LIMERICK.

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 59, 11 March 1937, Page 8

LIMERICK.

So far, entries for the limerick, conn petition number ; 22. The majority are not exciting, generally showing no excess of'imagination. The limerick runs: There once was a girl chimpanzee Who lived in a very high tree. r A python espied her, And snaked up beside her, The best completing lines came frorrt "Whoops!": Singing tra-la-la-la, tra-la« lee. . . ""■''. G.G.G.: "Oh, for a dove's wings," cried she. F.W.: That girl chimp, .vamoosed hurriedly. . "Elderberry": And endeavoured ta park on her knee. -. .;, T. Morris: And a tight squeeze ha gave her, did he. "Jolly Roger":. And said: "'Was you looking for me? , F.G.:. ''It looks, like. a:"squeeze..here," said she. . "..■■' ..'.".'. •' .'.'Gallio": "And .how's tricks;,. Littla Lovely?" said he. . . "O'L": "How dare. you,", she. saidj "make so free!" , . ■ * * * ...■■■ INQUIRY DEPT. "Master Brierly."— (1) Probably Hector Gray. (2) Fred Archer. He rode in 8084 races,' won 2746, and eight times topped the double century in a season. His.record of 246 winners in 1885 has only once been beaten —by Gordon Richards, who ' rode 259 winners in 1933. Archer won. the Derby five times, the St. Leger six times, the Two Thousand Guineas five times, the Oaks.; four times, and the One Thousands Guineas twice. He shot himself, at 29, when delirious with congestion oi the lungs. (3) Have no particulars. C. L. Forgen wishes to-know if the word "bishop" is mentioned in the Bible. .... "Not a Motorist." —Speed limits are in force (we are so informed) in Great Britain, Queensland,. ••Western Australia, Pennsylvania, and Maryland (U.S.A.), and Ontario (Canada). Limits range from 10 to 45-miles an hour. MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. : Me? Oh, I'm fightin' fit once more, 'Puttin' on weight, too . . . that's a bore» I wanter keep me streamlines, dear, For otherwise I would look queer. I see short skirts is comin' in, , Whether your "pins" -are fat'or thin, A shade below the knees...". . ere's . mine— . : '.'.., Got it at 's*, eight-'n'-nine. I. can afford to. wear 'em short, I've got nice rounded calves,, the sort Men look at twice when you go by. With a "come 'ither," rovin' eye. But girls-'n'-dames with sparrer legs, Who've drunk life's glass right to the dregs, . . . . Should 'aye their skirts long for to 'ide Their shapeless shanks. I'm satisfied With what I've got to walk with, though Me waist is still too 'igh-'n'-low. Them single German frau's won't need To chase the lads, by what I read, . If 'Itler's birth-rate drive comes true. They'll'ave to do what me-'n'-you 'Aye done in times past volunt'ry: 'Elp to enlarge ttfe fam'ly tree. ■' Adolf is out to Mormonise The whole darned lot—a henterprise What may suit widders an' their kind Seekin' a 'usband for to find, But those who love to go their war Free an' un'ampered night-'n'-day, Not wishin' to be mothers yet, . Will 'ate the 'arem life, you bet.. It isn't fair, dear, to our sect, . To 'aye their life's hambitions wrecked Like that: I 'ope they all 'aye girls . . . 'Ow do you like my Garbo curls? *—Advertisement. . . . . ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE. Some months ago this column entertained (we hope) its readers with, examples of amusing signs in pidgin English to be seen in the streets of Tokio. T. H. Vole (Brooklyn) sends us several more of these linguistic curiosities; they are the work', of a Japanese publicity agent, and appeared in a magazine, published in Lahore, India: Paper making machine wire making machine cement and brickmaking \ machine and also every other kind of machine like , ■ this, if you want any please. correspond with us.—lron Works Osaka Japan. Ink bottle and soda.,water bottle that is every kind of bottle even falling on the floor does not break it. They are well known of the factory and can be had from big merchant in every city. —Glass Factory Higashiyo Dogawa, Japan. Typewriter- that is best and. serviceable and does not ever go out of order for many years is the manufacture of our Company.. .It is sold all over India sr.d when you need this please by -at once this Company's typewriter. Still, Kipling nearly said: What do they know of who only English know-