PARENTS' PROBLEM

Evening Post, Volume CXXV, Issue 115, 18 May 1938, Page 19

PARENTS' PROBLEM

CHILDREN'S QUARRELS

"I suppose that children of the same family are bound to quarrel sometimes," said Ruth, "Clara and Bobbie have been such good playmates up to the present, but nowadays they are always fighting. My problem is: Should I interfere or should I leave them alone to settle their own differences." It is often necessary for the' general peace that adults do interfere, but in many instances well-meant interference, unless it really helps to remove the cause of the quarrelling, may only serve to make matters worse, writes Nora Hall in the Sydney "Sun." Quarrelling among the children of one family is not, in itself, a calamity. It must be recognised that a certain amount is not only inevitable, but quite harmless. Children of different ages have different interests, and in the limited scope of the home fights will occur where these interests clash.

It is a healthy attitude to life that each displays when he or she stands out for rights, resents interference of

the other, and. endeavours' to'assert opinion or leadership. , It is an unhealthy attitude, however, when jealousy, suspicion, or constant irritation are'displayed, and before trying to restore peace a parent will be wise to investigate the state of affairs—especially if quarrels are of frequent occurrence. Probably jealousy is the cause of more friction between children of a /amily than any. other single factor, for they must share not only their time and playthings, but, more important, the notice and affection of parents. It is generally unwise for a parent to entef upon the scene of the quarrel in the capacity of judge to try to settle arbitrarily the point at issue. Judgment one way or another is likely to be construed as favouritism. The interference of parents should be in regard to those elements of the situation which affect the children, but , which the children themselves cannot control. They can, for instance, see that every member of the family has sufficient , scope for his individual interests, as well as those which are held in common, and they can help to provide each with companionship of his or her own age. I In addition, they : should guard against the. formation of unpleasant ! psychological undercurrents due to ; jealousy and feelings of, inferiority, i which might easily be aroused by their own attitude to one or other of the children. ' Finally, without interfering too open- : ly, they can, by lending a sympathetic I and understanding ear, help to smooth , over the difficulties and guide the , young combatants'to a satisfactory settlement.