HUMAN NATURE

Evening Post, Volume CXXIX, Issue 111, 11 May 1940, Page 19

HUMAN NATURE

DISLIKE OF UPLIFT

GUYING THE GUIDES

(Written for "The Post" by F. L. Combs.)

I aim before I am finished to probe into one of the knottiest problems of our civilisation—that of passing on ■uplift and enlightenment. But meanwhile let me begin at the beginning.

"The Innocents Abroad" is sure to be unfo^gptteij..... !Ebat jaunt of up-and-coming 4<£o^s v Vet go-getting) Americans ac^cjssjt Europe might also have been limited? !The Keturn of the Fit grim Eatfie^s;'' And what a return! In Par.isi; Romey and other capitals one suspeQfe J'jag^';and even if the. jags are ui^avowed one is not left in doubt, as toi:there being larks and sprees. J One ol 4 ihe larks was to bait the guides. Each i|n ;^n .-wjas^ made the butt of that American humour whose* iperti^arev driven home with the vivacity ■of kicks from a mule. The guide to: Borne got his own back. On one occasion.having called for Mark Twain-; arid, hia fello.w-musketeers of the facetious at their, hotel and described their : personal/ appearance in vain he-..ended up by :saying simply, sincerely,; even charitably, that they were ftiad. --;\r';: .■ '^.^ : •■ • ■ WHY DID THEY DOIT? Why did these fundamentally goodnatured, ppen-handed Americans thus victimise a poor devil, who after all •was only doing his job and—true white man's burden—had like themselves a household to provide with the mostly useless impedimenta of a possessive civilisation? My own reply is because they were overwhelmed with a barrage of authentic information, a deluge of indubitable facts and correct aesthetic sentiments," which they were as powerless to oppose as a garden squirt would be to resist a fire hose. They had paid to have it so? Yes, but the: childish business of __ .being spoon-fed with guide-book lore rankled all the same. Subconsciously • they felt and felt restively that their individualities were being submerged, that their once cheerful ignorance was fighting':for -breath, that they might never recover their vulgar indifference to Culture. They therefore had .«-> assert themselves somehow, and, as SelfAssertion is always at someone else's expense, they exercised theirs by scoffing brutally at the guide. Their better selves were ashamed of this and Mark Twain says that in moments. Of reflection, when a good cigar had succeeded choice wines and a wellcooked bird,, they felt sorry for him. Tlie tourist shepherding business ought to'have learnt a good deal from Samuel Clemens's veracious account Of the trip of the s.s. Quaker City. But has it? There follows at an interval of sixty years "Gone Abroad Again" by Mr. Charles Graves, in which he and his party also become confirmed guide-baiters. Mr. Graves unaided contributes nothing 'but surface impressions of lands and peoples. He seems mainly taken up with their national fofids-and fluids..? - At> -Athens, however,-., the .landing party from his lu?;ury. r liner are taken in hand by a paragon of guideis. This guide has been a professor/ and his scholarship is omniscient;'■•••■ Reverent minds' would-re-gard him wifti.awe as the first dazzling ray of'a revival: of\the "Glory that was Greece.'' Moreover,', he--is. .-conscientious and firm-minded' and, not even Mr. Graves,' though he waxes ironical, can throw "off—the, paralysing spell of his immense and exact knowledge. "GEORGE" AT ATHENS. What-- is the result? Like Mark Twain's, the conducted party, of which Graves is the chdice spirit, falls back upon persiflage little better than horseplay. Twain and - his party.: nicknamed alljtheir many guides "Fergusson," an appellation whose humorous unction never loses its savour. Mr. Graves and his abettors follow suit. He says of their Athens guide, "Soon we were all calling him 'George.' George had written three or four text* books on Greek antiquities and according to his own account had done most of the modern excavations in Athens;"- ■■■■ •■ ' '■• v/ ' " From the moment of his rechristehing the hunt is up and in a manner' more sophisticated than Yankees could encompass all pains are taken to make George's life a burden to him. His vast stores of learning are repeated ' tongue-in-cheek in what is to any reader a transparent attempt ■.to guy them. "'George* said that we were next to see the Theatre of Dionysus." "'George' reminded usi that there were different entrances to the Acropolis for the freemen and slaves." "Just like the Oval," comments the glib Mr. Graves, "but George did not understand the reference." Fortunately George was made of sturdy stuff. He held to appointed times and dragooned his party through broiling sunshine into visiting sights it was their duty to see. He gained over them the ascendancy deserved by his monolithic force of character. He did more; he tyrannised over them. "Outside 'an :inn ..(.tfie': w'e.ather:.was::still scorching hot) there were several very large and inviting barrels of ale lying, about. We wanted to see whether they were full or empty, but (what balm to this scholarly guide's tormented ego!) 'George would not let us.'" Mr. Graves tries to take leave of George oh a note of tolerant detachment. The patty bade farewell to him on the pier at Marathon—"a stubby little man with a long sad nose, large ears, thinning hair, and an intense desire, Strasbourg-goose fashion, to cram us full of information."- This sounds condescending and kindly, but it will not do. In their hearts Mr. Graves and party knew that they had met their Austerlitz and that, as guides go,- George was a Napoleon. WHY THIS ANTAGONISM? "George" was genuine and decent. So were ; at least some of the "Fergussons" of "The Innocents Abroad." All were honestly earning a crust. Why then this antagonism to them? It is because none of us can abide didacticism. Even in boyhood we vaguely resent having imposed upon us knowledge meant .to. improve our minds or exhortations in-, tended to better our natures. Acceptance 6f either partakes.of the ignominy, of self-surrender. Stalky and Co., unregenerate imps if ever there were such, revealed this resentment complex when they burlesqued their much suffering masters. . "Boy, pure boy,"_

