POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXI, Issue 38, 14 February 1941, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

M.M.M.—A matron with an auth« oritative bosom. ." : ' *.• : • ■'■♦•■■ ■:■ . Remember: An idle army has eveß ) been a menace to dictators. ■ # «• * R.A.F. motto: "See Naples and '" dive." ■ j [. - * * * d Work, says Soapy Sam, should be s cheering as a song and tempting as a n sin. j * * ■.*■-..■ 6 A South London barber who had tWS upper part of his shop blown away c put up this notice on his door: "I have had a close shave. ... What c about you?" y . * * :, GENTLENESS. s "Thoughtful" writes that the best :1 and truest meaning of the word "gentlee ness" is sometimes forgotten. There is the gentleness which is the anti- ° thesis of grossness, and that which is d the good in the worst of us, and that which fights sturdily- with war's weapons for the principles for which g Christ's gentleness fought. !t * * * d ■' c LESS NOISE! s In Lancashire the cotton mills, like !- other industrial plants, have introduced :" "roof-spotters" who take up their posts " on the roofs of buildings after an air- • raid alarm has been sounded. The mills c are kept running until the spotters give 5- warning that the enemy is approachl- ing, and that it is time to take cover. l' In this way the waste of time is re-.----y duced to a minimum. At one big spinn ning and weaving mill in Lancashire a v tackier went on the roof for his first spell of duty as a spotter. Within two minutes he was on the telephone to „ the manager: "Tell 'em to stop the engine," he said, "I can't hear owt up 'ere for it." ** . * r FLOWER NOMENCLATURE. n Dear Sir,—Your correspondent y "Woozitt" forgot to make acknow--0 ledginents to Susan Ertz in his para- " phrase in your column tonight about y the names of diseases sounding like - the names of flowers. Here is the l- text, from "Madame Claire": L" "Did you ever stop to think that the 2 names of diseases and the names of flowers are very similar? For instance, *. I might say, 'Do come and see my '■■ garden. It is at its best now, and 3 the double pneumonias are really - wonderful. I'm very proud of my traila ing phlebitis, too, and the laryngitises •• and deep purple quinsies that I put t in last year are a joy to behold. The a bed of asthmas and malarias that you - used to admire are finer than ever this 7 summer, and the dear little dropsies are in bloom down by the lake, and make such a pretty showing with the blue of the anthrax border behind them." Does "Woozitt" think he could get away with that? H.K. * « * , HEMINGWAY KNEW. Ernest Hemingway, American author and journalist, writing in tli6 magazine 'Ken" on the eve of the war, gave a fairly accurate forecast of the Italian military organisation. Here it is: - . . "You have to realise that Italian 3 militarism is not—like German" militarism—the expression of a people that history has shown to be suited 1 to be soldiers. Italian militarism is j the romantic thinking of men who were not brave and want to be; of [ men who were not in the war and would like to have been; of\a race of patriots who like to imagine them- [ selves as soldiers and- are not good at " [t- • , • "The average Italian conscript is ; only a passable soldier, even if he is f well led, and there never have been " enough brave. cool, non-panicky " Italians in Italy to officer an army of • the size Mussolini has built. "In Spain we found quantities of 1 cartridges, automatic rifles, machine- ! guns, trench mortars, shells, trucks, ! tractors, tanks, guns, piled and scat- " tered all along the roads. We found ■ prisoners hidden in caves, barns, straw- ; stacks, but we could not find the Italian Army. They had pulled out." - * # * BENITO AT THE CROSSROADS. , But the Duce's brow was sad, ; And the Duce's speech was low, ; And darkly looked he at the wall, • And darkly at the foe. ■ "These Greeks will be upon us . If I can't trust my men; And if we're driven back to Rome, What hope for poor old Ben?" Then out spake Count Ciano (Who married Ben's young gal): "I'll get the Fascist Big Shots— We'll see you through, old pal! For we must stop the Grecos; They're much too fresh and free. Now who will stand on either hand And sock the Greeks with me?" Theiv out spake old Badoglio; • A marshal sage was he: "I will not stand at thy right hand And sock the Greeks with thee." And out spake Cavagnani, Whose Roman blood was blue: "I won't abide on thy left side; I'm quittin'! Toodle-oo!" Oh, Tiber! Father Tiber! To whom the Romans pray, Just think of it! The boys have quit! What would Macaulay say?— Horatius and HerminiusAnd Spurius Laritus bold, Who stopped the Tuscan army in the brave days of old? A Victorian friend sent these verses, copied from "Oriel" in the Melbourne "Argus," to one of our readers. .» * '* HER NAME'S NOLEEN. Dear Flage,—Even the festive school holidays have their tragic aspect for the few. When school-bag-packing-day came, preparatory to being present at the morning roll-call, wee Noleen "played up" because a broken arm in splints and plaster rendered it imperative that she be marked "absent" on opening day. So something had to De done to lighten her mental load and help bring forgetfulness, or resignation to her hard fate. An exercise book was requisitioned and transformed by means of scissors and paste into a scrap-book replete with bonnie babies ready for the bath-tub, "outdoor" girls in hiking rig, screen stars "twinkling" before the eye of a camera, and a flu-stricken quadruped, coddled in a blanket, enjoying a footbath and hot lemon drinks to keep the cold shivers away. (Horse sense!) A new sandbucket, sea shells, and an assortment of gay ribbon-remnants for her dollies, completed the "first aid" kit for the resignation act. Did it work? Road her letter: . "Dear Soldier Boy.—l want to thank you for wat you have sent me. -I hope that 'Phil' has told you that I am out. of the hospital. I thort I had better tel you. unles you did not know, thows ribins you sent me. the red and yelow, are the school ckolors. "Good by my frend, "NOLEEN." It takes one's thoughts back to Mark Twain and his darling daughter Susy's diary—treasure trover —_ . ". *