POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXX, Issue 8, 9 July 1935, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLACB

"I think the New Zealanders are the cream of the earth," said one speaker at the reception to the Maoris in Brisbane. Somebody is reading our thoughts! » # •» If, as the party organiser avers, there will be a big swing-over in the South Island at the General Election, it looks like a hanging matter for the Coalition. * * • Apropos the result of the "posties'" clothes drive—more people have to wear their old togs because there is no certainty as to where or when new ones will be coming. :■. * * • It is reported that, with the exception of three men, the Warwick team consists of the honest plugging type. Well, the Maori forwards, too, can be handy with their fists. » ♦ • THAT FAMILY PROBLEM. "Little Slim," Levin, offers the fot lowing solution of that complicated family problem submitted in this column last Saturday:— Mother A marries son B. Their child is child BA. Mother B marries son A. Their child is child AB. Therefore, AB is an uncle, or half-uncle, to BA, and vice-versa, * ■ • • ACADEMICIANS PLAY SAFE. ' This news note may well be permitted to speak for itself. France's resort to a national lottery in an effort to balance its depressionridden Budget has discreetly scuttled a copybook aphorism. The French Academy, revising the official dictionary, ran across this sentence, used as an example of the meaning of "fall": "The fool buys a lottery ticket, believing the winning ticket must fall to him." After deliberation the academicians deleted the sentence. : » * • ■ INQUIRY DEPARTMENT. "Two-eyed Stance" (Johnsonville) .— "The fastest scoring in first-class cricket?" That's a hard one to answer, but here's an example/that is difficult to outmatch. It happened on May 20, 1911, when Notts met Sussex at Brighton. The hero was Alletson. The explosion did not begin at once. At ■ the end of a"n hour Alletson had scored fifty. Then, his eye in, he opened out-and in the next fifteen minutes doubled his score. Accelerating, he added 89 in the next quarter of an hour. To sum up—he put on his last 139 in half-an-hour. At one time -he scored 115 out of 120 in seven overs! At the end of one over Killick, a fine bowler in those times, turned to the umpire and said: "How many did he get off that over—eighty?" As a matter of fact it was 34. Little was heard of Alletson after that because his county insisted on him being coached and he was "coached out" of his natural style % and that was the end ot him. * * * POSTED . . . MISSING. Elsie M. (Miramar) .—No more epitaphs just now, please. Thank you. "Andy" (Morrinsville).—(l) Verboten, on the ground that people who live in glass,houses—etc. (2) Awaiting developments re, that Byrd film. A.D.L.—Thank you' for qui;\ As for the 5s a week lady, why not give iier the air also? • "Tally Clerk."—Yes, our own work —for what it was worth. "Nancy."—ldea excellent, but the verse goes to a bad tangle toward the end —after the soap. "Macßill."—See your point. For private circulation only, though. "Petty Peter."—Have seen something like that before. "Napoo."—Neat, but might land somebody on the mat. "John ■ Carrymore."—A trifle too much oh the "broad" side. J.W.P. (Palmerston North) .—Shall look up that matter when we can find time. Have you tried the local library? ; "Adaline."—But there are too many lines as it is—many of them not over clever. Elder Smith (Masterton).—You are young enough to know better than that. "Reliefee."—Cheer up. There may be another rise before election time comes round. Geoff. G — Only mildly interesting. M.G.—Have passed on that copy of the "New Era" as requested. THE LOST LEGION. On Saturday a correspondent, "NonParty," wrote to the editor, "May I through your columns be allowed to ask after the New. Zealand Legion?" In the verses that follow, "Hallmark" endeavours to throw some light on the .whereabouts of that noble organisation. Where are the Boys of the Young Brigade, Where are these citizens unafraid— Lost, or stolen, or only strayed? Georgie and' Gordon have found the fizzi . . . Democrat Davey reports good biz., But nobody knows where the Legion ii. By Lyttelton port the gloves are down, Lyons and Savages roar in the town, But it isn't a circus without th° clown. A little bird sings that, for better or wuss, The Legion has sailed, without any fuss, . To fight in the army of Good King Muss. ■» ♦ • QUADRUPLETS: FOUR COMELY SISTERS. News that the Dunedin quads, are doing well, thank you, recalls to mind the Keys sisters, four of them, who, in a sense, rival the Dionne quints. Yesterday the Misses Keys, who came of Scottish-Irish stock, were 20. They live in the little township of Holies, and- like the Dionne olive branches, were, a sensation from birth. They entered the world at one-minute intervals, and the mother, then 34, fed the four herself. As with Dr. Dafoe, who steered the Dionnes into the world successfully, Dr. Prendergast, who performed a like service for the. Keys, was a simple country doctor, and though his name is now forgotten, his task was almost as difficult as the nowfamous Canadian's. When the quads, left their mother, they were given ordinary natural foods without elaborate preparations—fruit juices, care-fully-prepared vegetables, when they had finished their milk diet, and from then on whatever was good for them. For 15 years Dr. Prendergast nursed them through mumps and the usual childhood disorders, though only one of them, in her earlier years, was delicate. At birth, Roberta weighed 41b, Mona, 4Jlb, Mary, 4Jlb, and Leonta, 3Jlb. When they had reached the age of four their father took them, on exhibition. Every September they appeared at a fair. They played" about in their "pen," sang a nursery quartet, and sold postcard pictures of themselves. Today, they display the sam* cheerful natures, have the same tast« in dress, and all play, the saxophone, Their dream is to be variety enter, tainern.