POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXIII, Issue 43, 20 February 1942, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

We-should love to see the Duce Trying to duck a wild Baluchi. # ♦ ♦ Jake: The original writer is not the one who doesn't imitate anybody, but the one that nobody can imitate. ■ • >. * * Add .explanations: A robot is a machine so nearly human that it does things without using any intelligence. # ♦ ♦ Japan, has a feeling that even if the Boss wins he will make her line up with the already gauleitered Italy. *.. ♦ ♦ Maori Mac: And 'midst all the thunder squalls and human squeals did any critic shOut the name of him who could have averted defeat? And how? * *' .*. LIMERICK. A German whose name was yon Fritz . Said: "Prison camp's just like der Ritz, Each morning I dine Off food vich is fine, And don't 'aye ter live by my vitz." O'L. ♦ * . ♦ NOT LICKED YET. A young Scottish soldier had just finished writing a letter when an enemy air raid started. "Shall I bother to address it?" he asked with a mock tragic air. "I may never be able to post it." "Never mind, Jock," said his friend, "you needn't lick the stamp till the <*■ 'all-clear' goes." '*■• ♦ .* ■■'■■ BY THE YARD. At the film studios they measure emotion by the yard. An actor (so we read) needs an average of 18ft of film, twelve seconds' Hinriing time, to show that he is really hurt or shocked. He can register joy in exactly a third of the time. Fear and defiance are also quickly registered, each requiring six to nine feet of celluloid. Fury and hysteria, however, are almost as slowly recorded as shock, with fright, terror, and horror following in order of slowness. » * ♦ ROMANOFFS' END. Dear Mr. Flage,—"Friendly" writes what is only a half-truth when he . states Tsar Nicholas II was not killed by the Bolsheviks. He suggests this, surely? While it is true the Tsar was practically a prisoner in his castle grounds from March, 1917, to November, 1917, at the instigation of the Grand Dukes, all commentary on the subject of the last days of the, Romanoffs goes to show that the Tsar and his family met their deaths at Ekaterinburg (Catherineburg) and Alapayevsk in July, 1918, this being at the foot of the Urals. And at the hands of the Bolsheviks! To say they were murdered will be a matter of opinion. What appears to be more near the truth is that those unfortunate, and, in the main, luckless ones met their deaths as being the symbol of all the misfortunes which had fallen on the country in the last 300 years. LESS FRIENDLY. * -H- # COMPLIMENTARY. . Dear Sir,—Are you able to find time to let us have more of your sketches re the Maori roadman? For a number of years I was an em- * plOyer of Maori labour, and your sketches are the real thing. Anyone who knows the Maori will tell you'so. The processes of thought and the expressions used are those of the Maori seen in country districts. The author must have had considerable experience of the species. It may please you to know that your Wiremu sketches are read with pleasure by numbers of people, though it takes a man with knowledge of the Maori to appreciate them properly. What makes the sketches so characteristic is the fact that Wiremu is not so foolish as he makes out—there is a shrewd mind behind his remarks. With the compliments of ONE OF YOUR READERS. We hope to have more of those sketches at intervals. * * v ♦ "THE VANGUARD." This was written by Henry Lawson, and published by the "Bulletin" June 5, 1905, after the destruction of the Russian navy at Tsu-shima. There is a touch of the prophet in the poet. While the crippled cruisers stagger where the blind horizon dips, And the ocean ooze is rising round the sunken battleships, While the battered wrecks unnoticed with their mangled crews drift past, Let me fire one gun for Russia, though that gun should be the last. 'Tis a struggle of the Ages, and;the White Man's star is dim. There' is little jubilation, for the game has got too grim, But though Russia's hopes seem shattered, and the Russian Star seems set, It may mean the dawn for Russia—and my hope's in Ivan yet! 'Tis the first round of the struggle of the East against the West, Of the fearful war of races—for the White Man could not rest. Hold them, Ivan! staggering bravely underneath your gloomy sky, Hold them, Ivan! we shall want you pretty badly bye and bye. Fighting for the Indian Empire, when the British pay their debt, Never Briton watched for Blucher as we'll watch for Ivan yet! It means all to young Australia—lt means life Or death for us, For the Vanguard of the White Man is the Vanguard of the Russ. (One stanza omitted.) ♦, * ♦ PROBLEM. The answer to No. 1 problem, the work of "This Hugh" (nee "Hugh Merus") is as follows:— Thos. Bloggs married Mary Smith. Their three children were Henry, Kate, and Joseph Bloggs. All three married. The child of Henry Bloggs was Jane Bloggs. The child of Joseph Bloggs was Mary Bloggs. Now, Kate Bloggs married William Snoggs, and had two children—John Snoggs and Alfred Snoggs. These two families again united when Jane Bloggs married John Snoggs :and Alfred Snoggs married Mary Blbggs. Therefore, John Snoggs can say to Joseph Bloggs, "You are my father's brother-in-law, because my father married your sister Kate. You are my brother's father-in-law because my brother Alfred married your daughter Mary, and you are my father-in-law's brother because my wife Jane was your brother Henry's daughter.'? Comments "This Hugh!':. "I. have marked the four papers and find A.J.R. first, M. Stewart second; with J.H.; and A.C.G. third equal. ,So as to allow points for next problems, let us take the first two as winners." . . . Watch out for the next problem. It i will be easier.