POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVIII, Issue 18, 21 July 1939, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Harihaha. —Why are muddy cars? —Because the faster they go tha splasher. , . ' * . •» ■» In the circumstances, "Danzigzaggers" seems more appropriate than "Danzigers." ■ ■ * ■' * • Moral re-armament sounds well, but what if the other fellow hasn?t any morals? * *■-;!• ■» An American authority says that New Zealand has an educational system to be proud of. "But has he heard some of our announcers and politicians at the "mike"? . ■ 4:- * •» TAKING THEMSELVES SERIOUSLY. In warning the New Zealand Rugby Union about the hard ground at Kimberley, our football friends in Christchurch consider they did "something worth while for New Zealand football.'* The old watering-the-pitch spirit! % A. QUID. . * * * SCRIPTURAL PRINCIPLE. •Dr. D. G. McMillan (Government): "When a man was building a housr he did not complete every room at once, but went from one to another." The Bible puts it better: Which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish • it? .•..-.• :\ '■'■"-.,'■ ■ Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, • all that behold him begin to mock him. ROSENEATH. IN DEFENCE OF LA JEUNESSE* Poor Bright Young Things, they need a shell „ _ ■'. Of armour to protect them well. Also, they may need toleration ' Who thus pretend sophistication, For in the nursery they 're taught That adults do the things they ought. But "coming-out," the poor dears find Their ideals must be left behind Before their youthful gaze unfurled ' This shallow, grasping, faithless world. They make no moan, but this I trow, They know their fathers made it so. Too soon they grow sophisticated, And wonder why they were created. MOCKING-BIRD. ■ * * * ■'. ■. '■ ■.• ■ ■ REQUEST. Dear Percy Flage,—Some years ago —no doubt you have forgotten—you ran your very first brain-teaser, and I think I was about your very first correspondent re same, It was about a' bootmaker selling a pair of boots, a £1 note, and a loan, etc. I do hope you can remember it, for I've* forgotten exactly how it goes and would like to hear it again. It was a good one, and may come new to lots of your readers. Would you mind putting it in. your column some time if you have any record of it? I think it was some time in 1936; my son, with a good memory, says March> • 1936. Thanking you in anticipation, Yours for a Faithful Reader, .'■'■. ' '■ ; "' r;E.P. -. . We remember it the better because it set half the town by the ears. It shall be resurrected, and reprinted,in the near future. : . . *' : ..* .. '■*';' -.." ■ ; BRAIN-TEASERS. Answers to last Saturday's problems. No. I.—lt cost 1/6. Nb; 2.—Hidden cars: Overland, Belsize, Auburn, Sunbeam, Napier, Crossley, " Vulcan,- Lagonda (or Oakland and Ansaldo). A -nice coincidence that Loadan should be capable of providing the names of three different cars. ' " . "■ ■ ■ '■"■■' ■'.•■■" .; I-'.'-' ',■'■ ■ Latest solutions, Nos. 1 and 2, from Gadget, Alice, M. P. Rean, T.W., Milo, Arsenic Arnold, sen., Stepdhit, and Dave. Ivor, K.M., Television, and Northland—No. 1 only. Tomorrow we shall garage the cars for the time being rind take you along a different line. That is to say, we shall ask you to turn your mind towards those men who have rendered the world invaluable service in some shape or form. There will also be an arithmetical No. 1, which will' not be quite so simple.a problem, as. that business of the watch chain. Thanks, Arsenic Arnold, sen., for those jumbled street names. -» ■» . ■ ■ * . SHOCK FROM SCHOPENHAUER. Wisdom, so long as it remains Mere midnight oil, a thing of brainy Whate'er its owner may suppose. Is like a pretty double rose: The eye its cqlour pleases well, And its perfume the sense of smell; But less 'than humble grass, or weed, It withers, and it leaves no seed. It He who is old as old can be, Two generations sees, or three. And left without a single tooth, Is like a schoolboy at a booth, Who sits on as the clock tick-ticks, ~ ' And looks on at the conjuror's tricks, And, seeing the same performance twice, Sits on, and on, and sees it thrice. B.S. • India ♦ » * WHO WAS RIGHT? This is an old-timer revived for us by J.M. (Lower Hutt): How many apples did Eve and Adam eat? The old version says: Eve 8 and Adam 2, total 10. This is what certain American newspapers have to say about it:—Nebraska "Herald": Eve 8 and Adam 8, total 16. Mississippi "Gazette": We don't see this; Eve 8 and Adam 82, total 90. New York "Screamer": Our contemporary is entirely wrong. Eve 81 arid Adam 812, total 893. Ohio "Advertiser" says: We reason like this: Eve 814 herself and Adam 8124 Eve, total 8938. Illinois "Telegraph" again: Eve 8142 know now it tasted, and Adam 28142 see what it might be like, total 36284. Piet Retief "Advertiser" says: Eve 81418 apples tokeep fit, and Adam. 281418 apples because there were no doctors there, total 362,836, but the local doctor says Eve 814181 apparently to keep fit, and Adam 2814181 apple a day to keep the doctor away. Total, 3,628,362. The Swaziland "Times" says Eve 8141812 see whether one could keep the doctor away, and Adam 81241812 do likewise, total 89,383,624. . I've doubted several times recently (comments J.M.) whether New Zealand really is God's Own Country, and now I wonder more than ever. For the Year Book tells me New Zealand produced only a paltry 21 million bushels of apples last year—not enough for Adam and Eve to keep the doctor away. (There was no Social Security then.) This is how I argued it out: Eve 81418142 keep the doctor away, and Adam 812418142 avoid domestic friction, making their joint total requirements 893,836,284. So it looks as if New Zealand's Minister of Health can't afford to.fall out with the B.M.A. until our pomaceous harvest is considerably increased. P.S.—Your column and the Women's Page are all I look at nowadays; there's nothing funny in the cable or political news, and I hate pains in th« neck. J.M