POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIX, Issue 21, 25 January 1940, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Better to live safely than to live well. * « * • # Add similes: As calculating as an astronomer. * ■ * *'" Harihaha: A thought at a pedestrian crossing: Rapid communications corrupt good manners. £ * * * Omadhaun.-—The Leader of the Opposition wants ,the people to nail their colours to the mast. What's the use of their doing that if they're colour blind and can only see red? ft # * Scientists report that the average redhead has 88,000 hairs, the average blonde 104,000, and the average brunette 102,000. Even ' so, the average' man finds the average redhead the most hair-raising. * * * BEGGARS CAN BE CHOOSERS. For a position outside Warsaw Cathedral a beggar has paid £400. The \ churchyard of the cathedral is the best hunting ground for beggars in Poland, and hundreds of men and women exist on the alms they solicit there. Last year a congress of beggars was held in Warsaw. Several hundred delegates took part. The congress considered the rights and privileges of beggars as a whole, with particular attention to the question of beggars in hotels, hospitals, and sanatoriums. In Poland such places are swamped by mendicants, who make the existence of a patient a purgatory, and the life of a visitor a hell.' Hotel proprietors have even tried to buy off the beggars by offering to tax guests a certain amount for alms-I-thus saving importunity and ill-feeling. But the beggars refused—holding that the ancient and,honourable tradition of gaze. Hot, plump fingers clasped its beggary must be maintained. ' *,■...*■ # JANUARY 6, 1940. * In the dawn of a summer morning, / They silently crept to sea To serve in a fight for freedom ; In lands flung wide and free. Not alone they sailed from our fair land; With fearless courage and true, 'Twas the mothers who bore these stat wart sons, Sent their tribute for freedom too! "MOTHER." Island Bay. ■* i ■ ■ " * i* TWO DOG-POWER. . This letter to the "Motor" (England) has some point, seeing that in a few" days private car owners are to be rationed down—with a bang.. If the petrol ration should be reduced any further during the coming year some car ■ owners might consider ■ reverting to the conveyances of their great-grandfathers, . suggests the "Motor's" correspondent. But first a change in the law will be necessary, for, it was just a century ago—on January 1, 1840 —that there came into force the Act prohibiting,the use of draught dogs within the Metro-' politan Area and extended to the rest of the country in 1855. A pair of borzois attached to a natty two-wheeler, brakes-'n'-all, would look well on the Quay .of a summer even-;,'., ing. '•■'■ .■•■■•• •■•--■ ■• .. ..v. -. *#• . * UNUSUAL NEWS. ■ In the province of Limberg in. Hblland there is a little town called America. In Germany, , about three hours from Berlin, is New America, and in its neighbourhood will be found small villages known as Pennsylvania, Jamaica,' Saratoga, Marsand, Hampshire and Florida. In the Jura Mountains there are- 24 French villages whogp population of ten thousand not only do not pay taxes but actually receive-a yearly dividend of from 100 to, 200 .francs. The explanation is that eacji village owns a. large forest whose lumber is exploited in a business-like manner. Ruined Kisamul Castle on Barra Island of,the Scottish Hebrides wai once owned by the MacNeils, and visitors are told of the legend which goes back to the beginning of time. One of its owners is reported to have refused the hospitality of Noah, as "the) Mac- ' Neil had a boat of his own." MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE." No; Flage ain't written tome. yet— 'E finds it easy to forget, Bein' selfish-like an' vain to; boot (Or shoe), an' doesn't care an 'opt For what are done for him by friends—* 'E works to soot 'c's diff'rent ends. No 'ollerday for me, I swear, But does 'c mind? Or will 'c care? Not on your life. It's rather crool. But, dearie, I can took my grool. (The sugar, please). But as I live I can't forget,.an' will forgive Up to a point; but if 'c goes Hover the hedge—an* no one know* What ?e will do—l'll write a line Straight to 'c's boss, which I'll sign With my full name, an' our address, An' that'll set 'im back I guess. S'luck to them Finns. That Russhing crew Is bitin' orf more they can chew, An' may I live to see them crashed An' thrashed an' bashed an' , also smashed. Them dirty Reds! That Starling bloke— 'E 'as.become a sittin' joke, An' if, my dear, I 'ad the chance, I'd send 'im forth without no pantf To wander in the Artie snow Mad-'urigry, an' no place to go. 'Opjn' that sandflies might attack This bag of coke, from front to back. 'E's got lots cornin' to 'im, dear, s As 'as that other greasy, smear (If'you'll hexcuse my 'eated slang) Who leads the nutty Nasty gang, An' may .they get. it pretty soon . » . What makes these silly.fat men croon? j» ■..■.■* ♦ ENGLAND'S QUEER INN-SIGNS. "Dorsetshire" (Miramar) sends us a list of unusual names of English pubs. Here are some examples. At Hereford there is an inn named No Five and another named No Ten. Originally they were numbered 5 and 10 Widemarsh Street. One of the most extraordinary of inn signs .must be that illustrating The Man with a Load of Mischief. It depicts a woman fastened to the back of a man by a "Wedlock" padlock, whilst in her hand she carries a bottle and a glass, on one of her shoulders is a monkey, and on the head of the monkey is perched a magpie. Odd indeed are the associations of and creatures widely different from each" other. There are, for instance, The Fox and Seven . Stars, The Goose and Gridiron, The Lamb and Dolphin, The Leg and Star, The Cat and Fiddle, The Brown Cow and Hare, and The Cock and Pie. The association of Goat and Kid, Bull and Butcher, Hen and Chickens, Sow and Pigs cannot but be regarded as fitting, but what can be said of the association of Bishop and Sweep, Whip and Egg, Cow and Snuffers, Lion and Lamb, and Baker and Brewer? Worst of a 11,.50 far as can be learned, is the associac tion of Swan and Cemetery! A nami which is very uncommon is The Triple Plea. The sign represents a sick man in bed, by the side of which stand-• a lawyer, and Old NickJ. -""-*'