POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXV, Issue 48, 26 February 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Now look out for the national super* annuation scream! » # * The ins and outs of New Zealand politics: The Labourites and the Nationalists. * * * "State Advances."-—"Anthony Eden's resigned!" "Gee! What floor does he work on?" •• • - They have a tipple over in the land of "recessions" called "white' mule." It is said you get a great kick out of it. * * • News note:—"An unusual pledge of betrothal exists in the Belgian Congo, where the ceremony consists in the giving of a fowl to the mother of a girl." Giving ma-in-law the "bird." «■ «• * VERY MIXED METAPHOR. How is this for a mixed metaphor?, Addressing a boys' school on "Life," the speaker wound up with this peroration:—"Never to forget that the ladder of success is paved with slippery stones, on which only the clear head and the firm hand can retain their foothold." F.W.F. • » • CAN YOU BEAT IT? Dear Flage,—How does the follovN ing fit in:-— In the early days of the Manawatu a number of bullocks were stolen from an outback farm, driven to and sold at sale yards in a distant locality. Stolen again by the same thief from the-pur-chaser, and returned to the original owner, who, in susequent proceedings swore an oath that the cattle had never been out of his paddocks. PARA PARA UMU. # * * BRAIN-TEASER. This one is borrowed from Hubert Phillips, a well-known (in London) wracker of other people's brains. Mr. Flickers, the film magnate, ha* a lawn which is the envy of all beholders. In shape it is a perfect circle, 200 yards in diameter. From north to south through its centre there runs a gravel path. In the middle of the path, and fifty yards from the southernmost point of the lawn, there-stands a statue of Cupid. From Cupid's statue a path runs due west, as far as the circumference of the lawn, and from this point, where the path meets the circumference, another path runs, due north. Fifty yards along this path is to be found a statue of Psyche. How far is it, in a straight line, between Cupid's statue and Psyche's? * * ■■ ■» SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that 1. According, to the British Ministry of Health, a woman requires only 0.83 of the food necessary for a man? 2. Traffic control of light signals was first tried in New York in 1918, the lights being turned on and off by policemen working levers? 3. In the private schools of China _ teacher is paid about one halfpenny a day for each. J pupil he,instructs? 4. The most costly tomb in existence is that which was erected to the memory of Mohammed? The diamonds and rubies used in the decoration are valued at £2,000,000. 5. The longest telegram ever sent to a newspaper to be set up as news was the entire Revised Version of the New Testament; which was wired from New York to the "Chicago Tribune" for the issue of May 22, 1882?

6. The first auction sale in England was held in 1700 by Elihu Yale, who brought back more goods than he had room for. from the East Indies?

7. Over £60,000 worth of buggy whips were sold in the United States in 1935?

8. The largest farming city in the world is Los Angeles, which has over 50,000 cows registered in the metropolitan area? 9. In the Kalahari desert, South Africa, ostrich eggs are used as water bottles, but what they use for water, who knows? 10. The ovum of a whale is only twice as big as that of a mouse? # * * THE PINE TREES PASS FROM ST. JOHN'S HILL. In 1930, Miss E. M. North, the new principal of the Wellington Girls' College, published a slim volume of verse. This poem was included in the collection: Tall on the crest the pine trees stood, And hailed the high winds passing by, And proudly claimed the brotherhood Of earth, and tree, and hill, and sky. And dwellers in the plain below An everlasting joy might find In stretching top and waving bougl Familiar in the sky outlined. The early morning colours clean Defined their edges straight and? cold; And bright against the pines' darter green Most richly burned the midday gold.. Through branches low the sunset: gleamed, In flame and purple fading soon. Till each shape to my fancy seemed ; A fretwork fire against the moon. -

Those steadfast pines so bravely set Have brought the fairest thoughts' t# me.

Their keen, asserting silhouette Inspired ethereal purity. For aspirations grandly rise; Ambitions soar to that rare heightHorizons limn before our eyes Some prospects of the infinite.

The line of pines is broken now And horrid gashes mark the hill. By shattered trunk, and stricken bough, The wandering winds go lonely stiU Bereft, I mourn those gracious trees, To sense and soul a double gain, And of these two-fold ecstasies, These thoughts alone to me remain. • * • OLD-TIME DONNYBROOK. Dear Flage,—Round about 1847 the. "New York Herald" published the foli lowing:— "Fight at the Dutch Church in New York. This edifice, devoted to the dissemination of religious tenets, was the scene of the most disgraceful riots, rows, and fisticuffs, on Sunday last, that ever graced a groggery. It appears that the congregation are divided—some wish all the preaching, pray ing, and singing to be done in» 2_.t:'r alone; others wisn Dutch __» the' noon and English in the afternoon. Some want the present minister, an_ others want a new one; and as the church owns about 200,000 dollars' worth of property, some want the handling of it, and others want to do ditto. The fight came off in the forenoon; and the way the teacher, the deacons, the laymen, and laywomen were laid out to dry was a caution to all those who never mixed in a street knock-down and drag-out. Bloody noses, ragged coats, split pantaloons, smashed bonnets, ; torn frocks, ■ and black eyes were as plentiful as blackberries."

ANTIMACASSAR