POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXI, Issue 103, 3 May 1941, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

j Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY FLAGE . Matsuoka: "Japan is praying for a quick German victory." So is Hitler. * * ..-■■•• Heard in a New York night club: } "She's a decided blonde—she just de--1 cided last week." 1 # * * 2 Negrology: Making money may be all s right but you sho' kin waste a pow'rful i lot of time making it. l ■*■;.■*; # \ Fun in the news (Perm. newspaper): 1 Due to an Error, Mr. and Mrs. P. P. 5 Phillips are the parents of a Girl born Thursday in the Mercy Hospital. * * . '*•. If, says Uncle Dudley, there are x 5,000,000 enemies of America in the U.S., my answer is that there are 5,000.000 lamp-posts to hang thenvon. * • * * CHINS UP. H.M.H. writes: This verse was put up in some of the tube lifts during tin 1914-18 war and I learned them goinj down y in the Piccadilly; tube lift: If the day looks kind o* gloomy, .■[. An' yer chances kind b' slim, If the situation's puzzlin', ■'.■•■ An' the prospects awful grim, If troubles keep on pressin' Till all hope has nearly gone, Jes bristle up an' grit yer teeth An' keep on keepin' on. * # ♦ , ROUND THE COUNTIES. You have evacuated into your area any number of people from the big towns, says a writer in "Horse and Hound," people possibly with socialistic or anti-sport ideas. If they see you arrive at 'the Meet in your cars— possibly a very expensive one and possibly with a chauffeur, and, .of course, your groom there, too—it will create a very bad impression, ; I feel sure. So if you simply cannot ride to the Meet h\ wartime,-do choose a quiet spot where you won't be seea changing from car to horse or vice-• versa. • ' ■ . • . ■ -.'./■ HEARD THIS? Dear Percy Flage,—-The following is '.■•' a story as related to me quite recently and quite true:— ' . The scene is a well-known city in Australia with a bridge which is the apple of the eye of the locals. A NewZealand soldier on a troopship is* busy talking to a man in one of the many sight-seeing launches which were hovering around. He asked him where the famous bridge was, which, by the way, was only a short distance off arid could quite easily be seen. It was pointed out to him, and his remark was: "Hell, we have bigger blanky things than that for coat hangers in New Zealand!" Exit blanky disgusted sightseer. L.J.T • • * '.'■'.• ♦ ALPHABETIC SOLDIERS. The most useful of the twenty-six soldiers of the alphabet is the "E" — useful because it does more-work than any other. The letter "E" is an unfortunate letter, however, since it is always out of cash, for ever in debt, never out of danger, and in hell' all the time. But those, who■'.traduce, the letter "E" should_ "not forget' that it is never in war, always in peace, is the beginning of existence, and. the, end of trouble. Without it there would be no meat, no life, no heaven; no wine or women, both so necessary to make song enjoyable. ■ It is the centre of honesty, makes love perfect, is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end and the end of every place. Without it there would be no editors, writers, or even wives or children. * * '♦■..' SCHOOL'S IN. . Do you know that— (1) Hitler eats very few potatoes, ! while President Roosevelt is apt to eat two or three times the usual order of fried potatoes? (2) On the library shelves of Britain there are (or were) over 36,750,000 books, including five million in the British Museum? (3) Though England produces no raw pulp of its own, it is reckoned that 90 per cent, of the waste paper which could be pulped and used again is destroyed? (4) Bubbles are the greatest use in - up-to-date methods of fire fighting with so-called firefoam? (5) Bhai Lekhraj, a modern Don Juan Indian, and a multi-millionaire, has announced that he will not stop stealing wives until he has reached the exact number of 16,107? (6) Data show that 2400 bombers consume about 288,000 gallons per hour, 1600 pursuit planes consume 160,000 per hour? (7) The secret of fashioning glass eyes was discovered by one or two families in Germany? (8) The Romans made their furniture of citron wood, and believed it to be a tree of the pine family? (9) Of the Argentine population of 15,000,000, the Italian colony numbers over one million? (10) London with its fogs continues to have the lowest mortality record, per thousand of Inhabitants, of any : city in the world? * * * DREAMS WITHIN DREAMS. I have gone out and seen the lands of Faery, And have found sorrow and peace and beauty there, And have not known-one from the other, but found each Lovely and gracious alike, t delicate and fair. . • . : "They are children of one mother, " she that is called Longing, Desire, Love," one told me: and an« other "her secret name Is Wisdom;" and another, "they are not three but one": And another, "touch them not, seek them riot; they are wind »nd ; flame." / ; I have come back from the hidden, ' silent lands of Faery, And have forgotten the music of ; its ancient streams; And now flame and. wind and the long, • grey wandering wave And beauty and peace and sorrow are dreams within dreams. "FIONA MACLEOD" V (William Sharp.) * * * A FOLLOW-UP. One of the most interesting military communiques on record was sent by Feisal, son of Hussein, King of the Hedjaz, who was the leader of the Arab revolt against the Turks in the Great War of 1914-18. The Arabs, under Feisal, won an important victory over the Turks south of "the Dead Sea, and he sent the following communique announcing the victory to British headquarters:—"Our victorious troops have captured one of the enemy's divisions near Tafileh. The truth follows by post." The Arab official responsible for the wording of the communique was not thoroughly familiar with the niceties of the English language, and did not realise that the message was open to misconstrue- ■ tion.