POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXI, Issue 115, 16 May 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Percy Flage!

The putting of Ferrier, the Australian golfer, is first-class, but obviously his driving could be improved. V / ~ In the next war, the only vessels which will be ■, able to defy the supersubmarines will be the ships of tin desert. ' . • '■■■" V•.':■-■ '•" -'■ ' ■'. ■ ■If there is no catch in the figures Mr. Semple. has provided gloom with | a pair of Mercury running shoes: the sort with wings on.. ■■ : - ■• • * ♦' • ' - It' can be taken for granted that Miss Jasmine Blight, one .of the 8.8.C.'s television announcers, is not hard to look upon, in spite of her name. ■ . ..:.-.-.'-■.■. ■■ - libellous. . :':: Correspondent in a London daily: "I detest Bach: Beethoven leaves me utterly:-cold:" I would go-far to escape the "Messiah": Mozart ana Schu-' bert only bore me, and I have no use for Wagner in any form. . . . Now why is this?, , -\ • - We know why, but no reputable journal would.publish our answer. • • ■-'■'».' LESE MAJESTE;, :.-,.. Dear Flage—Good Heavens! What are: our advertisers thinking about. la : the attached advertisement from last night's "Post" Auckland is called a town. That mighty metropolis a townl The, Queen City a town! Auckland, where the streets . are much ■ cleaner, the trees are-much greener, where the girls are much leaner—but I've run out of rhymes. However, seriously Percy, you ought to take lip the cudgels and smite the advertiser, who so insults Kipling's "last, loneliest,, loveliest" or else someone will be calling" Welling* ton a mere hamlet! .. , . ■ OLD AUCKLANDIAN. ■ * * ■■••".■•■'.•■ palindromes: ■ /- It is some years since we introduced ' the palindrome to readers of Column ,8. Now "Scrutator" happens along to remind us that ' there are "such., things as words and • sentences which read backward as forward. Here are some examples:— ; V /■■ ■'■ ■ - Rise, to vote, sir. ". ",." - ' ■ ■' . ■.'. Able was I ere,l saw Elba (an .old one,-this). : . :- ~...' ■ '' .V; . Repaper. . ■ ■. ■ , : . ■Dog as a devil lived as a god. -, How many of your readers " (ask 3 "Scrutator") can supply examples of Maori palindromes? Wishing you good luck. . -~.■'.. '■'■'.':. * ♦ «.... ■ . ' SCHOOL'S IN. : ; ■- Do you know that— ~'■'. '- •" ~i \ 1. Priceless instruments, Weighing twenty tons, are on their way to Japan •' in connection with the eclipse of the sun due on June 19 next? - V 2. Ali Shefky Agha, aged .137; -a forester in Turkish Kurdistan, is hailed by the Turks'as the world's oldest : man? -'. V . ■ V '_ 'I,'-'.: ; . ' 3. The platypus in : the Sydney': Zoo . lives on six hundred, -worms, ~, four dozen tadpoles, and a hard-boiied 'egg fed to him daily?: ■-. ■■' . ..-.•;.- ---.4. The "fourth-birthday" of an'Anzac warrior was celebrated :in?- the U. front line at Sinai Peninsula in 1916?- He was born.-on--February,-29, 189|;. . s . ;'5. Few people reaiise'that frbmilOO' to 150 different machines';"are.' used _to . make a pair .of shoes? .. ';Y■.''"*."' ■ 6. The destructive greenfly, repro- . duces itself within twenty-four, hours of its birth, and the mosquito ,. lays' a raft of twenty, to thirty eggs'twice a year? - : - - - ' ■ :".; ;'■■■-'■■; , . 7. Morris Gerstenberg, of Berlin, caa jump into the air and turn two somersaults without'touching the ground?." ■■■ 8. On a gravestone in a Bedfordshire churchyard erected: by a, Husband .to his wife is. the inscription: '.'Peace, Perfect Peace, Until :We Meet Again"?.. .. ;\'_' ;';"■. Q. In the old days British "taverns advertised to make one drunk for a penny and dead drunk for- tuppence, with the straw thrown in on which to sleep it off? ■•■::'■ -■" ' - -■'■' "-■'■■ 10. Mount Wilson (Calif.) astrono-1 mers recently discovered a star that' was.exploding at the rate of 4000 miles a second and was about as brilliant as 20,000,000 suns? ■-~-■••■- •;■;■: - -■■ ' ■•■:;■ ■■.■•■■ -. .-..- ■%■-.■ ,; «-. .. -~■-;■_ A LEAF FROM A FLY-BOOK. - "What about a New' Zealand-written poem for a change?" asks - "Ronnie" (Karbri). Very well, then. - , The king's road is a troublous site* mons-calling day. and day;- V But my feet take the: cocksfoot track < —the easy, vagrant way:... ..... Beside the restless acres and the gold : of noisy- gorse, ,'■'.: Y'l, ...■„■ ~. The ripple lures its, lover down the v : dazzle of its, course:. YY-- V.■ _■■' Its speech is of the' willow-reaches "'.' rich with lurking joy; "•-■-. ■The revel of the rapids where gay clif6 is death's decoy: '• ■- V .-'. My heart is with the laughing lips; I follow.up and down; -: '..;; But follow not the king's white road toward the haste of town. Afoot, the wash of waders, and aloft, the haze-veiled blue— • V The heart it needeth nothing so.the • cast fair ;clean, and true. < ' Q carol of the running reel, O''fish of .. ; mottled black!.' ' '/ ';" ■:: / Arid, who will take .the king's'white road, and who the cocksfoot track? The hour-glass fills with, weather lika a wine of slow content: I .throw the world behind me like a cartridge that is. spent. _;,-. ..,"" Then home by summer starlight bear ■-- my grass-cool mottled.load; -.., . 1 quit the pleasant cocksfoot track: ./■■ T take the king's white road. , :■■ .- SEAFQRTH MACKENZIE.. :" ■'•,'• ".-■ ;•■'.•'■:# 'if' '■■. /: '" THERE'S A CATCH BEKE.. '■:- (Lifted from "Distribution of Ele» tricity" for us by. "Cold Storage.") A friend of mine was telling ma of a young fellow who asked his=parson to officiate at his wedding.; . "Yes,", said the parson, "when would you like the ceremony to take place?" "We want to get married as soon aa. possible," said the young man.' "Well, the banns will have to be published on three successive Sundays, of course, but we can make it one day immediately after that. Let's see" (opening his diary), "shall we saythe 28th?" ■-• ■ ;. --■ :-..-. "Yes, that would suit. What time will be convenient. We'd like to have it as early as possible." V ; "Well, let's see what else I have on the programme.that day. Yes .'Y~: I don't think I can make it earlier than 2 o'clock. I -have a funeral at twelve, and I must give myself time to get back. Will 2 o'clock suit?" i "Yes, thanks very much," said the young man. ... :•: - V ' "Very good, we'll make.it 2 o'clock, on the 28th," said the parson as. he made a note of the item in his diary. Are you wide awake enough to have spotted what is wrong.-with this little story? If.not, read it again and see if you can discover an obvious misstatement which you* ought to have noticed before. Then try it- on your friends. ..- ......