POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIV, Issue 50, 27 August 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle arid Comment

BY PERCY FLA<2

Not barring accidents, it is fairly clear that those rubber studs will last • longer than some of their pedestrian users. | „. . • II stipendiary stewards were em- ■ ployed, quite a few of our wrestlers would find themselves on the mat. Or . would they? Mr.' Howard says that none of th« people .of Europe want war. Unfortunately'they have to take what the' Dictators give them. * * * We see no reason why the- farmers should not be guaranteed Is 6d a pound for butterfat even if it means that. , consumers have to fall back on bread and dripping. * # * > - There can be nothing in the suggettion that the Marx Brothers are descended from Karl Marx, because th« latter had positively no sense of humour. * ■■■ * .* " NEWS ODDITIES. Forty persons of Leigh, England, earned five shillings by stepping over a grave in the churchyard; The money was paid under the will of a villager who died in 1626 and asked that residents walk over his grave once a year during Holy Week. Because visitors complained, ,Jutu9, a twenty-year-old python at the Seattle Zoo, was treated, for offensive breath. Supt. Gus Knudson and three keepers - washed out the snake's mouth with an antiseptic. ' With a wave of bad five-yen notes flooding Tokio, *nost merchants advertised they were not accepting bills of that .denomination. One, however, ad- ■ vertised he would. He cleaned up a. small fortune, getting only one fake note. *■• .■ ■ :■•» '■ ■;. * INFORMATION DEPT. . \ In reply to L.B.W. (Aramoho) apro. pos Robins's hat-trick.—Butler, th»Notts fast bowler, twice performed the feat .in the first six weeks of the sea--son. This does not rank as a record. In 1907 Albert Trott in his benefit match against Somerset at Lord's took four wickets with ■ consecutive balls, and later in the innings again did the. hat-trick. For Australia against South Africa at Manchester in 1912, ■T. J. Matthews took three wickets with successive balls in each innings. -This - is a feat without parallel in ■ Test' match cricket. Alfred Shaw (Nottinghamshire) in 1884 and Parker (Gloucestershire) in 1924 performed the hat-trick twice in the samematch.' '* • ' , * INTIMATIONS. M.J.C. (Wellington).—Thanks ■ for your note apropos the shark tragedy at Oamaru. L.H. —Would have "succeeded but for that ad. for a sewing machine which was .imbedded in the rhyme. "Ahm" (Ngaio).—Sorry, but refer-' ence to that institution is forbidden. • ■ Thanks for what you, say- of the column. "Corinna," "Scotty," and C.L.—ln a very tight finish you were beaten v off by a- narrow margin. ■ ■ ■ "Mayfair."—"Why not. something political, or about love or war?" Yes; why not? Watch this space tomorrow. "Beau Pere."—Verges on the indelicate, which means it was disqualified qn sight*l"- ■' '--'''•' *-■■••■ <'■■ -■- ■■■ Peter Mayhew.—Unfortunately we " ' haven't a copy of that extremely "blanky" Australian "national anthem," nor do we recall the author's name. M.D. (Northland).—Yes; but ,that . magazine has nothing whatever to do with this featurfe. i ♦ * • ' LIMERICKS. - • There was an old man of Peru Who said:. "It is startling but tru« That elderly Incas When driven in blinkers ' Develop a new point of view." . ; There was an old man of Peru Who said: "For a shilling or two, With my new rope of hemp I'll Exterminate . . . And .- . . and the rest of the crew," MIKHAEL MYLDE.' There was an old man of Peru Said: "I think I am getting the flu; Then that antediluvian Grey-whiskered Peruvian Went home and mopped up all >iht stew. PLIMMERTON.., ' There was an old man of .Peru Who found a dead rat in his stew. x Said the waiter: "Don't shout , Or wave it about, Or the rest will be wanting one, tool* S.T.G.M. There was an old man of Peru. Whose life was one big boozooroo. He was Britislv at heart, And his nose played its part, ■ For the colours were red, white, and blue. - G.L.C. , Nelson. ' There was an old man of Peru, Every month, when his pension he drew Would fill .up with liquor, Smack his wife, and then kick her. Do you wonder she's feeling quite blue? ' I. MANASS. This, the most individual effort of the week, touches w.f.a. form:— There was an old man of Peru Who delighted in making home brew His camel he fed, on the best'of the dregs, : And when mounting his steed, h« usually said Shall we start our mad career, Oh yet says you. GOOD PALS. "Milmay" (Northland) was a closi second in-this section. ' -» * * ■ FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING? Dear Flage,—ln these days of the "loud-speaker," to be heard at all requires effort of no mean order. Recently Charming Pollock, the well- . known American publicist and writer, loosed the'1 following illuminating in-. vectivo in an endeavour to gain the; ear and attention of his somewhat heedless countrymen:— "... Among increasing numbers, it became desirable to make money ■without effort or principle. Public and' private morality went into a state of: eclipse. . . . Tne politicians,' of course, are always as usual. For nearly four thousand years, politicians have remained the lowest form of animal life. ' ' "... Unfortunately, America is no longer sensible—if indeed it ever was. It has gone over to easy thinking, easy living, easy money, unreasoning prejudice, and meaningless slogans.... Few Democracies have survived more than two hundred years. A Democracy militant may survive—but not a Democi racy more interested in golf than gov» eminent. . . . America can easily slide into Communism, Fascism, or a combinaiion of both. If it doesn't, soon or late- it must face a Fascist world in an armed conflict for which it is mentally, physically, and morally unprepared; in which it won't last as long as tht proverbial dog with tallow legs chaslnf an asbestos cat through hell." Whew! The "dog" days are upon u» again!