POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXI, Issue 137, 11 June 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle arid Comment By Percy Flack. It takes an obese gentleman with bow legs to stand still and yet cover a lot of ground. » » # A.M.—And Parliamentarians appear to be determined in their Savage desira to Nash-ionalise everything! * * * "Dabster."—Question flung at our' ex» Postmaster-General during the debate the other night—"Who sent the 'OSCULATOR' to Auckland?" That was a smack on the "kisser" (excuse the crudity) for somebody. ** * * Says the "O'Kelly Gang."—With • radio in every home, which is Government's aim, the natural corollary will be the appointment -of a factory inspector for every home to see that everyone listens in instead of daring to read a newspaper. * # # CANDOUR IN BUSINESS. "Steve," who, by the way, managed to get the knight over the moat- dryshod, reports as follows:—I was walking in a little Village not 100 miles from the city, yesterday and I saw a small building labelled "General Store." A board outside stated what goods were inside and on it was this sub-title: "Why go elsewhere and be robbed? Gome here!" • * * *• ETHIOPIA DEFAULTS. . There is one man (not an Italian) in Europe who no doubt thinks 'that Haile Selassie has got his deserts. He is a Yugoslavian painter named Botsarich, who was loudly protesting when the last mail left that he has not been paid for the design he prepared for Ethiopia's coat-of-arms. It was ordered in 1904, and when it had been approved and adopted, Botsarich' claimed more than the £400 promised hiift. Negotiations followed, continued over a considerable period, and died away with the artist receiving a penny. /It is too late now to have the matter reopened. Ethiopia has now no pioni need of a coat-of-arms than we hay# of a coat-of-mail.

BRAIN-TEASER, So many more solutions of the knight and the raised drawbridge problem have been received that it would encroach overmuch of pur space to publish the list. Eighty-five per- cent, of the answers were correct. Failing that, we publish '•Cameraman's" persiflageous explanation of how Sir Gallant overcame the difficulty. Read on: , ■ So the valiant knight got locked out, eh? Serve him right for coming home late. Your teaser gave me fully twenty minutes of hard thinking ere -1 hit on the solution—at least I suppose it's the correct answer, but there's a snag (see below). So far as I can see, the only thing our brave Crusader; could do (short of going to the nearest slot telephone and calling up the missus) would be to place one board across one corner of the moat andrun the second board from board No. 1 to castle side of the moat, thus (pardon my draughtsmanship). ("Thus," we explain, is. a diagram that strongly resembles a sign-post.) But the snag! Dammit, fellah, consider the muscular strength necessary to perform that little feat. Could you do it? Could McCready .do it? I; ask you! If you thinks you could do it, go to the nearest timber yard, get a 19ift long by say 9in X llin, and try it!

Yours till the knights come home.

MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. Me Gatty blurb went over-big. Down in the Lane. That bloke's? M prig. ■ r ■ (What is a prig, dear? You dont say!) . .< Well, 'e is two prigs, anyway, • An' that is praisin' 'im. An' now, No moire uv 'im. I've made a vow 'Enceforth to keep me tongue in check; I spill too much, dear, through, me neck, An' what I gotter keep in mind When crittercisin* uv me kind You've more to loose an' less to wiai Rollin' your pastry out too thin; • Or words to that effec'. I know, - Uv what I've read that Michael Joe, Who talks so motherly-'n'-slow, Don't run to len'th. But get me right! I mean in words, dear . . . not v ia 'eight. Now that is orf me mind I'm free For to resoom me commentry „ On world affairs. 'Itler, so far Aj larst week goes ain't worth a pat. Ole pudden-face! Upon hees di'l I've never even glimpsed a smile. Then there's our weather; ain't it beert Jest loverly, the best I seen For years in June. An' do you know. There is a bloke nex' door—that's so--What's makin' up to me. The cadt. I don't • mean anythink what's bad; ; E' gives me presents on the sly When Bill don't 'appen to be by: A pairer bed-socks an' a mop, A tooth brush with "M.M." on top. An' 'e 'as wrote a pome to me. . . • 'Ere's to two bright girls ... . yott» 'n'-me.

POSTED . . . MISSING."Sunisa." —We ran something along the duchess's knee story a year or two ago. "Boil It Down" is somewhat "offal." / : - "M. T. Face."—Your jingle isn t, s<* mt. Held for further consideration. ... "Jaw."—Thanks, but that., one ,if rather ancient. . — ■ j W.M.S. (Masterton). —We plea®, guilty: that one was a "spoof."./ "Cod."—"Sad Truth" (a drama from real life) not suited to this carefree column. , i "Epee."—That brain-teaser wouldprobably put. half our Postscripteri (and ourselves) in hospital. E.C.S.—Hope to find room for it pret sently. _ - "Unsatisfied" (Northland).—lt was the portrait of his own son. * "Reader."—There was a sinister purpose behind publication of-that contribution. However, we may test Post» scripters on the point you raise. - "Boil It Up."—Your "minny" poem is more short than sweet. "Lady Godiver."—"Why haven't we seen any of 's lively jingles of - late?" Probably because we haven't seen them either. "Savagery."—We shouldn't allow you to say such things about our dustman, let alone the Prime Minister. "Wrongatai." Modesty forbids thereproduction of your laudatory rhyme. - F.S.G.—Our desk is groaning. uncle? a load of such things. There is no immediate urgency about the par. - - "Mastertonian." —Publication of that provocative opinion would start a don» nybrook, and we like our donnybrooks best when clubs are a-swing. - : "Big Boy" (Feilding).—Thanks, but that one was known to Methuselah. L.M. ("God's Own Country").—One stanza of youi l "tribute":— We are greatly blessed in these islands, With our lot there is none to compare; And I who belong to the Highlands Find our mountains more noble and fair.

Emmett Walpole (at Taupo).—That matter was mailed you last week. Thanks for clippings.