POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVII, Issue 59, 11 March 1939, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FIAG6

Britain's air expenditure is approdbhing the dizzy limit. • # # Personally we think that the building of a nation should begin at home. • # * Mr. Savage may not be holding anything up, but he is undoubtedly holding a lot of us taxpayers down. • * * You have been misled, my Melisande: Gossamers are not people who gossip about each other. • • • FATALISM. If Joe does change the money system, Who will be able to resystem? BOGDEN SMASH. - • • ♦ HERE'S TO LAUGH. A doctor and a clergyman of the same name lived in the same road. Just as the doctor got a post in Africa, the clergyman died. On reaching his destination, the doctor sent a cable to his wife, but it was delivered to the clergyman's widow in mistake. The cable read as follows: —"Al* rived safely. Heat terrific." • • • NOTA BENE. News headings: WARNING TO FARMERS. FACIAL ECZEMA. DANGER FROM NEW GROWTH. After this warning (comment! M.W.J.), they've only themselves to blame if neglect of the daily shave causes skin troubles. Even if they can't afford the latest electric shaver, they can always keep the new growth down with a shearing machine. • • • ■ INJUSTICE PERPETUATED. . Dear P.F., —With reference to the par going the rounds of the Press, wherein the chairman of the Harbour Board, Bluff, expresses disapproval of an. old illustration of the town and harbour having appeared recently in northern papers; some years ago at a railway station in Southland I saw a large panel advertising somebody's sheep dip. In the foreground stood a stately merino, while in the background was pictured the Bluff Hill, and at the foot of the hill were several streaks, etc., representing shipping at the port. Alongside a wag had written, "Thi3 is where N (local artist) spilled the paint-pot, but it stands for the BlufJ just the same." *- ♦ * BRAIN-TEASERS. Here's one for our mathematicallyminded clients. "Phil O'Math" found it in a magazine devoted to science, and passed it on. Thus — A man received a cheque for a certain number of dollars and a certain, number of cents not to exceed 109 dollars. The teller paid him dollars for cents and cents for .dollars shown on the cheque. He spent 3 dollars and then found he had still three times the amount of money called for by the cheque. For what amount was the cheque written? R.JJW., one of our regulars, sends this one . ..J he calls it an ''old .mathematical curiosity." Posfecripters'liava already had some experience with this sort of teaser. HAMILTON MT 01801801 MOBMOBMO : iin ii in Now off you go. * - »■■ • SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that 1. When the Bible was translated in. Eskimo language the expression "baby seal" was substituted in, every place where the word "lamb" appeared? - 2. Eggs of many humming birds ara so tiny that, newly hatched, the youngster is no larger than a honey bee? 3. A reputed reliable test for detecting gas leaks is found in the fact that tomato plants grow downwards in the presence of gas? 4. Coconut shells filled with explosives were used as bombs in a Hawaiian revolution? / 5. Since, according to law, each French village must provide educational facilities regardless of the number of students in the district, there are 26 public schools in France today with but one pupil each? 6. Only a few hundred years ago the word "idiot" was employed to designate a "private citizen"? 7. Edgar Allan Poe was court-mar-tialled and expelled from West Point because he wrote poetry when he ought to have been drilling with a gun? 8. During several centuries of • the Christian era there existed a widespread belief that the planets, the moon, and the stars were carried about by angels? 9. In each square yard of garden soil there are approximately eleven earthworms? '■-; 10. Believing that coal smoke poisoned the air, many people in England six hundred years ago avoided food cooked over a coal fire? * * * MY DELIGHT AND THY DELIGHT. My delight and thy delight' Walking, like two angels white, In the gardens of the night: My desire and thy desire Twining to a. tongue of fire, Leaping live, and laughing higher, Through the everlasting strife In the mystery of life. j Love, from whom. the world begun, ! Hath the secret of the sun. * Love can tell, and love alone, Whence the million stars were strewn^ Why each atoni' knows its own, ■ How, in spite of woe and death, Gay is life, and sweet is breath. This he taught us, this we knew, Happy in his science true, Hand in hand as we stood 'Neath the shadows of the woodj Heart to heart as we layIn the dawning of the day. —Robert Bridges * * * STRANGE WORLD. The gambling chips used at the Monte Carlo Casino- are made "somewhere in Germany" by a process as secret as the manufacture of United States money—in order to make difficult faked imitation chips being played at the roulette tables. The most profitable railroad in the world is reputedly that from S. . "aulo to the port' of Santos (Brazil), only about 40 miles long, through which pass 75 per cent, of the world production of coffee. Thi* railroad has distributed fabulous dividends for the past 60 years to its fortunate English shareholders. A farmyard xooster was tried— ln Basle, Switzerland, in 1474—0u the charge of having laid an" egg. The defence claimed that the laying of the egg had been an involuntary act an<4 as such should not be punished by lav/. - The cock was condemned, however, and was burned at the stake, not m a cock, but as a sorcerer in disguise.