POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVII, Issue 110, 12 May 1939, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Unlike the Beautifying Society, the Government no longer protests against hoardings—the hoardings of the thrifty. * * • Anyway, the change from Molesworth Street to Northland should give Mr. Savage a totally different view on many things. » #. # Of 2500 delegates at a women's conference in London, 2439 voted in favour of the retention of flogging for certain offences. "Catty," as usual. » » * News heading— SECURITY TALKS WITH RUSSIA. We wish it would have a yarn with Mr. Savage, too. « . * * COINCIDENCE. Dearest Flage,—lt is a strange coincidence that I was told that Mr. Nash on his previous trip went Home toteach his grandma to suck eggs, and this time they say: "The chickens are gone Home to roost." Yours with best wishes, JACOBIL AND GEOFF. * * * ANSWER, PLEASE. Percy Flage,—We know of duck and drake, of cock and hen,, and of goose and gander, but what about the male or female name for "swan? Shall watch your for reply, as all hands here "have a headache thinking what it should be. Yours faithfully, x___j.tS« „ Carterton. That's a nice one. Come on, yor Postscripters.-—P.F. * '. ' * * WHERE MOST GO. Two departed spirits met, one from heaven and one from the, other place, and they started comparing notes as to the relative merits of their abodes. The former complained that'he-had a very strenuous time, everlastingly cleaning crowns or attending choir practices. "Ah!" said the one from nether regions, "we are much better off: all we have to do is to put in two hours stoking every day. But then, you see, our population is much larger than yours and there are more of us to share the work." Henry! ■*.■■» * STATE CONTROL OR BIRTH CONTROL? Social Security (Maternity Benefits) regulation No. 18 (d) reads:—"lt shall be the duty of every woman claiming maternity benefits not to 'make any unreasonable demands upon his (the doctor's) professional services, and in particular (except in a case of emergency) not to summon the medical practitioner to visit her between the hqurs of 6 p.m. of any day and 8 a.m. of the following day; nor on any Saturday after 12 o'clock noon; nor on any Sunday or 'public holiday." Now ladies,; do your duty and remember that a babe is, in future, to be treated like a promissory note. There is one thing about a P.N. You CAN make it become due on a given date. C.A;P. '..'■ -*... .j.. * * ~.;* '■'.-■■■■ --BRAIN-TEASERS:' • ! - . DEPARTMENT OF BALLYHOO, COMMONWEALTH OF BULLSWOOI. To Percy Flage,—-In the matter of the brain-teaser (hereinafter referred to as the 8.T.), published in your column on the evening of • Saturday, the sixth day of May, in the year of our Lord 1939, take notice that I, the undersigned, have duly solved- the B.T. and herewith include the afore-mentioned solution. To wit, In the case of the consumed- cheese: Judgment for two (2) ounces. In the case of the five words unaccounted for: After due deliberation it was presumed that the words referred to were (a) CORTES, (b) SECTOR, (c) ESCORT, (d) CORSET, (c) COSTER. Given under my hand the seventh day of May in the year of our Lord, 1939 CHIEF PITA OF BOLONEY. . Thus C.P.0.8. saved us some troubleSolutions from Ben Shomett (Upper Hutt), Joynt (No. 2), V.B. (No. 2), Billo (Nos. 1 and 2), W.S. (No. 2), Alice (Nos. 1 and 2), M.E.T. (No. 2), Kelburn Reader (No. 2 . . . that is a slang word), M.W. (No. 2) Blotto (Nos. 1 and 2), ahd J.M.'(Nos, 1 and 2). And there's always a tomorrow. * '-. * * PARODY. We borrowed this rhyme from one who likes this sort of thing—as we do:— Under the sign of "Coach and Three1" The village barmaid stands. The maid, a comely wench is she. With white and well-kept hands, And the sleeves around her dainty arms ' Are tied with ribbon bands. Meek in ■ her looks behind the bar, Her voice is far from frail. You can hear her sing, "One light, one mild!" While measuring out the ale, And then her ringing: "Time, gent* please!" When the evening sun grows pale. Thanks, thanks to thee, my worthy friend, • - For the lesson thou hast taught. *•■•,-■ How at the public bar of life Our pleasures must be sought; Ours to determine if the price Is worth the joy we bought. * • » BORN IN HIM. Dear Percy Flage,—l visited Paraparaumu yesterday, and on arriving at Lambton Station I decided to take another car, of the variety known as "tram," on the last lap of the journey. And thereby hangs an amusing incident which I thought might interest you. At Perrett's corner three men entered the compartment armed with, some parcels, "Sports Posts," and Scottish accents. At Courtenay Place there entered a mother with a baby of about 15 months and sat near them. Presently the tired little chap became restless, and with the intention ■ of : amusing him, one of the men passed him a piece of his "Sports Post. His majesty accepted this with a lordly air glanced at it disdainfully, and dropped it on the floor. Another member of the trio promptly offered him a piece of his paper—with the same result. The third man, however, had a brighter idea, and produced a penny which he held out to the. baby who seized it and examined it carefully. After a few minutes the donor, thinking to amuse the child further, held ' out his hand and said: "Ta." His Majesty looked at him haughtily, but. clung "to the penny. The generous Scot then produced a threepenny bit . and offered this to him. He also seized this in his little hand, examined it carefully, and hung on to it tightly. ; Can, you enlighten me as to the nationality of the baby? Or was thus ■ a case of the Scot being scotched? POLLY FLYNN (DERS).