POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXX, Issue 9, 10 July 1940, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY FLAGE "Undies, Melisande!—A patent slip?" T.H. * * * "Hitler may well have killed the goose that laid the blood-and-iron egg." ■ # * * Popular song: "Love Makes the World Go Round." Anyhow, it's a dizzy business. B. #« * * No, Miss, all the Germans aren't cowards. Six of 'em came for old Mac 'ere, an' it was a long time afore they giVe "Punch," 1915, # * * HIGHER EDUCATION. Dear Mr, Flage,—You remember "The boy stood on the burning deck. His trousers wanted mending," and all the rest of it? WellMary learnt the game of oridge, She learnt it at the college. And now when Mary plays at night She profits, by her knowledge. WILL-GEE. * * * "WHAT'S IN A NAME? Try ADOLF HITLER. Red hot Liar Thief Loafer * Hater Daft Dolt Rat HellFire Death Fancy being bom with that little lot, and having earned most of them, can't escape the last! EIGHTH COLUMN. * * * INFORMATION DEPARTMENT. Some days ago there appeared itt the advertising columns of "The Post" ' the following:—"Of interest to sea captains—Wanted to sell, Caul. . . ." J.H. (Aramoho), noticing this, has written asking for an explanation. Here goes—A caul is the membrane on the head of some new-born infante. It is supposed to be a charm against death by drowning. To be born with a caul was with the Romans tantamount to the old phrase: "To be born with' a silver "spoon in his mouth." Also, a caul was a close-fitting woman's cap, especially one made of network worn in the 16th and 17th centuries; hence the membranous covering to the headbrain, and the intestines.

LAST WILL IN VERSE. Drawing up his will twenty years ago, a Scotsman, Mr. .David Many of Ayr, decided to write it in verse. In the presence of two boyhood friends, whom he said he would,like to act as his trustees, he wrote the poem after the style of Burns. It has now been accepted as _ his legal will, and has been lodged in the Register House, Edinburgh. It reads: Here are we met, twa merry boys, We've often happy been as three; Now since I'm left these;earthy joys, Please kindly act as my trustee. I hereby certify tae you, / All my possessions, tho' but few, I leave untae my sisters baith, Maggie and Lizzie, at. my daith. I grant to each. an equal share, I'm yours respectfully, David Mair. SCOTLAND'S FAIRT. They tell me Herrier Hitler, altho' ye're fu' o' tricks, The day is no faur distant when" yell see yer am wee chicks A' toddiin' up the Wilhelmstrasse, ar comin' hame tte roost, Because discreetion tae the winds ye like a daftie coost! Like maisf o' wee chicks daddies, ye'v» , crawed a bit owre crouse; Ye thocht yersel' "Cock o- the Walk" an' let yer tongue gae loose. I'm tauld on quid authority, ye hae

some scheme on hand Tae drap yer Nazi BligHters oh Britain's bonnie strand! I canna speak for England, for Iroland, or for Wales, But I'll speak oot for Scotland an' no tell ony tales! Wherever Scotsmen gether, yell get it pipin' het— ' An' that's the merest fraction o' what ye're gaun tae get! We hae the Scots Guards, Gordons, Royal Scots, an' staunch Argylls, The Black Watch, Seaforths, Camerons, <

in deep extensive files, The King's Am Scottish Borderers, i&« ,

Royal Scots Fusiliers, The Scottish Rifles, H.L.1., wha ha» nae fechtin' peers! An' last, but no the least o' a', we hae the Royal Scots Greys. It shows ye hae no nwckle sense tat try an 1 fecht wi' thase; But onyhoo, I'll tell ye this—whatever game ye play— Ye're snookered—euchred—bunkered-* that's a'-I hae tae say! v ' . , CROWBAR. ' Glossary:—Pairt, part; Herrier, true Scots for despoiler; faur, far; am, own; daftie, fool; coost, cast; maist, mosjE; crawed,< crowed; owre, over; crouse» lively; thocht, thought; gae, go; taufd; told; quid, good; hae, have; drap, dropj; gether, gather; pipin' het, piping ho|; gaun, going; H.L.1., Highland Ligllt Infantry; wha, who; nae, no; fechtin£, fighting; muckle, much; thase, these; onyhoo, anyhow! •X- * * "FIFTH COLUMN." Swashed under the Nazi Juggernaut, France has gone Fascist. How ami why? Read this. Soon after his rise to power seven years ago, Hitler expounded to a group of confidants on the verandah of Haus Wachenfeld, his mountain-top retreat at Obersalzberg, his theory of conquest; So breath-taking in its nefarious scopjp and so complete in its unscrupulous detail that the little audience was incredulous. Secretly they dismissed it as a mad dream until, its actual realisation impelled one of the group. Dr. Herman Rauschning, to record it years later in his "Voice of. Destruc* " tion." "When I wage war," declared the Fuhrer, "troops will appear, let us say, in Paris. They will wear French uni. forms. They will march through the streets in broad daylight. Everything has been thought out and prepared to the last detail. The unlikeliest things are the surest. "We shall have enough volunteers, men like our Sturmabteilung (Storm Troops), trustworthy and ready for any sacrifice. We shall send them across the border in peacetime, gradually. No one shall see them as anything but commercial travellers. , .;, We shall' have friends who will help us in all enemy countries. ... "Mental confusion, contradiction of feeling, indecisiveness, and panic— . these are our weapons. . . . Our strategy is to destroy the enemy from within, to conquer him through himself." One need not take Rauschning's word. History has confirmed it in. Austria, Czecho-Slovakia, Danzig, Nos* i way, the Netherlands, and now France.