POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIV, Issue 61, 9 September 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

6Y PERCY FLAGS

Then there was,the nudist who wa3 sent packing because she was so wrapped up in herself. , '■*••' The weakness we see in the octopus clamp is that;.apparently, it takes two wrestlers to make it effective according to schedule. » • * ■ The latest'particulars regarding that iircus tragedy over the Tasman confirm the theory that elephants never forget. ;' ' i- : * » "Cynicus'i asks: "What does tha • N.Z.B.U. propose to do about that Dunedin editorial?" Probably cancel its subscription to the paper concerned. • * * ■ ' News heading:— SHANGHAI FIGHTS, And next, why not 'bow and arrow battles? ■ < ■ .; • ■ * •• • . BOOTLEGGING Dear Percy Flage,—Could you print this true story. This is another yarn of the cunning of some t Mnoris. Long before hiking was fashionable a relation of mine walked to Rotorua from Wellington, and he jwas only seventeen then. The roads were very rough, hardly formed at all. .' He camped at Rotorua, and when packing to return found only one of his''new boots. A Maori watched him and said: "One boot no good; give it to me." .He was told to find the other, and would be given a shilling for it! It was not until brown brother saw no hope of getting its mate that he ran off to get the other boot. . .; MILMAY. Northland. *• . * * ■ * ' ( EXTREMELY ODD JOBS.. A Londoner wrote thus to an Enflish' weekly:— Sir,— During a period of unemployment I earned a living for six months canvassing housewives for odd jobs.. These are some of the jobs I got— one old lady' asked me to bath heJ? crnary; an old man asked me to cut his corns, another to rub his back with liniment. . ■ <A newly-wed asked me to help her .finish cooking the dinner—she had the fowl in the oven complete with its head. , . . -- A blind lady paid me to read to her the love letters she had received over fifty years before, and a man told me 'to remove the bolts off the front door so his wife couldn't lock him oufcwhen. he came home late. » a * INFORMATION DEPARTMENT. "Dinosaurus" (Eketahuna). — Tha latest verdict concerning Pithecanthropus is that he was probably- a manape, and not a man at all. This leave* Peking Man, Sinanthropus, as the oldest representative now in the hall pE human ancestors. His bones; tools, and.' camp fires were first found in cavea near Peking in 1928-29. The oldest recognised direct ancestor of modern man is Kanam Man, represented by * jawbone found in Africa. B. Manning.—The Montgolfier brcthers were the first men to mount i« the air; they went up in a fire-balloon; in 1783. Blanchard and, Jeffries crossed the English Channel in a balloon on "Onlooker" (Lower Hutt).— Shanghai is the fifth city of the world (pop, 3 550,000), ranking immediately after London, New York, Tokio, and Berlin. Further particulars later. Butler.-Nothing further to han* concerning the pillow-slip chain letters. • * * MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. (Taking the form of the McClancy'* annual spring epic.) • The Spring 'as come, tra la la, tra xx la Fit as a fiddle or a shootin* star. She 'as leap1 the 'ills like a hereplane, . . - Singin' a loverly soft refrain, An' I wonder forth (or second off third) ■ • . ■ To watch the pranks uv the hearty bird • ' .. . As it waits in the wet grass for the! squirm ■ An' squeal uv the much too nearijr worm. The jonquils 'as lifted their golden 'cads, ■ The slugs creep out from their sticky; , beds, The kaka beaks are MU a bit blunt. But soon they'll be doin' their Springtime stunt, An' the tuis'll call an' descent an ■ sip Their juice with a quiverin' tongue-'n'-lip, . An' fly away to coral their songs In the leafy bowers uv the . 'Rongo* rongs, While the mother yews bleat an' th« lambs say bah, For Spring 'as come, tra la la, tra IS la. Yes, the Spring 'as come, an' though nights is cold They will soon get warmer—or so I'm told; An' what if there is a few Spring showers? No one should mind, leastwise tha flowers, ' " Unless they 'aye a touch uv guitarrh,^ What ain't so good, tra la la, tra la* la. •■■■■. So Spring is 'ere as a matter U7 course, An' I smell roast lamb, not to say mint! sauce. An' Parlermint's sittin', an 'soon the "Post" Will 'aye little uv real news it can boast, An' voices with no broadcastin' nous Will burble at night from the same ole 'Ouse i Thinkin' their Baldwins. But let* take 'cart— The dial is there, an' will do its part If you give it a twist, as I bet lota will When the "mike" begins to splutter an' spill The usual blather; so let us sing Uv S-p-r-i-n-g: SPRING! • » • LYONESSE. Dear Mr. Flage,—There is a poem* of Thomas Hardy's beginning:— "When I set out for Lyounesse * which goes on to recount what hapipened at Lyounesse without telling what it was. Could you please tell me through, your column whether there is such a place as Lyounesse, and what happened there to induce Mr. Hardy to write his poem. Perhaps it has some significance in legend. Or would it be a private affair of the poet's?— Yours faithfully, , I "BAFFLED." Marton. P.S.—The poem is included in Methuen's Anthology of Modern Verse, published some years ago. "That sweet land of Lyonesse"—a tract of land fabled to stretch between the Land's End and the Scilly Isles, now submerged full "forty fathoms under water." Arthur came from this mythical country, ' and in Milton's "Paradise Regained," ii, 359, we read: Faery damsels met in forest wide. By knights of Logres, or of Lyone% ] | Lancelot, or Pelleas or Pellenor*. J