POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXV, Issue 36, 12 February 1938, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE v

As old-fashioned as elastic-sided boots. 4* * ■ ♦ It rather serves China right. Wasn't it she who invented civilisation? • # » "Suss": My pet peeve.is the employer who asks applicants for a job to state ■ salary. • # • "Shanks's Pony": How is it that so [ many people ride the high horse when ; they own a motor-car? ; * * * \ Add to the list of generous Scots: Tarn, who always gave credit where ' credit was due. . ' * * * '■.'.'!.'' With all the fertile soil in the counf try (says someone) it's strange that i rural gals go to the big cities to sow 1 their wild oats. 1 ■•'••.'■ I An English visitor to the Antipodes, on his return home, comments in a . Sunday weekly: "Australians are incorw . rigible gamblers." Hence the name Horsetralia. ;#. ♦ * \ ■ COMPLETE ANSWER. t The argument was about football, j and the respective merits of the teams of All Blacks that have visited overi seas were under discussion. With an j exasperated tone in his voice one con- , testant asked: "Well, what was' the i best team to leave New Zealand?" ! Before the opposing party had a a chance to reply, one member of the group who had been paying more at--1 tention to his handle of beer than to . the discussion blew the, argument . completely out of the ;bar when ha t chipped in in a deep and ssrious =. voice: "The Springboks!" I DIGBY. >'*' " * * t OLD IDENTITIES. i I remember Crossey who. blacked c shoes about 40 years ago. His stand - was in Customhouse Quay opposite the i Bank of New Zealand, and sometimes s outside the Colonial Mutual Buildings, i He used to say very confidentially, ;- "I'm Alf. Crossey's brother, keep it s dark," and then yell "SHINE 'em up." s Alf. Crossey was the licensee of, I c think, Barrett's Hotel. Here's another a to go on with: Murrumbidgee, of Wila lis Street fame, last seen about two a years ago in Courtenay Place, a visitor/ c from Poverty Bay, but prosperous and 1 unmistakable. AN OLD NONENTITY. B •' # * * ■ t BRAIN TEASER. * "Yorkey" sends this one:— Another brain teaser, with three moving objects. A horseman, a r cyclist, and a motorist are on the road. t The cyclist is 20 miles behind the i horseman, and the motorist is 30 miles , behind the cyclist. If the horseman j travelled at 10 m.p.h., the cyclist at 20 m.p.h., and the motorist at 40 m.p.h., f how long would it take (1) before the t cyclist was midway between the horse- \ man and the motorist, (2) how long [ after that position before the motorist ' was midway between the horseman i and the cyclist, (3) how long after that ', before the horseman was between the \ motorist and the cyclist? • * ♦ ■ SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that— 1. The words "boy" and "girl" were first recorded about the year 1300, and have become general only in comparatively recent times? 2 Train oil is not so called because it is used to lubricate trains; it a whale oil, and was called "tran" by Scandinavian fishers? 3. The first day of a century can never fall on Sunday, Wednesday, or Friday? (Please don't ask us why.) 4. The real glory of Zeppelin travel is its freedom from seasickness, as there is no rolling, no dipping, and t almost no change of levels? 5 The Chinese cannot forgive the - West for establishing old folks' homes I where the indigent aged can be - placed?• ' . i 6. To have the licence number of ! one's car as low as possible is a social > advantage in the States? 7. The road from Laredo to Mexico i City is a link in the greatest highway • projected in the world, the PanAmerican, which, if ever completed, ■ will stretch some 12,000 miles from I Alaska to Argentina? 8. A monument to a hen at Little Compton, Rhode Island, commemo- . rates the origin of the Rhode Island Red breed of chicken? _ 9 There is a beauty shop m South- : eastern Alaska that has been serving i native women for the last ten years? ! 10. The attributes of a great lady, may still be found in" the rule of four S's: Sincerity, simplicity, sympathy, serenity? • * * LIGHTS OUT, I have come to the border of ■ sleeps ; The unfathomable deep Forest where all must lose Their way, however straight, Or winding, soon or late; •They cannot choose. Many a road and track That, since the dawn's first crack, Up to the forest brink, Deceived the travellers, Suddenly now blurs t And in they sink. Here love ends, Despair, ambition ends, All pleasure and all trouble, Although most sweet and bitter, Here ends in sleep that is sweeter Than tasks most noble. The tall forest towers. Its cloudy foliage lowers Ahead, shelf by shelf; In silence I hear and obey That I may lose my way And myself. —Edward Thomas. . • * * MARVELLOUS MATTHEWS! Dear Mr. Flage,—Owing perhaps to my dabblings in middle and long-dis-tance events—heard that one about my 4min mile?—l have followed these events in the Empire Games with rather more than average interest. . But tonight's six-mile run . . . ! Matthews kept a good pace until,the eighth lap, only faintly amused by, his confrert/efforts to take the lead. Then after hearing himself given as representing England, Scotland, and Canada at different moments and New Zealand in his spare time, Matthews became rather nettled. In retaliation he ran the next eleven laps in a few seconds, having the satisfaction of hearing the commentator announce, almost immediately that Matthews now had only Six laps to go! It had gone for enough when the announcer mentioned the last mile so Matthews ran back through four laps'to take up the lead again at the Sixteenth lap! Rather disconcerting to Ward and Rankin, I imagine; It was only natural that such highly-com-plicated manoeuvres would be, crowned with success! I'll never run races per. radio againl KIWIMOA . , February 10.