THE MAN AND THE GIRAFFE

Evening Post, Volume CXXIV, Issue 69, 18 September 1937, Page 27

THE MAN AND THE GIRAFFE

Prizes were offered by the "Manchester Guardian" for eight lines of . verse beginning "He : thought the 1 giraffe was a beautiful beast" and end- : ing "But he never went back to the zoo." ' ~,.-. The implied tragedy in the final ; line set most competitors off in the manner of, Belloc's Cautionary Tales, or "Albert and the Bear," commented the judge. There were only six lines available for sketching the genesis and culmination of the. tragedy, which made it necessary-to concentrate on simplicity, and the most common disaster was for the hero to have his hat or some part of his body eaten, or for him to receive a severe kick (usually as a result of inquisitiveness). These are two examples of this manner:, Ho thought the Klraflfo was a beautiful beast. And his strict vegetarian homage iucreased On learning that grass was its favourite feast. With carrots and onions, too: When the steeple on stilts with Its tongue, which was long. Did his buttonhole flower alimentary wrong. Ho had enough humour to laugh with the throng, But he neror went back to the Zoo. It would have been more convincing if the first line had been "He thought; the giraffe was a kind-hearted beast." The grossest lack of consideration or the most voracious appetite should not have been sufficient to damage a sincere aesthetic appreciation of the giraffe's figure. . Those who definitely followed the "Albert and the Bear" school of thought, and made the herp's return to the Zoo a matter of physical impossibility, suggested a variety of explanations. .

Ho thought tlio giraffe a beautiful beast, Possessing a neck elongated. The more he beheld him his wonder Increased; | Affection his gaze, animated. But those who stood near saw bis head disappear, la the stratosphere passing from view. J Imitation might show his approval sincere, ' But ha never went back to the Zoo. And a competitor from Cheshire supplied a logical explanation of the whole business, which is only unfair if one considers, as very, many people quite rightly do, that the giraffe is, in fact, a beautiful beast—odd it may be, but unless one has no head for heights it is also elegant: He thought the giraffe a beautiful beast, The vulture a bird of delight. The turtle, he thought, was a. hat tor a priest, And that cats wore pyjamas at night. Tha camel, he swore, carried screws In Its hump. And the spouse of a "chimp" was a chump. A keeper appeared—he went somewhere —he knew— But he never went back to the Zoo. - The prizes went to competitors who managed to find original methods of connecting the first and the last lines, and to express them pithily. The winner of the second prize has two rhymes which a purist would object to, but purists do not judge competitions. The first prize went, to . He thought the giraffe a beautiful beast, Till he found politicians as lengthy at least, And his awe of the' roaring of lions has ceased Since he heard a Back-bencher cry "Boo"; He knows that the chimps are less funny than men Since ho heard tho Impassioned debate on the yen. And he's often dropped Into tho Commons since then But ho never went back to,the Zoo. The second prize went to He thought the giraffe it beautiful beast, Till he turned his attention to llama; Then he thought he preferred a South ATrlcan bird, And an ostrich awhile was his charmer; Had a narrow escape from an anthropoid ape; Spent a minute or two with a gnu; Then lie came home with mo—that adventurous flea— But he never went back to the Zoo.