POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXIII, Issue 134, 9 June 1942, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

8Y PERCY FLAGE

The Blonde Beast has declared that he who eats democracy will die of it. So will he. * # ' «■ Melisande says: .Laziness breeds human "gimme"' pigs. (Copyright.) •» # «• Goering to the Nazis: "Do your duty. Don't despair. When in doubt think of the Fuhrer. Yes, ramping in his dug-out, his eyes blazing." * «• * . "John Storm"; The authorities favour smaller taxis. Quite so. We also (not in authority) can appreciate smaller taxes, * « * J.S.: It is surely optimistic anticipation of the effect of the beer tax that "apparel of feathers" is' not to be a drain on our coupons. « * * HEARD THIS ONE? Sausages have a long history. Greek dramatists made joket about them 2500 years ago. They've even been in the crime news. In 1931. a German burgla* , his pockets, full of loot, hung a string of them about his neck. As he was making his getaway the sausages caught on a nail and strangled him. * * * IDENTITY CARD. A bomb fell in an East End cemetery and dislodged a skeleton, who was caught by a policeman walking away with his tombstone under his arm. "Hey, what's that for?" said the policeman. "Identity card, mate," said the skeleton. •;:- « aBRIGHT LAD. When the mother of a small boy aged five, son of a New Zealand airman, was vigorously drying his small body with a rough towel, the youngster, who is an enthusiast on anything to do with flying, was heard to exclaim: "Mummie, you are rubbing my fuselage too hard." "KITTYHAWK." * ■* # "CASABIANCA" CENSORED. The American censorship is still sufficiently new to provide the newspapers with plenty of good-humoured pleasantry. A parodist in the "Denver Post" gives this version of Felicia Heman's well-known poem, "Casabianca": The boy stood on the (censored) deck. When all but he (deleted). (This message gives out shipping news And cannot be completed.) «- « # FIRE ENGINES IN CHURCH! So many churches have been burned out in air raids that it is interesting to read of the fire hooks that still hang inside many old English churches. These are hooked iron poles about six feet long, and were used for pulling down burning buildings. In Malmesbury Abbey, Wiltshire, there is a remarkable old fire engine dating from about 1700, complete with primitive hand pumps and a row of leather fire buckets. For centuries the parish church in every town and village was the headquarters of the local'fire brigade. * ■» -» CLAY SOAP. Talking of soap, the Nazis' ersatz of soap is not what New Zealanders would like to make use of. Britain's Minister of Economic Warfare had .smuggled to him a small yet weighty cake of the best quality toilet soap, green and gritty on the hands.' British soap is 60 per cent.» fatty content, whereas in the Reich it is between 15 and 20 per cent, the rest being "loaded, with clay." German pre-war plans for;, manufacture of soap out of synthetic fats derived from coal have collapsed because of other more important .demands on coal for use in making "synthetic gasoline, rubber, and other products. The clay in the Nazi soap.fills pores in the skin, tending to have; a ldrf£-term injurious effect. ■'* rrf "V * ; «• JEW'S HARP. Tika digs up this note: The Jew's harp, which was called by Bacon, years and years ago, the jeutrompe, by Beaumont and-Fletcher, a literary pair, the jew-trump; -and the famous Hackluyt, the Jew's harp, was evidently the French jeu-trompe (toy-trumpet). "Trompe" in" French has a very wide signification, and means a horn, trumpet, rattle, Jew's harp, and many other things. The best player on this instrument was Koch (in his time), a soldier under Frederick the Great. Twang adds .to the information: Being an old member of the music trade, I was interested in an item in Column 8 tonight (June 3) in regard to a small musical (!) instrument, the Jew's harp. This little article has for goodness knows how long been named Jew's harp, whereas the correct name given in all musical catalogues and* by manufacturers is JAWS HARP. It is difficult to understand how the original names continued to be used, unless it was because of the extreme low price which was connected with those worthy people. » » * FOR VICTORY. I cannot join in the battle—God has not willed it so— I cannot fight in the heavens or march against the foe; But, speaking a word in season for God and for the Right, I can strengthen the feet that falter, uphold the hands that fight! I can speak some word of comfort to others in their pain, And, stifling my own heart's terrors, bid the fearful hope again! I can trust, and pray for Victory, casting out useless fears; Give, labour, lend for Victory, and the hope of future years. This is no time for repining, idly imputing the blame! None of our hands are spotless! All have a share in the shame! But all too share in the Victory, if all share in the fight, Give, labour, lend for Victory—for God and for the Right. . Montreal "Star." —Grace Pollard. Contributed by Miss T., Khandallah. « # « MOST FAMOUS BATTLE. The Greeks are no longer to any extent in the news, but let us go back to the heyday of Greece. Here's the story. In 490 B.C. the Athenians, who had just deposed and exiled their last tyrant and formed the first democracy of which we have an^ record, were at war with the Persian Empire. The Odds against the Greeks were terrific. The Persian tyrant was master of the world from Afghanistan to the Mediterranean and from the Balkans to Egypt, Attila—of which Athens was the capital—was a country smaller than many English counties. Yet against a vastly superior force her small army of free citizens won toe most famous battle of all history— Marathon. Why? Let Herodotus, the historian who wrote only a few years later, give us his explanation. He says: "Liberty and equality of civic rights are brave spirit-stirring things, and they who while under the yoke of a despot had been no better men of war than any of their neighbours, as soon as they were free.became the. foremost men of ail; for each felt that in fighting for a free commonwealth he fought for' himself and whatever he took in hand he was zealous to do the work thoroughly."