POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIV, Issue 55, 2 September 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

8* PERCY FLAGP

When the incidence of taxation is put right, the chances are that lots of people will have little left. •'■ *. *

"Howitzer."—Joe Louis must have had that Fafr-away* look in his eye at times bn *Tuesday last. •■*.* i • ' .

That latest retort of the Melbournt gas strikers to their employers seems to be the only one that is generating any heat.

"Motor-cars are mastering man," says a London scientist. Yes; and don't unwary pedestrians know it. . ■ v • ■■ •»•■■■■ SO FARR—SO GOOD. The decision in the Farr-Louis fight is like the latter's left ear—it's not right; and it's not fair! BINDY. * * • ACKNOWLEDGMENT. T.E.H. (Kelburn) writes to say that on inquiry made'by him of the Napier ' "Daily Telegraph" that paper coik> firms the. story that it was Bright Cooper who was destroyed by 3 shark. . December 20, 1896, at Napier, Clarkson, mentioned by T.E.H. as the shark's victijn,' was drowned at Napier. It was commonly rumoured (adds our - correspondent) that Clarkson's' body was not recovered, and that a shark got him.

• BOOK CLUBS. (Sent in by 8.J.C.)

Publisher' Jonathan Cape's houseperiodical, "Now and Then," prints "Thank You, Mr. G.," by John Crow: O Book Clubs red and Book • Clubf

blue, Book Clubs false and Book Clubs true, Book Clubs heavy, Book Clubs light, Book Clubs left and (Book Clubi right. . . .

Forced to make the choice themselvej, Our rude forefathers loaded shelves With Tennyson and Walter Scott And Meredith, and God knows what

But we don't have to hum and ha; Nous avons change tout cela. Our books are chosen for us, thanks To Strachey, Laski, and Gollancz.

SECOND TEST.

Dear Flage,—Now the second Test is the topic of the week, how about you and me having a little huddle? I read that "Bullet" Williams scored three more tries on Saturday ■ against South Canterbury (that score put Canterbury a little further sciuth). By the way, I gave Williams that name after he scored that last try against Wellington. Remember ' how he shot inside de Villiers, then shot under the posts. Oh, boy, what a shooterl However, I have figured out how we can quieten him on Saturday. Yeah, Flage. All we have to do is to put a "safety catch" on him, or ardfund him, and I suggest a 10-foot high picket fence. A-w heck —skip it, Flago. Mark Nicholls has. thought of the same thing.

ROSENEATH.

P.S.—There's a hitch. Who's going to catch him to put him in the fence?

INTIMATION.

R.G. (Foxton). —Some delay was inevitable. Your inquiry has to catch up with our numismatist, who is touring the Nprth Island with a commission on State business. However, it should not tie long now before we hear from him. Thanks for note of appreciation . . . and for those cheer-up verses.

"Flagellator."—No; our garden,rake is still absent, worse luck. Also, the miscreant who.stole our raincoat from our office one dark winter evening, is still at large. Life is not a bowl of cherries for anybody, is it?

"Northlander."—Thanks for that magazine. It gave us some entertaining reading.

C. J. Crosley.—The only information we have on the matter is this: The family fortune of the late Mr. Mellon increased within five months by no less than £60,000,000. A sensational rise in the shares of the Aluminium Company of America and the Gulf Oil Corporation ;of Pennsylvania was responsible. !

. MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. Sorry I'm late. When 'urryin' down ; 'Ot-footed through the crowded town. Some bloke who was no gennelmaa Barged right against rhe as I ran, My 'igher feelin's to disturb, An' sent me flyin' orf the kerb.' I ups an' sez to 'im, quite mad: "You're nothink but a cad, You with' the soup stains on your coat. You lack the manners uv a goat. For two pins, you great big galoot*' I'd spectorate upon your boot. I am a lady born-'n'-bred, You greasy, grinnin' mutton-'ead; ' . . You ain't no advert, for your sect, You've been in gaol, too, I suspect. .•."' At which a toothless' smile 'c smiled,. S'ayin', "What O! The ole girl's wild!" I'll say I was. But never mind. You know,.dear, I'm a bit hinclined (I'll take one uv them funny scones) To think .that" Nash's geese are swans In a wolfs raiment, as they, say; •E don't seem 'appy, anyway, '. ■While as for the Prime Minster, 'c Feeds us nice nothinks ' gen'rously, So that we'll worship at hees shrine. And feel that everythink is fine Ah' dandy in this glorious land. But polertics apart, I stand For our All. Blacks, an' if they meet (As sometimes 'appen) with defeat On Saturdee, I'll eat me 'at An' that, dear Mrs. 8., is that, An' there's a third Test, anyW . . , What's bought them furrers to your brow? ' / * • • FOLLOW-UP SALESMANSHIP. Dear Flago,—Britain i« getting more American .every day. Herewith the letter I told you about. Talk .about "follow-up salesmanshrp"-rl .wrote to these people over three years ago, and for 15 months was bombarded every. other mail with replies. It so happened that I changed jobs and no longer required' their course. I suppose I should have advised them, but I like to sec the G.P..0. making a profit! CHANTICLEER. • And now for the cry out of the heart: . ~. ■ Dear Sir,—l am taking the liberty of asking you to do me a favour—for , my own benefit entirely, as you sh»U see." For some reason you have not gone further in the matter of our literarycourses. This letter is not for the purpose of urging you to enrol— though, of course, I should ,be glad to welcome you as a student—but to ask you to tell me why you have not written to me again. . Your reason may be private and I shall, naturally, respect your, confidence. But conceivably you think that neither of the courses quite meets your need. Or perhaps you are doubtful about their value? Whatever, the reason is I want you to tell me frankly and fully. •

I havt: enclosed an addressed e»velope, and I hope ; that you will writ* to me as soon as possible. Your let», ■tor will be returned to you if you wlsl|fc it ■-' '■:■'■-, ':""■ '

Yours faithfully.