POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVII, Issue 126, 31 May 1939, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

6V PERCY FLAGE-

At least Richard Crooks is better ofl: than that, lad Tucker, who, it is reported, had to sing for his supper. ■It is understood that even the touch of imported* Japanese onions never fails to bring tears to the eyes of Chinese fruiterers. It 'wouldn't at all surprise us if the axis nations came to the conclusion that a long peace suited them better than a long war. » •:* * The Japanese claim to have captured 215,000 rifles, .330 heavy guns, and 11,000 machine-guns. But how many of those broad-blnded short1 swords? w •;:• •» OUCH! When Kirchmeyer R. applies tha python, He has the other feller writhon. BLOGDEN SMASH. -:> v> « QUITE USED TO IT. Standing room only was available in the first after-six tram on a recent evening. The car gave a lurch and resulted in the usual roll of the straphangers. One passenger was profuse in his apologies for standing on another's feet. "Oh, don't worry about that," answered the sufferer sarcastically, "I stand on them quite a lot myself." MOJO. » « •» HEREDITY COUNTS MOST. Dear Mr. Flage,—The statement by Dr. W. R. B. Oliver as an educationist that "heredity counted for more than environment" means that the inherited strain counts more than the acquired "educated" strain. Good government therefore can come only through the man with the kink of heredity for doing right or the giving to every person his natural due. Yours truly.— GOOD MEASURE. * « * TEN COMMANDMENTS. Abe Jenkins, the famous American record-breaking driver, has, like many of us, been pondering on ways to reduce the number of accidents occurring on the road. Now, as his contribution towards greater road safety, v he has drawn up ten commandments for motorists. Here they are:— '. 1. Be master of your car at all times. [ 2. Be alert. 3. Keep on your own side of the road. ]' 4. Don't cut in. 5. Don't try to pass when your vision. is obscured. 6. Keep your head in an emergency. 7. If you've been drinking, keep out of an automobile. 8. Don't speed in heavy,. traffic. 9. Be courteous to other drivers and give them a break. * 10. Keep your car mechanically per.feet. " Mr. Jenkins himself is said to have driven over 2,000,000 miles without any accident. So his "commandments" ought to be valuable. -:;- a » BRAIN-TEASERS. .And still they come —these solutions. "Scruffy," "Quaere," S.W. (Khandallah). Telemath, X.8., Nelson, M.W., "First Time In," and Mornington take both honours. Other solvers were The Black Moth, "with a headache" (No. 1), First Shot, No. 2 has him beaten (No. 1), J.W.B. (No. 1), . Joynt (No. 2), V. and F. (No. 2), Kel- ' burn Reader (No. 1), Pop-eye (No. 1), ' L.M. (No. 2), Jay S., and from Wanga- ', nui, Dox (No. 1). Nelson (Eastbourne) ! writes: I have nothing much to do ! now but to wait until next Saturday. ' (Lucky man!) Dox comments: This > is my debut in Col. 8, which is the \ first (or nearly always the first) to be ! read in our household. Great stuff. : In reply to M.W.: All the initial letters are missing by design. Shall try to dig up some particulars relating to ■ the American social security scheme. • V.C.: Ail those O's (in the fourth bird ■ name) reminded me of a town in Australia. It is called 'Orooroo, and means the "wind and the dust." Morn- \ ington suggests that later on we should ■ collect our teasers and have them • printed for circulation at so much a head. It's an idea worth thinking over. "Quaere" explains: The last bird ; dropped at 8.30 a.m. today (May 28). I brought it down —it was "bittern '■ incidentally—during the intervals of . stirring the morning porridge. Well, this is enough for the tune , being. * * * ECONOMY. I've thought of a use for your number plate, . When the year is up and too out or date. You'll find that a motorist on his way Saves the life of a jay-walker every day. - ' . ••- He is blamed for each accident in the street, ' : By traffic officers on their beat, But no one observes, the number he saves, As he strains at his brakes and then sits and raves. Why shouldn't a medal be cast from those plates To give to the driver who's cheated the fates Of those pedestrians who will step out From the edge of the kerb without looking about? But tho' those old number plates simply abound, - I doubt if there'd be enough to go round. WASTE NOT, WANT NOT. * « o "FEED THE BRUTE!" Dear Flage,—lt may be true that "the hand that roc!;:? the cradle rules the world," although the alacrity with which the domestic world of "His Majesty the Baby" rushes to attend to hi;; every whim, want, ache, or pain, tends to throw some doubt upon the' assertion. Biit there can be no doubt about the efficacy of the advice tendered to appease a*nd still hold him ' in subjection when he has. long since, discarded his swaddling clothsi and joined the vast bat'slions of those coming ..under the category of "mere man"—advice which ro succinctly expressed in the word?., "feed the brute." So when my_ regular, usually bright and smiling waitress creeled me —not with a smile, but with. '"I am leaving here next week!"' gloom took possession of me. Although I facetiously remarked that I .would "go into mourning and wear crepo upon my sleeve," nevertheless, qualms were manifest in' the region where the soup is wont to find its unfailing way— unless a "rough passage" causes it to be tilted down one's back. But although .waitresses raoy come and waitresses may go. hunger goes on for ever. What can be done about it? Very little! Let us endeavour to render unto them some meed of'praise by paraphrasing the nll-embr^cing challenge^ "Woman! What would we do without her?" into a particular '"toast" (unbuttered) of, "To waitresses! How much thinner and miserable would the coy bachelors become without them?" G.F.