POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIV, Issue 70, 20 September 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

It is the truth that half the world doosn't know how tiio other half gets atvoy with it. » • • Comforting thought for golf tyros: You don't need to be a Walter Hagen to "sink 'em" well and truly at the nineteenth hole. * • » Here's "Chanticleer": If K. seriously wants'a name for that Night Raid — Flicker youngster, I suggest either Star Shell, Verey Light, or Flare. ■» » « Opposition Leader: "The greatest achievement of the Government is its broken promises." Buf hasn't Mr. Savage guaranteed to mend them with his own brand of political seccotine? » * * "Boot Soul."—lf the price of beef goes on increasing we may soon exspect the cost of shoe leather to go up. We again aver that our butcher buys his beef from our bootmaker. » * « FOR JAY-WALKERS. The anti-jay-walking campaign prompted the following story of the bishop who was showing a country friend through Westminster Abbey. Tha visitor was duly impressed, and re-, marked: "But is there no monument to Wren?" The bishop replied: "If you seek a monument, look around you." Shortly after they were about to cross Piccadilly Circus when the bishop whispered: "If you don't seek a monu» ment", look around you." BINDY. • • • POSTERS AND TREES. Dear Mr. Flage,—We are thrilled to think of the pretty line we shall have when it is all planted with bushes and trees. What about the railway folk doing their bit, say, putting landscape scenes on the walls of the tunnels and lighting up the tunnels so we shall be "verdure clad" all the way. But maybe it would be more in their line if they affixed some of the lovely masterpieces that | adorn our highways at present, and that would be revenue as well as adornment. Let the slogan ba "Posters and Trees." KEENUNBOTH. Khandallah. LIMERICKS. "Janne" writes:—Here's my stock limerick: It can be applied with an equal amount of success toi any first line —to a lady from Spain, a Professor of Yale, or even (from a good safe distance) to an All Black of repute— A she-skier who climbed up Mount Cook, Hand-painted china quite lovely. When her friends asked, "Ain't it expensive?" She replied, "Yes, it is, But I get lots of fun doing it, anyhow." Here's one of those old-timers which wears well: — A young man named Cholmondley Colquhoun Once kept as a pet a babolquhoun; His mother said, "Cholmondley, Do you think it quite colmondley To feed your babolquhoun with a spolquhoun?" * * * THAT "NATIONAL ANTHEM." In reply to G. A. Hempton: Some de- ■ tails appeared in Col. 8 less than a fortnight ago. Dennis's "Austra—laise" was marked off "not for competition," but was awarded a special prize, as it well deserved. There was a dead-heat for the honours, the two-guinea award being decided between "Gum Leaves" (or something like that) and J.. Alex. Allan. ' Allan happens to be one of our many cousins. His poem had breadth of conception, vigour, and colour, though it reeked of Kipling. (So did our earlier rhymes, by the way.) We were stern rivals in. our 'teens in Melbourne, he and I," and one of the thrills of our literary life was to beat young Allan for a guinea offered by the "Outpost" (we think it was the "Outpost"—a "Bulletin" challenger, which did not last long) for a poem not to exceed fifty lines. Today our cousin is a complacently rotund civil servant in Victoria's Agricultural Department, and we, alack! are what we are, with our future all behind us. • • • THE MOST UNKINDEST CUT OF ALL. Had it not been for that old man D* pression, Who stunned the world 'way back m thirty-one, The Labour seers would not be in possession. Of all the things that should provide their fun! Why so abusive or this dear old fellow, Who gave them place, and power, and made their name? And why should they his sins so loudly bellow, When through those sins he brought them endless fame? It seems unkind that they should treat so badly This dear old friend who proved so staunch and true, But just because they take their pleasures sadly, Their fancy plans have all gone UMPTY-DOO! CROW BAR » * • ■ TENNANT CREEK. In reply to "Cornstalk": Tennant Creek is north of Alice Springs (Central Australia) on the road to Darwin. It grew on good gold unearthed in 1933, and today there is a population of about 800 who still live in bough and sacking huts, tents, and tin shanties. Here are examples of the luck of the game at the Creek. The most famous mine, the Eldorado, was pegged out in the first flush of excitement by a man who sold out for £80. Today the mine is capitalised to the extent of £150,000. The Mt. Samuel mine was given away by the man who discovered it. Since then it has produced £30,000 worth of gold; one crushing of 50 tons yielded 4500z. Then there is the story of a blind cattleman ■named Weaber, who was travelling home to Queensland from the Kimberleys when he heard of the new finds at Tennant Creek. He talked the matter over with the right-hand man in his plant—a former prospector who was blind in one eye. The pair decided to head for the gpldfields. They camped at a spot which had been used for years as a meal stop by miner* travelling backwards and forward* from Hatcher's Creek to the Tennant Creek telegraph station. At this very spot (writes Colin BednalD* scarred and trampled by the camps of experienced miners, the blind cattleman and his half-blind mate opened a shaft which has since yielded £28,000. Another man and his wife, who had striven desperately for months to strike colour, and had lost every penny they possessed, were forced ta shelter in a cave from a tropical deluge. Water percolated on to the cave floor and carried away the dust of years, disclosing to the eyes of the disconsolate pair an ironstone floor sparkling with free gold.