instrument was held in.—Yours, etc., J.D.H. F.S.—-Trying to account to mother for missing combs made a hard life much harder still. ■..'■■ # . « # WATER INTO MILK, Britain's nursing mothers and children will have another 3,000,000 gallons of milk a year as the result of a new raethqd of dealing with waste water in dairies and milk-receiving depots. An enormous quantity of water is used for washing out churns, lids, and troughs, as well as for cleaning down floors on which milk has been spilt, and this waste water frequently carries away from 0.5 to 1 per cent, of the milk handled. Thus, if the quantity of washing water is about\the same as the quantity of milk dealt with, a milk depot handling 10,000 gallons of miUs a day may also discharge each day 10,000 gallons of waste water containing from 60 to 100 gallons of milk. Contributed by "Kentish." 4 -::- » JONQUILS. Nature appears to be misbehaving herself, what with one thing and another. Yesterday, a Col 8 reader surprised us (and lots of other people) with a bouquet of tall, fair jonquils, from Island Bay. One stem carried ten branches, Our' snowdrops are bursting into bloom, our usuallyearliest rhododendron <a deep pink) is defying this quaint winter, there are still shot-silk roses, smallish but beautiful, and the jonquils up the drive are on the edge of opening their eyes to the sun. A colleague tells of a Lower Hutt large-grown rhododendron (another pink) as complete • a picture of .colour as though it were blazing in springtime gloriously. What old winter thinks of such happenings we are unable to define. . , a, * ■■ * WHY COMMANDO? Britain's adoption of the essentially South African term commando, which was used to describe the shock troops in the St. Nazaire raid and other raids, has aroused some ©vergea. The advisory board "of the 8.8.C, was. recently asked the reasons which - prompted the War Office to choose the word "commando," Professor M. Jpad and Colonel Walter Elliott, in reply, pointed out that the characteristics of the old Boer commandos led by Smuts and de Wet were irregularity in numbers, daring, and mobility. Actually, says the "Cape Times," the word "commando" is of Portuguese extraction, and the first to use it was William J. Burcheil, the famous traveller and botanist. In his "Travels In the Interior of Southern Africa," issued in . the early part of the last century, Burchell refers to a Boer who was "absent on commando, or militia service against the Caffers in the Zuurveld." # ■ * • ■ THE.CHURCHILL BOOK. Will Lawson, now in Sydney, and one of the oldest and best known of our New Zealand poets, has written an Inspiring poem on the Churchill Book, the cornerstone of the Churchill Auctions. His arresting verses, printed below, should greatly assist the campaign to, secure gifts of literary and art treaures'for patriotic funds. Here is a book whose story' - j Out of the past is bringing Something of England's- .story, Of a brave island singing-— Of Kings who lived to fashion An Empire wide for free men— Of shores the free seas crash "on, An Empire held by seamen. Down dim and dusty ages Has culture's lamp been burning, Hidden in musty pages, Waiting the readers' turning. Blazing from eyes of zealots, Through cloudy, dark days showing, Stamped on by boots of helots, , Yet still undaunted glowing. Let us not hoard or cherish, Too much, arts, jewels precious, Lest in our hnads they perish; - Fading like visions specious; When to the march of vandals The light we trimmed S9 truly In lantern flame or candles ■...; Dies in war's flames - unruly. Within shy culture's portals.. Let giving be your by-woi'd, Holding for the immortals ..-. ■ Art's blazing beacon skyward. So, by your glad, free giving-™-To needy war funds swelling— By the lost arts and living, .. : Of Britain's glory telling;1: • ■ " ♦ ■ :.* ■ •:.#, CHURCHILL'S HUMOUR, The Prime Minister had a sly dij at the old school tie not so long sine* when ho quoted a Latin phrase in the r House, and then offered to translate it for the benefit of any Old Etonian! who were present. Churchill ofter delights his hearers by similar' unexpected flashes. At one time he was , . very keen on public health, and en- ' thusiusts-hoped he might devote his _■ great gifts to that cause. But he passed . on to other things. Someone asked him why, He replied that ho couldn't faqe the prospect of spending years down the drain with JMrs. Sidney Webb, i the great Socialist. ' ' ~