POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIX, Issue 134, 8 June 1935, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLACB

Chronicle and Commtnt

As the Chinese say: A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. * # * Though France's now Government extends from the Radicals to the Right, much will depend on what is L^:. a •» * "Post" heading— KING TOASTS AGA KHAN. He should be browner than ever, now. * # « One of Britain's most daring biggame hunters says that a lion is harmless so long as he is occupied. Per- . sonally, we shouldn't take a chanc* on being the occupant. "The Times" says that Sir Philip Game brings his own qualifications to the post of London's Police Commissioner. No letters from influential friends and Cabinet Ministers? * • • DIVERTING. Flage,—lt is suggested that a cable* gram might be dispatched to Messrs. Forbes and Coates warning them against the machinations of Mr. Elliot who is the Minister not only of Agriculture but of Fisheries as well—a subtle combination which permits of red herrings being diverted and drawn across the long, long trail that goes awinding into the maze of agricultural problems. , WINSH. vi » * . COMPETITION. As the Governor of North Carolina said to the Governor of South Carolina: "It's a long time between drinks" —drinks, for this occasion, meaning competition. Very well, then. Let iis have a bouts rimes tourney. We supply the rhymerends, and you the complete verse. Here are the rhymes to be used, arid in this order:— .......hour, ......face .....flower grace mater .....more ■„• ..later , ■ ......door * . * : '•'■'■ "SPOOF*' GROUP NAMES. We have had quite a nice party with those group names of birds and animals. For a change, here are some ir vented ones— A bellowing of bullfinches. An erudition of editors. A squabble of squaws. A haggle of housewives, A coyness of curates. A pollution of paupers. A skinful of Scotches. A fatuity of fathers. A corpulence of councillors. A vicariousnes of vicars. A rustle of Rotarians. A disputation of directors. A wetness of window-cleaners. A huddle of harpies. . A concatenation of conductor* A snuggle of snails. A pantechnicon of postscripts. An angularity of aunts. «* ' ♦ SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that— (1) Out of a total population at 2,593,392 in Wales and Monmouthshire, only 97,932 speak Welsh alone, and only 811;931 both Welsh and English? (2) Raphael's famous picture, "La Madonna de la Sedia," worth £200,000, was painted on the round top of a cask, and given in payment for a meal? (3) In, Tenerifle there is a specimen of the giant asparagus that is 70ft high, 45ft in circumference, and 6000 years (4) The estimated value of the London Zoo's animals, reptiles, and birds last year was £47,723? (5) A recent survey shows that nearly every one of France's 6ft centenarians likes four meals a day? (6) Last month a Melton Mowbray Brown Leghorn hen began to lay eggs of a brilliant green colour? (7) A slot machine has made its appearance in Berlin streets which, tor a few pence, produces a bunch of fragrant fresh flowers? v (8) Professor Pedro Candioti, of, Santa Fe, recently swam 261 miles in 87 hours 19 minutes in the ■ Parana River, and feels like trying a gentle paddle across the Channel some after* noon? . „ (9) More than 17 per cent, of all marriages in America end in divorce and more than 38 per cent, in some form of separation? (10) The greatest sum ever won at a casino in France was £80,000? The gambler was a wealthy actress. • * * * BALLADE OF SPOT MARKED X. We trust that none will be annoyad. And at our head a turnip fling, Because of this: we dote on Freud— Of dream-interpreters the king,, A sleep-producer plus—and Inge, Who wields a penetrative pen, But though he can like hornets sting, We like a murder now and then. We have conned Plato, and have toyed With Wilde, and gone philandering With Proust—a taste not yet destroyed By all that Mac West-sorfcof-thing, Which gets the bald-heads on a string—» For such we do not care a yen, But friends, beyond all questioning, We like a murder now and then. With pleasure always unalloyed Fondly we to the classics cling. At other times, when unemployed And forging poems on Love and Spring. Compact of high imagining, Sudden, there leap into our ken Grim televisions of Sinf Sing . . . We like a murder now Nd then. ENVOI. Cherie, since sometimes fslons swing (Which happens to the worst of men), And life can be uninteresting, We like a murder now and then. (As who doesn't,) * ♦/■•■'. A LETTER FROM WANG. \ The following amusing letter, quoted by Dr. C. R. Haines in a recent number of 'The Quarterly Review," is passed on by "Dougio": '"Dear Sir,—l am Wang. It is for my personal benefit that I write for ■ position in your honourable Bank. I have a flexible brain that will adapt itself to your business, and in consequence bring good efforts to your goodselves. My education was impressed upon me in the Peking University in which place I graduated Number one. "'I can drive a typewriter with good noise and my English is great. " 'My references are of good and should you hope to see me they will be read by you with great pleasure. '"My last job has left itself from me for the good reason that the large man was dead. It was on account of no fault of mine. So honourable Sir, what about it? If I, can be ,of big use to you I will arrive on some date,that you should guess. Faithfully yours Wang.'" # • ■ , , ■