said little Hartopp, when together with three other housemasters he overheard this diabolical trio parodying their (the housemasters') mannerisms. But it was not only pure boy. It was pure human nature. A wise Church a thousand years ago permitted buffoonery in the Miracle plays,as an escape from a similar covert distaste for improving influences.

So we come round to the problem of a civilisation which day by day in every way is bent, etc., etc. ...How I can it be. done? The casual Clingy., ' remarks of grooms and truck "drivers*; plumbers and fish-ho's : 'eduicate, arid;: many have had their destiny shaped: by the racy reminiscences of runaway seamen and reformed billiard shi^ps. Why cannot education emulate these not exactly shining examples? Ought it to assume a disguise, should it convey the bitter pill of knowledge iand morals in the sugar-coating vjbi- entrancingconversation? Who dare say? But it is curious that whenever education ceases to. be educational it does somehow :educate. ■}■■ Hence the justified' plea for w "Freedom in the Schools." Freedom for one sex1 at least; : The other sex^ one half-opines, is not averse from being told, from yielding homage to pundits wlaether dresssuited expositors or turbaned exhorters. : BABBITT'S EXPERIENCE. : Babbitt's experience' of- uplift seems to. show this;, At the moment he was at low ebb, had, been racketing round with undesirables and' was making a desperate effort to; pull his. respectability together again. Mrs. Babbitt took him to hear the "pony-built" Mrs. Opal Emerson ' MUdge ( who injected Spiritual Saturation; and prbv6d that the Essence .of the Sun Spirit was Truth. There were 65 ladies present and 10 men; the latter wriggled while their wives sat rigidly at attention. They (the ladies) listened for 87 minutes with adoring attention. As for Babbitt, he sat and suffered. . Mrs. Babbitt came away exalted and determined to Face always the day with the Dawn Laugh. Babbitt made desperate efforts to keep the peace. He had need to, for he and Mrs. Babbitt had drifted very far apart, but his mounting irritation was too much for him and the opposite effects of the 100 per cent, didactic Mrs.Mudge on his wife and. himself were the cause of a terrific squabble. Such an experience seems to cut at the root of the claims made for coeducation. But on that topic it is left jto another greatly daring to write a book, not an essay. All that is asked (not answered) here is: "Can education educate?" The answer will be given soon, for the statisticians who 1 have done so much for economics have set themselves ruthlessly and resolutely to find out. -•■;■••