POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVI, Issue 80, 1 October 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Everything may not be- quite all right now| but it's near enough for the present. *» . » It may be assumed that the Nationalist furniture for newly-weds will not include twin beds. - * * * Though Europe is not yet out oi the wood at least she is no longer up a tree. * *.'■■* P.H.—ln the course of his Dunedin speech the Prime Minister emphasised the fact that he knew exactly how much it cost to raise a child. My! My! and he a bachelor. * . ♦ ' ■•* '.. X.—This morning Henare asked: "What te purry row about Scrim at Tirau?" , Told him they just "Putaruru" to his little game of Two-up on the platform. * *." i* INTERROGATION. Is it true that a McLagan Pilots Labour's pink band-wagonf * * * WHAT ABOUT YPRES? One reason for not having a war over Czechoslovakia is that nine out of ten people cannot speU it correctly at the first shot let alone pronounce it Anyhow, how did we of the 1914-H vintage pronounce Przemysl? • ' KEN. ■:• ' - *. , * ': *"- HERE'S THE AUTHOR. Some time ago Argyle quoted a verse and asked for the name of the author. The poet -jvas Joaquin Miller. This information was supplied by a Lower Hutt resident, "who greatly enjoys Column 8," and another reader—her signature initials we are unable to decipher—who adds that the lines appeared in "More Heart Throbs" a book compiled by the editors of the "National Magazine," which was published by Grosset and Dunlop, New York. #,»•■• BOUTS RIMES. Well, here's one which we feel will be much to your liking, it being exceedingly topical Neville stands for the British Prime Minister, and Mars, as you will know, is a god who. simply can't bear the sight of doves or budgerigars or birds of paradise. Hen you are: _„ ..«.„«^».— — Neville .«.,♦....*.*.-•—. stars ..».*..»••*»•-••«*« devil ....*••••.•-.••-•-*•« Mars «•*»«**..♦.. tension „.„..*—«•« perplex ....~~«~. dissension Czechs.' Here's to a happier weekend. * • * BRAIN TEASER. Now that the war clouds over Central Europe have been dissipated we are able to concentrate once again on .things of the flesh. (Sorry: for "flesh," read "mind.") Ogee spins a lance against "Pomb" and Spen vrith. tins multiplication sum:— PERCY FLAGS, A R Fbi E CFA CA , LERY BBS PERCY E FE L LP u ri A E F V C!Y.=B_3BAiT R - For a start: E equals 2. P.S.—You'll forgive me, we hope, for thus starring ourself, but that Foiuv Power Agreement has given us a gran> deur complex. On with the dancel * ■'..■■*-.,.'■. » i SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that: —. ,' . (1) Some lobsters are thirty years old, twenty inches In length, and weigh 331b before they are accounted edible? (2) The hair in the camel's/ hair brushes which artists use comes from a tender little tuft found inside a steer's ear? (3) If two sprouts of violets were growing in the same flower-pot, and . one was torn out the other would languish and die? / (4) Among the poorer classes of Tibet men who cannot afford to keep a wife often share her with their brothers so that the do-wry Will remain in the family"? , x. (5) In future the trousers of British schoolboys will be made without pockets, in accordance with an ( edict of the British Minister of Education? (6) A German manufacturer, spurred by the Reich's shortage of lead and aluminium, is making toothpastetubes out of a mixture of spun glass and artificial silk? (7) When a little over 20 years ago, the first motor self-starter was placed on the market, it was ridiculed as an impracticable luxury, for the cost at the time was £70? (8) Pencils from Manchester were sold in Bombay at 8d a dozen, but Japan, cut with equal quality, at one penny a dozen? (9) The ground rents in Regent Street, London, are now £520,000,000 a year, whereas before the war. they were £44,000,000?? (10) Several years ago, the Maya* of Paulsboro, New Jersey, presented a rolling pin to every bride getting married in his town and a can-opener to every bridegroom? * * * SHIPS THAT PASS. (This poem was asked for by Mr*. John G.) From Fantasy's bright isles Careening galleys stream; Hope waits through weary whiles*— But no long-oared trireme . - Filled full with precious freight, Anchors, where, desolate, She waits her ship of dream. Though she may call and cry They will not pause or stay— Wind-fresh, they thunder by, Grow dim, and drive away To quiet seas that lave With faint and restless wave A twilight land of grey. She sees with wistful eyes Great barques blow gallantly From where the fading skies Bend do-wn to kiss the seaSurging they come, and pass, But none draw in, alas! Towards her weedy quay. To lands of legendry The brave ships make their wejr» In grave futility Hope watches night and day For ships that come not in . . . With face and pulse groAvn thin She only waits to pray. DICK HARRIS ■•'.'• • BEDSIDE MANNERS. Dr. A. J. Cronin, author of muchdiscussed books, tells a good story. He • learned early in his career, he said, how to charge patients. His old Scottish professor, when pupils had graduated, would call them in, lecture them, in slow, broad Scots, on an unusual aspect of bedside manners. "When ye gang to see a patient, gang straight ower an' tak' his pulse. An' when ye Itak' it, look at the carpet an' see il it's quid. An' look at the curtains an*. think hoo much they cost An' look \ at the counterpane an*..see if ifs eae* paynsive. An' be the. .time ye*!* /through yell ken hoo much to charge,*