POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVIII, Issue 12, 14 July 1939, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

If the Opposition Leader's collection of votes of confidence were placed end to end few people would be the wiser. ■» * * j There is a German saying which, runs: Hitler is God's answer to Versailles —now we wait for God's answer to Hitler. * # * The. Italian Foreign Secretary was warmly welcomed in San Sebastian on. his trip to present a bill of £30,000,000 to Franco for war services rendered. 'But debt collectors are always assured of a warm reception, anyhow. * * 4:" i A HITLER EPITAPH. I Dear P.,—The day will come when Hitler's epitaph will have to be written. How would this meet the occasion? Here lies the Fuhrer Adolf Hitler, Than his pledged faith none could be brittler; He gave his word, resolved to break it, -■.■■ And kept it when no man would talc* it. R.J.P ♦ ■ ♦ • COURT SHORTS (English brand). When my wife says I ruined our daughter's engagement, she mean 3 that I told the young man that our daughter took after her mother. I saw him reading the newspaper, and crying. I thought he was drunk, and asked what th,e matter was. He said: "Another marriage has been arranged." I told him my brother's eldest son was engaged to be married. He said: "Poor boy! so young." ■ When I saw my wife had the dictionary again I knew I was in for something. I was too ill to go to work on the Wednesday, but on Thursday my wife said I felt much better. ,* * * BRAIN-TEASERS. Official solutions of last Saturday* problems: No.' I.—Those professional mea walked the pavement thus: Thompson (pianist), Brewsjer (doctor), Jones (architect), Harvey (lawyer), Babestoa (engineer), and Fish. (autnoi'J. • No. 2.—Whiting, Koura, Bioater, Mullet, Warehct*, > Sturgeon, Snapper, Gurnet. Several clients made warehou toheroa, but the latter is a shellfish. "Koura" is the Maori word for crayfish. One or two solvers questioned the spelling of snapper. It used to be "schnapper" in our young Australian days—why, we haven't any idea. Today the "eh" is dropped, which is how it ought to be. Late solutions from T. I. Roe (No. 1), Rita (No. 1), P.T., Newtownian, Admirer (No. 2), and Polly Flinders (No. 1). Another brace of teasers tomorrow; # * - * INTIMATION. Tika looked ap his reference books to find the origin of that saying: spare the rod and spoil the child. It came from the pen of that temperamentalist, Samuel Butler, who wrote in "Hudibras" — Love is a boy by poets styled, Then spare the rod and spoil the child. So now you know. F. (E.B.).—Thank you for that note. It reached us after our nonsensical commentary had gone to the printer. AIL square now. M.J.M.-^-The w.p.b. drew it down when we weren't looking—a better fate next time. Mocking Bird.—But we are hot ignoring your.'lovely poems." Send us one of your best and see what happens. Belladonna.—Welcome back from the countryside. That "tall story" is overlong for this column. Guillotine it down to, say, 200 words, which won't hurt it, anyway. 303.—Wi1l publish. Thanks for that tribute, which will take a lot of living up to. : "Rebilion."— Unfortunately, your note was too late to make the column* * * * ■ ■ INS AND OUTS. , . - Dr. F. Temple Cliye has been lecturing girls on spending their earning! on make-up- instead of food* and warns them that unnecessary luxuries in place of a good square meal are a danger to health. For eggs and milk, They give no pin, But wear their silk On calf and shin; While doctors din That health is gone. Instead of in They put it on. From beauty's box Their bloom they don, They perm their locks And munch a scone, Their cheeks are wan, Their figures thin, They put it on Instead of in. They need more verve And vitamin Whose pennies serve Their lip and skin; Nose, cheek, and Chin Must be bon-ton— Instead of in They put it on. The ads they scan, The columns con, For some new plan To try upon Some mother's son— And will they win, Who put it on Instead of in? TOMFOOL. (Borrowed for us from a Londott Sunday newspaper by "Reynolds.") -::- «• * "FOOTBALL" MATCH. A strange "football" match is played in accordance with " a centuries-old custom at Hallaton, near Market Harborough (Leicestershire), on Easter Monday. Two wooden, iron-bound kegs, each filled with nine pints of beer, take the place of a football. The goals are two boundary ditches, and the teams consist of as many villagers from Hallaton and neighbouring Melbourne as care to join. The ceremonies begin with a service in Halla* ton Church, after which the teams march behind a band to the main door of Hallaton Rectory. Here a "hare pie," about 2ft square, is cut up by the rector, and the two beer kegs, filled with good strong liquor are •carried out. Both pie and beer are provided by the rector. The teams scramble for the pie, and when it is eaten or otherwise destroyed, the "game" begins. Each ■ team struggles to kick the kegs into one or other of the ditches. The game continues until a goal has been scored. It may last several hours. Teams and villagers meet at the old Market Cross after the game and drink the beer. The first drink goes to the goal-scorer, who climbs to the top ->£ the cross and drinks as much-as he can without falling off.