POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 117, 19 May 1937, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

Bt Percy Flace. The Glamorganites will agree that Tindill has a taking way with him. * » * Add Similes (from "Wairau," Nelson). —As deaf as a petrified pipi. * • » When you ask what the Government is doing for out citrus industry the answer is a lemon. • I , • ~■■•., Whether Franco or Caballero wins out, owning castles in Spain will continue to be a precarious, business. • « # * Anyhow, these are the days.when sandflies are denied the privilege of making a filling station 61 one's anklei. " * '■" ■*■'■'''■•• If the drug benzedrine comes into general use among publicists, it will not be long before a distracted world will be screaming for an antidote. • ..'*.: ' ■■•- ■; •'. ."'■■■ ' ' .'■ FOR THE B.M.A. This is a story concerning a surgeon who specialised in a very intricate operation. After he had performed one hundred and fifty of these operations, with complete success the head of the hospital suggested that he should give a demonstration before a select audience of medical students when the n,ext case came along. It was agreed. A fortnight later the opportunity presented itself. : An audience of one hundred watched the brilliant surgeon perform-the operation as deftly as ever on the recumbent body of the woman patient. So as an encore he took out her appendix. . • * ' * : '... '•..... POLITICAL BILLIARDS. You noticed Peter Fraser was speaking about Beau Nash's skill at billiards. Now we know why he is able to concentrate so well on the red. And Peter himself has become no mean adept in the art of pocketing (or it it sinking?) the red in the last eighteen . months. Will Joe Savage get a cannon oft the cush at Home, or will he take the cue from Nash?- liet's hope they will be making a'break home again soon. Will they all know how,to put side on when they come back? It is about time Simplicissimus Bob was potting someone again. '; Perhaps a "dam" Hamilton has quietened him. Mine's a life-sized hot-water bottle. Bonnooit.. . ' ■■■.-; >■■.. -. . .-.■; PETER THE WAILER. ■•:•.;••■ •■ _ , , TAX-DODGER. : This story may give our harassed taxpayers an idea. In 1787, or thereabouts, a waterman whose name was Holmes, and who had acquired some property, hit upon a singular expedient to show his disgust against "rulers and the accumulation of taxes." Says the chronicle of the day> which reports the manoeuvre: "He has disposed of a small freehold which he possessed in the vicinity of the Thames and pur- ; chased a West Country barge, 'in which, with his wife and a large family of children, he resides in the most comfortable manner. He thus prides himself on eluding all taxes, and changes his situation as weather and other circumstances make this or that situation more agreeable. He is at present moored off York .Buildings, where the neatness of his floating habitation, the respectable! Appearance of his, wife and ; children', and the facetious character of the man himself, attract no'small number of curious visitors." '".■,■■..■■ ; -; ■.' * '.'■'*: ' ' ''♦ NEWS. FROM HOME. Dear Flage,—l received a letter in Esperanto from a German- correspondent, in which he quoted a magazine article which appeared in some German gazette. Here is the essence of it. :•- , "The Maoris, natives of New Zealand, often throw themselves in front of oncoming automobiles, because of the fact that the cars possess terrifying, fantastic figures affixed to the radiators. These mascots terrify the : natives, because they believe that they are (representations of demons and devils. The Government of New Zealand has now forbidden such mascots to be affixed to motor-cars." Apparently a reverberation of the bylaw forbidding mascots to project a certain distance from ;radiators in the interests of public safety. Anyhow, it must be a comfort to the Nazis to know that the Government of New Zealand is affording protection tb the. Maoris, in the same way that Hitler is caring for the Jews in Deutschland. Here's how! . • ■ S. PERANTO. Brooklyn. • -.-.■ ■ •, • ■ ■■ • . LIMERICK' COMPETITION, Entries to date total' a round two score. . Here are some of the best:— . There was a young lady named Tilly Who had a twin sister called Milly Though both rather naughty, 'Twas Milly was sporty, So\ Tilly got left and went silly. ■ ' ' T.W. There was a young, lady named Tilly Whose ideas were exceptionally silly: 1 Cocktails, she thought, Were feathers and ought To be plucked from' a rooster •where frilly. There was a young lady named Tilly > Whose undies were scanty and frilly: When of wind a strong gust Caused a button to bust She was Godiva all willy or nilly. HENRY. ."; There was a young slavey called Tilly, Who loved : a lad known as "Bald Billy," '. ' i She asked him, "Why bald?" So he said: "I was mauled "By a tiger in Old Piccadilly." ■■'■>'■.. K.T. * * • BIKE MARATHONS. ' . It will be interesting to see how Opperman, one of the greatest distance road-racers the sport has known, fare^ in the six-day grind at Home. These marathons usually start at midnight, and between then, and the following Saturday midnight each cyclist will have covered over 12,000 miles, on only 20 hours' sleep—and most stimulating meals. Two hours before the start the contestants lunch on thick soup, a pound of beefsteak, a lot of vegetables, fruit salad, a nice portion of cheese, bread and butter, of course, a bottle of burgundy, and a cup of black coffee. Six hours later comes a snack (in the cabin) of several lamb chops, green .vegetables,, and fresh fruit salad. Then four, hours' sleep, and breakfast (on the bike) of, say, cornflakes and cream, a bunch of eggs with rashers of bacon (all squashed up in a basin). This is consumed on the track, the rider steering with one foot . and pedalling with the other, thus leaving his hands free. At midday a solid meal in the kitchen—soup, fish, a whole chicken (or half a dozen lamb chops), veges, pudding, a bottle of wine, cheese, and coffee. Another full meal at 6, and at 10 a snatch on the track side of a pound of best minced steak —raw —in a basin of soup. The actual provisions ordered for 15 teams « for the six days include 4cwt of sole, four sheep,.a complete ox, 150 pigeons, 100 chickens, 6cwt of bread, two calves, 1001b of coffee, 2000 oranges, and 800 lemons. ,