THE WAR IN LIMERICKS

Evening Post, Volume CXXI, Issue 21, 25 January 1936, Page 26

THE WAR IN LIMERICKS

Recently the "Manchester Guardian" held a competition for a limerick which would rhyme with an Abyssinian proper name, either of place or person. Adowa proved a popular choice. It had three different pronunciations. Both these entries, from Malvern and Cheadle respectively, used the same j one: ! De Bono onco ventured to throw a Few bombs in the town of Adowa; Ras Kassa, Ras ltesta Combined to suggest a .Method more certain, though slower. Groaned a Blaekshirt, bogged near Adowa; "The glass tumbles lower and lower. You can't call me n crank. But I wish that this tank Wa3 built lo the plan used by Noah." However great an attraction one may feel for the true nonsense limerick as written by Lear, in this case it was better to deal with what sense could be found in the situation. There were, however, some good nonsense limericks among the entries. For instance, this from Chorltonville: A gentleman lived In Jijlga Whose whiskers grew bigger and bigger; His head wife in a storm Said: "I'm sure they are warm, But I doupt if they're really de rigucut " An entry from Bingley found little difficulty in extracting nonsense from the war itself: A dusky youiiK chief of Sakota Used to go about wearing a boatit; "When folks ask me why," He explained, "1 reply . That the chances of death are rcmota." The change in the Italian command, produced several excellent limericks besides the first-prize winner. This came from Sheffield: Said the Duce In his own sweet way, "Are our generals winning tho day? If noi-a, the lot-n Receive the Sakota To make room tor others who may," And this from London: Said the Diii-o, "1 find that Jijiga Is still In the hands of Ilia uiggah:. So I'm seiidliiß Hadoglio To clear up the Imbroglio, fur m.v oil bilJ grows blKKiili and biggab 1" But the Italian generals were not the only ones to come in for some pointed comment. This entry (from Manchester) would have been still better if for Dessie had been substituted some

place where Ras Desta had actually been: In Dcssia was stationed Has Dcsta, Whose conscience had started to pester; "Though the afternoon's hot, And some leisure I've got, Is it loyal lo take a siesta?" An entry from Portishead, Somerset, [ and another from Manchester both aimed at Ras Gugsa: An Emperor named Kns Tafarl Tore Ills beard and swore like old Harry; Cried, "1 was a mug, sir, 'Jo allow that Has CJugsa A daughter ot my house to marry." I once asked a man from Jijiga, Why ho sat with his hand ou his trigger; "I ara waiting to plug, sir, That bounder Kas Uugsa, Till you won't know his faco from his figure." And two rather more subtle comments, both from Brooklands, Cheshire: If the Duce were asked his opinion On tht> course of the war Abyssinian, And replied "I will parley At dear old Makale," It would scarcely be guile Mussuliuian. A person who lived at Harrar Remarked In tho Dative bazaar, "Thouiih my skin's black as night. Who would wish to be while. Such as nasty Italians are?" Finally, this from Farnworth had the authentic limerick jingle: An Inquiry set up by Selassie Showed the army extremely declassee, Kor the armament stocks Were three spears and four clocks. Five Mills btjmbs, a bow, and a brassie. As a whole, this competition reached a high standard, and it is unlikely that the chosen two will seem so superior to the rejected two hundred. After this general compliment one word of general criticism may be acceptable: competitors were inclined to spoil good limericks by careless scansion, especially in the first line. The first prize went to: Do Bono, who entered Adowa, And then was deprived of his power. Met Marshal Badoglki. Said: "HHrcs your portfolio, Uiil I'm certain you'll Bud those grapes sour." The second prize went to: Siiii) a Latin In far Oendon, "Tlieso claims of the sword and the pen Seem tho purest of follies, For outsizes in 'brollies' Are the weapons we uccd tor our men."