POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIX, Issue 128, 1 June 1935, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By PERCY FLAGB

Invariably the last words of a tottering Government end on a note of resignation. * «■ # Then there was the man who, a sufferer from hay fever, would never risk talking to a grass widow. • • . • « Europe's big difficulty in forming a " Locarno air pact will arrive when it essays to get Prance and Germany on the same plane. "Ambling Ambrose": The Douglas Credit Movement remains safe and sound—with emphasis on the "sound" —now that the Major has turned down the Alberta proposition. «•. » « ■ • RAKE'S PROGRESS. Irate wife (at Willesden Court):—/ "He came home . after cexet/ratinT When I went to bed I left him at the foot of the stairs. When I came down in the morning he had • reached the third stair." * « • ' AN EMPRESS CO-EDITOR. We are inordinately glad for Mrs. Haile Selassie's sake that the Italo* Abyssinian tension has been relieved, if only temporarily. Vou see—that versatile lady, the Empress Waizeru Menen, \ to give her her full title, is a busy consort, apart altogether from politics. She types all the confidential letters written by the Emperor, and what is more to the point, is his journalistic mainstay—together they edit an Ethiopian newspaper. We know enough about editorial responsibilities to realise how great a strain those Italian monkey-tricks must have imposed on her when, say,> the first edition was running late. ; " ODES OF " 'ORACE." '"Orace" takes time off from pushing iron rations jto hand us these quips:—. She: Swell party tonight. He: Yea. I'd ask you for the next dance but all the cars are taken. Don't expect too much of any code. Think how long it is taking to put over the one that Moses presented. If her eyes could only view us What a difference she would see,But perhaps it is far betterShe is sleeping peacefully. Inserted by her loving family. Ad. fun: "Housekeeper seeks position on Dairy Farm in the Waikato. Will strip if necessary." "Stripping" is the cream of the joke. * * «' ■ SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that— (1) Five pounds' worth of hot coppers were shovelled from a balcony on to the crowd below when the 150-year-old custom of copper-throwing was re-, viyed in Anglesey, Wales, last month? (2) Income tax in the Isle of Man, lately reduced, is now only tenpence in the pound? (3) Vimy's war memorial, which is larger than the Menin Gate, cost £250,000, and weighs 50,000 tons? (4) Two hundred and seventy-six people are still receiving pensions in respect of the Titanic. disaster of 23 years ago? • (5) Policies assuring over £180,000,000 were taken out in life assurance in Britain last year? (6) A crocodile is the only animal whose uppfer jaw opens? (7) "Jot" is a contracted form of iota, the smallest letter of the Greek alphabet? Similarly in Hebrew "yod" is the smallest. (8) Mauve carnations with a powerful scent, developed from one that "came off" out of 5000 experimental seedlings sown last autumn, are on sale in England at two guineas each? (9) Talking of group names—we say , a troop, or pride of lions, a leap of leopards, a shrewdness of apes, a sleuth (or sloth) of bears, and a watch of nightingales? (10) Camel-hair brushes have no connection with camels,, and that Indian ink comes from China? ' '.t * * BALLADE OF THE FLASH FORWARD. Under the gaze of a shouting crowd, Under the cloud-locked winter sky, Behold this paladin, speed endowed, And strong as a horse, break clear and fly With the ball at his toe, while thousands cry His name as one of great renown. But you know, brother (and so do I) He eases up when the scrum goes down. Across half-way the pack has ploughed A tortured furrow, when, spruce and spry, He sweeps from the ruck with, crest unbowed Hot to the front; and Jow or high Should the 'tacklers meet him, he will defy Fiercely their eager arms and brown. But you know, brother (and so do I), He eases up when the scrum goes down. He shines in the loose, to plaudits loud, And "stars" in the line-outs, where strong men tie Each other in knots, and is not cowed, But bullocks his way in search of a try, With an air that says he will do or die Let the jade Fortune smile or frown. But you know, brother (and. so do I), He eases up when the scrum goes down.' ■ . ; ENVOI: Referee—does it not make one sigh To know 'tis the gossip of his hometown And the countryside, that this same guy, He eases up i when the scrum goes down? # * * . BRIWSION I BAWB. Writes A.M.—Eisteddfoditis is in the air, so give them "first aid" with these clippings from the "Llanelly Star." Listen to them:— "'Rwyf wedi fy aschub," meddai dyn wrtb.ym yngwrs ei brofiad, 'ac Wedi maddau i bawb ond hwn-a-hwn"! Sylwodd ni'n gwenu. Parch. D. R. Thomas, Caergybi, sy'n pregethu yng nghyrddau's Wesleyaid a gynfeelir yn Tabernacl trwy'r dydd yfory a nos Lun. Darllenwn am ddyn sy 'nawr yn gwnaud cynnig ar orlwyno berfa rownd i'r bjyd. Ffordd saft i'r cymdogion beidio cael ei benthyg! Yr oedd yr hen wag o lowr wedi cael par o esgidiau gwaith newydd. Pan oedd wrth ei orchwyl daeth y "manager" heibio, ac er mwyn torri siarad gofynnodd i'r hen wag, "Faint oedd yr esgidiau yna, Jim?" "Dim ond dwy; syr," oedd yr ateb parod. We .are greatly indebted to our contributQir for this matter, and shall be . glad to have translations of these paragraphs. The last one in. particular arousq: our cnrinsitjf.