POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXX, Issue 3, 3 July 1940, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Whoozit: Mussolini: Hitler's "alllie."

Then there was a provincial paper, which began an article: "Dr. Serge Voronoff, the money-gland; specialist. . . ."

Headline in Chicago "Daily News"— Mystic Charm of Blackouts Grips Citizens of Britain. You're telling- them! * « *

Jake: The slogan of Communism might be: To each according to his needs, from each according to the Government's.

"In places the two. lies were not 100 yards apart. . ". ." Goebbels'sr fabrication factory has been ordered to> engage the enemy more closely. * * *

True story. One of our local for-eign-born, internees wept silently on the way to his temporary island, horna because it meant.living with German!* for the duration.

LAND OF THE FREE. In Alabama women must not wear ankle bracelets.

In Utah their high heels must not be higher than one and a half inches.

In Boston their dogs must measure under ten inches in the leg.

In Mississippi one must not wallc about the streets with shoe laces untied.

In New York State one must no* open an. umbrella, near a horse.

INFORMATION DEPT.

Kama writes: (I) Who was it wha said that "They are ringing their bells,, but soon they will wring their hands"? By the way, doesn't that apply to Hitler?

The author is Sir Robert Walpole. It appears in his declaration of war against Spain in 1739. The saying begins: "They now ring the bells . . ." not as you have given it. It. is fervently to be hoped that the Ftthrer will be wringing his hands sooner oe later.

(2) The only details- we have of the Nazi headsman is: His name is. Hugo. Hantz, he stands 6ft high,, weighs nearly fifteen stone, and began the working part of his life as a pastrycook in. a Wurtemberg village.

BRAIN-TEASERS.

Further solutions to hand by mail and telephone: most of them of No. I —the flight of test pilots. 5.8., "Scruffy," Winger, D.F.S., "Overtoun," "O'L.," Marianne; Falcon, Ken,«and Miramar get full marks for No.. I, and "Winsome Willie," L.D., Regular Reader, and Problematic worked out tli«- ---; jumbled animals successfully. In reply to- Debut: On Saturday next the animals will give place ta fish. la . every •ease, the names given upside down, so to say, are those which, can properly be called fair names— they are more or less well known, Yotir request for a return, to- posers- of: our earlier days will be met in. alt good time. Some of them you wiH find not so obvious. Your note of appreciation of Col. 8 pleases us . . ..of course.

EVEN CATS OF WAR,

You have heard about the dags ot war, but ifs a safe wager many of you have not heard of cats of war* Well, there were such, centuries agcy land* here is the evidence-_

;' The use of cats in> wartime dates iback to' the reign of Cambyses 11, King [of Persia. It was he who,, during the 'siege of a* city, had tomcats hurled: 'over the walls They had, first been, 'made savage by ill-treatment. Attack*jed by these strange adversaries; the [inhabitants -preferred' to open thegatesi lln the sixteenth century cats went into battle with small cannon strapped on , their backs. The carman were filled with unpleasant vapoufrs r 'released by a detonator. Latterly there has not been much use for* cats in warfare— except during the siege of Paris in 1870-, when jugged cat became a necessary alternative to jugged hare and helped to, save the city from famine*

MEOW

LOOPY LIMERICKS.

Dear Percy Flage;—A recent vers* 4n "Postscripts" referred to- a fisherman who was pulled in by the fish. The correct lines are as follows:— A fishy old fisher named Fisher Fished for fish on the edge of • fissure.

A fish,-with a grin, Pulled the fisherman in, And they're fishing that fissure for Fisher.

All improvement on the contributioa printed in Col. 8? Here's another: — A tooter who tooted the flute Tutored two tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor: "Is it easier to toot, or To tutor two tooters to toot?" A third, if the sentence is not cumulative:—

A flea and a fly in a flue ■Were imprisoned. Now what coulA they do? Said- the fly: "Let us flee,' "Let us fly," said the flea. So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Have much enjoyed Col. B*, but had held off inflicting these on. you and your legion of readers.

PITT

Wanganui,

"DOBBIN."—SUGAR BABY!

Dear Flage,—Despite the streamlined 'beauty and multiple horse-power of the. j modern motor-car, a few rugged, fourhooved^'Dobbins" still hold their plaea in the affection of children going to and fro from school, as in the mor» [leisurely days of the historic vilJaga blacksmith. One Wellington favourite^ who sedately draws a City Council •milk cart, holds high levee, most mornings, nearby the new palatial dental clinic. "Girl-friends"—and "Boyfriends," too—stop to express a few -words of kindly greeting to, and ap* probation of, this veteran of the fast, [disappearing cart brigade. He pricK» !his ears jauntily and .ooks expectantly (whisper it not to the authorities), the unashamed "sugar baby!" for offerings of loaf sugar. A seven years 'old lassie, wearing bright red carpet slippers, stopped, to exchange confidences the other morning, and then darted across the. roadway in trepidation for her own safety while crossing. "Dobbin" turned his head, keeping her in view with friendly eyes. "Was she ; calling on. the family grocer, or not?" The lassie stopped and looked back admiringly, highly pleased at "Dob- ; bin's" kindly interest in her movements. Alas! she purchased a. mornling paper containing the latest war 'news. "No sugar?" Poor Dobbin!' Sugar economy has set in. Yet sweet, soo.lt-> •

ing words will still be extended t* him. In a mad world writhing in th* throes of "man's inhumanity to man,* may the "milk" of human kindnes* never completely dry up; nor affection* ate partings upon "Dobbin's" sleefr neck grow less.