POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVIII, Issue 142, 13 December 1939, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

We hope that the Government, will not get footsore taking those "active stops" to fill the half-empty second echelon. * * * By radio: Those who glorified God would li\> on; those who glorified Caesar would end as had Caesar. What a horrible death! ■x- * * Joan W.—The most valued Christmas gift, one guaranteed to bring tears of gratitude to the eyes of the recipient— an onion. * * ♦ What we personally object to in our Communists is that they want to paint the country red at other people's expense. * * • GO TO HELSINKI. Well, there is at least one optimist among" our confreres. Taking a broad survey of the outlook political, meteorological, financial, and international, he gave it as his firm conviction that the Russians were near the Finish. O MY KAI AM. * * * CLIMBING TO A CLIMAX. I remember a speech of one typical down-east Yankee. He delivered it between pauses, writes Irvin S. Cobb. testing each brief sentence before he uttered it: "Knew a feller oncT'at pizened hisself eatin' tainted salmon out of one of these here ti:> cans out of a store. Leastwise, they .said ez haow 'twul tainted." Pause. "Eatin' it didn't dew him no real good, ez you might say." Pause. "They figgered that eatin' it wuz enough, just by itself, to make him die." Pause. "Fact is, I don't know but whut he did- die," Long pause. "I wuz to the funeral." * * « INFORMATION DEPT. In reply to a telephone inquiry from Napier (Highland Fai'k): (1) It is probably the motor torpedo-boat of the K4O type. During the course of Admiralty trials this new type of twin-screw motor torpedo vessel returned a speed of 42.25 knots, or 52 land miles an hour, over a measured mile, This performance was carried out with 20 persons aboard—more than treble the normal complement, which is two officers and four men. (2) Germany's new rudderless ship, the Heligoland, completed her maiden voyage with 1600 passengers shortly before the outbreak of war. The vessel is steered as well as propelled by her screw. This invention enables her to turn in her own length. x * '.» ■ WHY "ECHELON"? Sir, —Can you tell me who was responsible for the use of the word "echelon"? As ah old soldier, it annoys me to hear this term used when describing a volunteer force. It causes laughter among other men, too. Why cannot they be referred to as "The Expeditionary Force," or some other simple and correct description? What will that fine soldier and hero, Briga-dier-General Freyberg, think when he finds that he is to command an echelon? I imagine that someone, not a soldier —and there are plenty of them in the present Government —thought that it was a fine-sounding word, like a few of the others that their members use. But it makes better-informed men laugh, so out with it. 1914 TO 1918 MAIN BODY. « * * A GERMAN IS ALWAYS A GERMAN. These verses are a reply to "Unnaturalisation." and are sent us by Professor Allen: A naturalised Briton—what folly is this? A fig for such humour and vapour. Ii Satan made fit for the regions of bliss m By signing a mere ;scrap of paper? When morals are lacking or honour is dead, Pray, what is the use of parole? A small bit of preaching may turn a man's head, But that does not alter his soul. A man who turns dog on the land of his birth Is not to be trusted for sure, An office-made pedigree—what is it • worth? Will it hold if the blood isn't pure? A wolf in sheep's clothing is mostly in luck, And easily comes in for a feed; A hen that is clucking may hatch, out a duck, But that does not alter the breed. Be kind to the' stranger that enters your gate, But this is the gist of my sermon:. It's no use to tinker and juggle with* fate— A German is always a German. He appears to be British and loyal, of course, While true to the land he was born - in, So don't put a cow-cover over a horsa And expect to get milk in the morning. * * # AMAZING PEOPLE. (A Second Samson.) We take this rather quaintly-worded account of an extraoi'dinary fellow from an old book:—Thomas Topham, born in London about 1710. and brought up to the trade of a carpenter, though by no means remarkable in size or outward appearance, was endowed by Nature with extraordinary muscular powers, and for several years exhibited wonderfuls feats of strength jn London and the provinces, The most authentic account of his performances was written by the celebrated William Hutton, who witnessed them at Derby, writes G. We learned, says Mr. Hutton, that Thomas Topham, a man who kept a public house at Islington, performed surprising feats of strength, such as .breaking a broomstick of the largest size by striking it against his bare arm, lifting three hogsheads of water, heaving his horse over a turnpike gate, carrying the beam of a house as a soldier does his firelock, and others of similar description. However belief might at first be staggered, all doubt was removed when this second Samson came to Derby, as a performer in public. The regular performances of this wonderful person, in whom was united the strength of twelve ordinary men, were such as the following:—Rolling up a pewter dish, seven pounds in weight, as a man would roll up a sheet of paper; holding a pewter quart at arm's length and squeezing the sides together like an egg shell; lifting two hundredweights on his little finger, and moving them gently over his head. The bodies he touched seem to have lost their quality of gravitation. He broke a rope that could sustain twenty hundredweight. He lifted an oaken table, six feet in length, with his teeth, though half a hundredweight was hung to its opposite extremity. Weakness and feeling seemed to have left, him altogether. He smashed a coconut by striking it against his o\vn ear; and he struck a round bar of Iron, ona inch in diameter, against his, naked arm, and at one blow "bent it into ■ semi-circle.