POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Issue 28, 1 August 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

Bt Perct Flack.

There's nothing to say about th« weather. It is just unspeakable. ♦.« . ♦ We saved threepence this week: had a haircut yesterday. •♦ * \ The trouble in the concert of Europe is due to the fact that someone has got away with the pipes of peace. - ■ • •♦'. • ,' Possibly, in deference to their high standing and dignity, the Government directors of the Bank of New Zealand will receive a nice walking ticket instead of those crude running shoes. brain-teaser; From "Punka"— The following problem was set by A. Bird, one of the participants in' the particular episode:— ".■<-■ Three couples were present at a party. They were Mr. and Mrs. Adams, Mr. and Mrs. Bird, and Mr. and Mrs: Clark. The Christian names of the men were Alf, Ben, and Charlie, and of the women Ann, Bertha, and Clara. The problem is to associate correctly the Christian names with the surnames. No husband was sitting with his own wife. Mrs. Adams was sitting with\ Ben. Charlie's wife, Bertha/was sitting with Alf.' ■ ■■ * * ■ '* ■■ ■'■ :.- -. BIGGER THINGS AT STAKE. Some years ago, during the timt when the final of the Davis Cup. was contested in Auckland between Australasia , (banned' word now) and America, a party of prominent tennis players were spending the holidays exploring Fiordland in the far south. On emerging from the bush after a week in the wilds, and anxious for the big tennis result, they hailed the only possible source of information, a farmer busy" in his 'neeps across the fields. They called out: "Who won the Davis Cup?" and the. reply came back, "I didn't stay till the end, but Brown of Otautau won the 100 yards!" \ .';:. . D.D. ♦ • •;■■ TROUBLE WITH HIS .PANTS. A Postscripter writing under vthe pseudonym of "Keep It Dark"—he is a fellow with some literary taste wants to know the name of the "poet who was so crazily ignorant of life and facts that he asked a friend quite seriously (so it is reported), "How does one keep one's trousers from falling down?" We were forced to consult an. associate of ours, a widely-read cynic, and he explained to this, effect: The poet was George Moore, and-he was also a novelist and an amorist. Actually, says our informant, Moore's question ran, "How do you keep your pants from falling about your knees?" , The reply was, "Oh, I put my braces through the little, tapes that are sewn there for that purpose."; Other stories are told of Moore. Here is one," as related by W. B. Yeats: Moore was boasting to a lady of his conquests among the fair, when a lady; turned to him and said archly, ','Ah, Mr.' Moore, aren't you the man who never kisses but always tells?'.' The truth • (as our informant sees it),.is that Mqore was just a big romancing schoolboy who, in a? literary sense, approached greatness, as witness His. "Hail.and Farewell" and "The : Brook; Kerlth.t •■,_-VT^-'-■ ~p ■ : -■■ - -■*■■." "''--.*. -' :. .*'■ • '•■.-.. i-"' school's in. \ ; '.;; Do you know that— '"';.; .'•' (1) Britain's oldest gardener, Mrs. Sarah Ward, of Radford Semele, Seamington Spa, was 101 last month?- ■ (2) The League of Nations Committee has discovered a new drug, named dihydrondesqxymorphine, whose effects are more deadly than those of heroin? (3) Mrs. Dunn, of Bootle (Eng.), has become a grandmother at the age of 37? She was married at 17 and is the mother of seven daughters and two sons? .' . • (4) The rams cf the Big-horned sheep stand 3Jft at the withers and ordinarily weigh 3501b? . .:.!".: '..'.". (5) The preliminary British . bombardment at Arras, Messines, and Passchendaele cost £52,000,000? ■ ' (6) A hen in Serajevo, Yugoslavia, has'laid an egg which is claimed to be one of .the biggest ever achieved by this species of-bird? It weighed 4J ounces. . (7) A chicken with four legs has been hatched from a clutch of 22 in Tarzien, Malta? One pair of legs is in (the region of the chest and the other pair near the tail. (8) There are schools in Japan teaching Japanese girls how to keep house as brides on 50 yen (about £3) a month? : (9) Prince and Princess Youssipoff are in business as London "parfumiers," selling scents (for blond and brunette types) at £5 to £6 a bottle?; (10) Franz Schubert;wrote 150 songs, two symphonies, six dramatic works, two Masses,; and several other compositions in a single year? ■-.'■:■■ ■''* * , * • DEATH RIDES FROM THE SUNSET. This, we say, is true poetry. The author is Sara Henderson ■■ Hay. The poem first appeared in the. "Atlantic Monthly," whose high literary standard is never relaxed. This is a city walled secure, Foursquare to foe and bitter weather; And three inhabitants there are Dwelling in amity together. At the south gate the gentle heart ; _/ Has taken lodgings of her own;. ■ ■ " A quiet garden,.fixed apart, . ■;■.:•; And for love's entering alone. Upon the north the studious mind Sets up a guild, and finds it good. "■ He welcomes others of his kind, A strict, polemic brotherhood. Eastward the contemplative soul . Has built a shrine, in peace and prayer. Remote and unassailable She meditates unsistered there. But all three keep watch upon The close-barred gateway to the west Knowing that it must swing to one Most certain and impartial guest. * * * AMERICANA. . Giving the Gospels a lift in Wheeling (U.S.A.), as reported by the "Register": The following questions will be discussed next Sunday evening by the pastor of Way Temple:— , What was the result of your interview with the late Fatty ArbucKle in your last spiritualistic seance? Tell us what Arbuckle said when you asked him if he went to Heaven happy. Should girls with big feet be' dentists or hospital nurses? . . ' '; Do the things buried with the dead affect the soul? . What do you think of Mac West as a cultural factor? Will mental concentration on our spirit friends attract them to us? 1' What's wrong with Hoover? and how! '< Should the United States prepare for the next war? What is your honest view of the morals of,the Queen of Sheba? Tell ;Us what you would' do to bring Al Capone to the "mercy seat."