POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIII, Issue 18, 22 January 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment By Percy Flags. The important difference betwee?, fast horses and fast women is that tha latter always run true to form. « » » It is quite likely that the typists of the British Dyestuffs Corporation will soon be able to take down the budgerigars' notes parrot-wise. ' * n «• We think that General Franco, for one, must be grateful for the way in which the Non-intervention Commit* tee continues to live up to its name; « » » General Goering says that he has given up eating so much butter that he has lost over a stone. That applies to hundreds of thousands of foodrationed Germans, also. •» » « FINE ART-LESSNESS. t Many of us have probably heard of a psychological condition, in which amongst other evanescent things, may be seen "pink elephants." The experience, however, is reputedly unenviable, therefore undesirable. Havips noticed recently—with the eyes of the flesh, of course—an example of "modern art," depicting "blue horses" with geometric eyes, i.e., diamond-shaped, having four angles, and being a lover of the fine arts, my thoughts were reminiscent, and fittingly expressed, per-' haps, in the words of that blandvisaged Celestial, who says "No sawy," or, again, in the words of another lover of fine art in Wellington— "WHAFFOR." * » * CITIES. First in with the correct answers to those "cities" of ours was "Mrs. Micawber." Here's the list:— The most fearsome: Ferocity. The happiest: Felicity. The most impoverished: Scarcity. The most crooked: Duplicity. The most advanced for its yeax«J Precocity. The wisest: Sagacity. The most artless: Simplicity. The greediest: Rapacity or Voracity. Others who are 100 per cent, right are "Dollar Bill," "O'L.," "Little John," E.M.D., Robbie Muir, "Bettikins," and "Ponty." "Bettikins" sends some alternative endings, for which our thanks. •• * * REJOINDER. *■' Dear Percy,—The following item from a Canadian contemporary may; raise a smile among the despondent. "A well-known doctor in my native town in Canada received six pairs of silk socks from a sales concern with; the following letter:— "'Sir,—We are taking the liberty of sending you six pairs of exceptionally fine hose. Because these hosa have the approval of thousands of discriminating dressers, we know that you will be delighted to wear them. Please send us two dollars.' "The doctor's reply was as follows: — '"Sirs,—l am taking the liberty of sending you two dollars' worth of exceptionally fine pills. These pills have helped thousands, and I am sure you will appreciate my thoughtfulness in sending them. Please accept them ia payment for hose sent me under data of February 3.' " ESPERANTO BERT. * <■ * ABERHART. " Social credit in Alberta appears t<* be well and truly on the rocks, according to latest advices. The Government is faced with an empty Treasury, tha cherubic Mr. Aberhart found Ottawa deaf to his appeal for help, two oC his Ministers have resigned, iaild the party is heading for: disruption. That £5 a week he promised everybody ia as far off as the Millennium. An insurrection, led by one of Aberhart s Ministers, is taking definite shape. It calls for a new radical policy, the chief plank of which is a proposed issue ia Alberta of debt-free money which will be fixed as legal tender throughout the province, and which must be accepted by individuals, merchants, and even banks doing business within tha boundaries of Alberta. Another proposal of the rebels is the formation of a Government wholesale bureau to handle import and export trade. This bureau would buy wheat, paying Alberta money for it, and would sell it outside for national currency for use in buying manufactured goods. A third plank in the insurrectionary platform is loans for farmers free of interest, and monthly dividends of £1 payable in Alberta currency. The Premier will have nothing to do with such _ "nonsense," and declares that he will adhere to the standard of "orthodox financing." Meanwhile he is restless in a tight corner. •» * *

TO THE HEN THAT LAID A ' SHILLING. Oh fowl, I have a mind To sing of one so kind As thou hast been. Who, in this world of tax That evermore doth wax, The like has seen? That happy breakfast-plate. Whence one his breakfast ate, With buttered slice, Not only one egg boreThat egg of several more Contained the price! Who, from a hen, would beg More than a simple egg Each second day? Yet this good hen and true . Awards a "bob," as due To pay her way! Oh that we might believe— We who no wealth receive— That' Fortune's face, Devoid of threatening scowls, Eyes a new breed of fowls, A money-laying Race! A* • •» *' WEATHERWISE —AND OTHERWISE* Dear Mr. Flage,—Welcome back toj the fold; or is it you who should ba welcoming us to the fold, seeing that you are the shepherd of Column 8? I see that you have already started an exercise for the "grey matter." Arei you under the impression that your Postscripters have been resting that material during your absence? Well, allow me to put you right. Speaking from experience, I am sure almost one and all of your disciples becoma budding meteorologists since the holi« days. There have not been radio broadcasts nearly often enough to advise of the many and varied changes in climatic conditions. Before setting out anywhere it has been necessary to exercise the "grey matter very strenuously to gauge the necessity or otherwise of equipping oneself witti umbrella, mackintosh, and goloshes, and the four quarters of the heavens scanned for the signs and "symptoms.' Then, of course, one had to decide whether the umbrella would eventually return right side out or not, or whetheiS it would be safer to leave it at home. Then again one had to search one s vocabulary for fresh epithets to hurl at the clerk of the weather, and, in fact, we have had a strenuous time. Still, in spite of all, even worse, very much worse things have happened in certain l parts of God's Own Country, which shall be nameless—for they pride them, selves 011 the wonders of their climateso let us be thankful for small mercies* • "O'L." '