POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXI, Issue 36, 12 February 1936, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY FLAGS The destruction of that town hall by fire indicates that there is a burning zeal in Italy for no war also. * * * If our invalids and anti-starch consumers cannot afford fancy bread, what's wrong with fruit cake? * « # China seems never to be out of trouble. Well, didn't she invent gunpowder, printing, and civilisation? It is beginning to look as though the old watch on the Rhine will have to be resurrected and wound up to go again. * * • ' TRAFFIC SIGNALS. If you should go when lights are red You'll go to gaol (if you're not dead). It you don't go when green ] shines deal You'll get a nasty bump in rear. .. "GAMBOGE." Eyes to see that will not look, Feet to use that will go crook— Cars that start but will not stopSo some poor devil comes a flop. WAIPERO. * * * CHRISTIAN BROTHERHOOD! From "The Churchman," a tolerant English weekly. Though death and disaster come to all manner of persons in whatever walk of life, yet we cannot help remembering that the Queen (of the Belgians), who was Protestant before her marriage, changed her faith to that of Rome, as did Queen Ena of Spain, to please the powers-that-be. Whether there is any significance in that fact it is not for us to speak rashly, but we have for some time past observed what a large number of Papists who have received the special blessing of the Church of Rome have almost immediately met with disaster. * # * . BELIEVE IT OR NOT. We don't know how true this story is—it was cabled abroad from Addis Ababa last month—but it tickled our fancy. It begins with a bang—like this: "Haile Selassie's biggest ambition is to wear a blue serge suit, shave off his whiskers—and learn wrestling." But these kingly ambitions can never be realised unless Selassie gets the sack. He must stick to his .whiskers (or his whiskers to him)—every last apostolic curly inch of them—and his costume must be restricted to two square yards of lion skin and five pounds of assorted decorations so long as he stays in the king business. Considerably before the Duce' set out to civilise Abyssinia, Selassie took a walk out in one of his five snappy d.b. serge suits, and one of hw best friends cut him dead .. . just didn't recognise his Highness. After pondering this matter Selassie packed his gay clobber away among the moth-balls and resumed his lion skin. ... It is said that Haile practises at night and in secret the latest wrestling holds and let-go s with a European matman, but you can please yourselves whether to believe that or not. ■ ■ * * "■ SOME LONG-FELT WANTS. 1 Gum on Cook Islands stamps (preferably flavoured with peppermint). 2. Daily issue of liver pills for resident agents. " 3 New Zealand law, and the repeal of 9 o'clock curfew, blue laws, antikissing fines, and general attempts to make Cook Islands folk "good" by Act of Parliament. 4. A Column B—and Percy Flage— for that bold official journal the "C.I. Gazette." ,_■,.„ 5. Definition of the word public (as applied to parks, etc., here, where the public are "verboten"). 6. Kerosene tins a little thicker than paper. 7. Law to compel traders to love each other. 8. A "sobering home" for chronic un-soberables. 9. Self-filling kettles and non-rolling sausages. 10. A half-hour limit to native sermons. 11. i Water-proof school for native kids;'or, alternatively, duck-boards on schoolroom floors. • 12. Native cops who don't "crime" their brethren for being awake after 9 p.m. curfew sounds. TUKAPA KOKO. Mangaia, Cook Islands. *, * • CHEERFUL ABSURDITIES. A lady katipo that bore Six kittens by the sad sea-shor*. An armadillo—curious bruteLearning the Nazis' gay salute. A seahorse, all puffed up with pride, Taking a mermaid for a ride. An earwig, curiously so-called, Which was both deaf and slightly bald. A peahen, not yet in its 'teens, Giving her erring boy-friend beam. A seacow and its poddy calf Head-down into a bag of chaff. A temperamental dryad who Was never pleased until wet through. A chap who had a penchant, for Writing concertos by the score. A bevy of pine needles which Complained that they had got th* stitch. A dogfish freshly from the sea Barking like mad up the wrong tret. * * * POSTED . . . MISSING. "Rooster."—You crow too loudly too soon. B.G.—Yes, we are open to consider a serious rhyme now and again for this feature. Yours is below the mark. "Tantivy."—Smart, but not clever. "Exile" (Waipukurau).—Clippings received—thanks. Thanks, too, for note of appreciation. Jenny Wren.—lf at first you dont succeed, try again. • L.A.M.—What's it all about? "Sunisa."—First stanza tells the sad story— ■ . . The income tax like shearing is; It takes place once a year. Not many sheep escape the loss Of fleece, if fit to shear. "Televise."—Authorities Insist that television as a commercial proposition cannot be expected for several years. "Johnnie" (Otaki).—(l) Afraid that isn't possible. (2) Too partisan: give the Government a chance to make good its word. "Meg."—We meant just what we said, and wp n=ed plain English. Why worry about it? L.O.C. (Palmerston North).—Yes—in moderation. Unable to advise on that matter. L.A.B.—Suggest that that sleeping dog be left undisturbed for the present. It's difficult (as we know) to argue with a certain type of Aucklander. Hope you are quite recovered. "Toby Tosspot."—Lively in spots, but technically n tr'fle anaemic. S.M. and "Posted Missing."—The' omission of that feature on Saturday was due to an oversight. There were some interesting pars, too. "Elementary."—But why that savage attack? As we have shown, the YA's Sabbath symphonic bIMS «P» serve a most useful oiivnose. "Never Let It Be Said."—Very well, sve shan't.