POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Issue 6, 8 January 1935, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle arid Comment

•V PERCY FLAGE

Then there was .the bigambus shoemaker who said he would stick to .Ms last. • * # Reported that fairy tales are being rewritten in Germany with Hitler as Prince Charming..- By the Grimmer Brothers, we presume. » « * / 'They have started a fifth discussion on the Douglas Credit System in Dunodin. Surely this cannot ;be becauss Scots like to get •something for nothing! • . • . » ■ Picnic pranks mentioned in your paper: "Hairdressers' Scratch Race," All itching to go? EVAH. • '.• • MISSED HIS GUESS.' A milo in a minute Thundered the lightning express, And he said, "I'll just do it. ..." Oh, my, ,what a mess! * • • • "TEUCKOLOGISTS.". First came the "realtor," then th« "mortician," later the "beautician," subsequently the "bootician," then th« "pedicure." And not so long ago a, large motor-truck careered down Third Avenue, New York, bearing the imposing legend: "Kelly and McGuirc, Truckologists." • # • ON LEAVE. Wo were on leave from France and decided to go for a train ride. Th« bottle passed round pretty regularly. The train stopped. "Where are we, Blue1?" asked Snow, "Chelt-nem," said Blue. Half an hour later the train stopped again. "Where " are we, Bluo?" "Chelt-nem," said Blue. "Rot," said Snow. "There ain't two Cheltnems." OS we went again, and when, the train stopped once more, and Bluo still declared we were at Chelt-nem, Snow had a look for himself. f'You fool," he said, "That ain't Chelt-nem. It's 'Gen'l'men.'" . Still, ORVILLE B, DUPP. • • • .90 WEDS 24. One of our contemporaries' oversea! thus reports an unusual wedding in Portugal:—Ninety to twenty-four—that was the betting.' Adrosa, North Portugal—that, was the sotting.- Thewomaa was 90, the man 24, and marriage was What they woro clamouring for. ' Authorities ordered inquiry about it, and would not givo sanction for marriage without it. Tho answer is simple, so think ye no harm. The woman possesses a windmill and farm. 'She cannot expect to keep living much longer, and wishes to wed someone younger and stronger. And when tho time conies to leave him her stuff, the State, she-de-clared, had had more than enough. Long years of taxes had gone to the State; and this "brave young man," whom she chose for a mate, should inherit tin rest, she declared. —It's a date! ' # # # . POSTED .... MISSING. "Prohib,"—(l) You take such thing* far too seriously. (2) Probably at th« Public' Library. ' "M. ' T. - Payte."—Rather ■" too "broad" for this domesticated and unsophisticated feature. L.M,—At last advices that gentleman was still nuzzling around London. "Elbow Room." —Rhyme has pointy but scarcely enough of it. "Droughty."—Not for us, thank you. ."Meths."—Neatly ■ done, but; the subject is not very elevating. M. Kormac. —The fellow who tries to rhyme "Kisch" with "kiss" is suspect in our eyes. "Maladroit." —In typo awaiting iti turn. Glad to hear that the column it of "daily interest "to you. "Kashankarry."—Not quite fair to one who is, after all, one of the world* greatest air aces. L.A.B.—But perhaps pussy wag & devoted loyalist and didn't1 mind. "Phoenix."—Too forced. "Percy Cute.'*—That one ■ slipped through when we weren't looking. Stilly no one was hurt. • "Scarlet Pimpernel."—Slow to get going and a weak finisher. ' ■ "Borjoice."—Thanks, but 'we ar« not: feeling particularly Bolsheviky at the moment. • # # i BEACHCOMBING. ~] Whenyou talk of combing beaches, ■) Of Kaiwarra and its reaches, Then I hope that you will let n» barf a say— For I'd like to- tell my story To add unto the glory That hovers round the name of; Evaht Bay. • ) ■ •; For the nimble sum of thruppence (Or, if you live near, tuppence), You caa journey to this liaunt beside : the sea; Though there isn't enough sand on The beach for you to stand on, You'll be glad to hear tho bathing shed* are free. « Two hundred sunburnt wenches Park their clothes on two small benches, But no one minds, it all adds to th«, fun, And indulging in a sun bath, While draped along the footpath, A thousand lads are sprawling in th« sun. All of Christchurch loves its Brighton, Ana tho Aucklanders delight on The beach at Takapuna for their play— But for happiest abandon I'll back the youths that stand on The fence beside the road at Evanf Bay. P.S.—How about using the Oriental Bay band rotunda as a bathing shed! JATJNJB. •# # . # MODERN ART. New York has had an exhibition at extremely (or excessively) modern art, and H. I. Phillips, a wag of a fellow-* lie is a columnist—produced a number of tabloid "critiquos." Here are ■ few of- them.:— Tho driving wheel of a locomotiv* apparently going through an order of buckwheat cakes; above it a black cat, a stepladdcr, a dozen limes, and a. seltzer bottle; at the extreme left a swan, a currycomb, and an old gentleman with an umbrella. ' Title: Lord Corn' wallis. ' A raging sea with a sot of fals^ teeth (uppers) being tossed about be« J tween a mermaid in a winged collar and a giraffe in short pants; a sky of light blue across which a flock of ducks, a nail file, and a. bundle of old newspapers are in full flight. Title: Mother Love in the Tropics. , Two pork chops nestled in a'fur mitten beside a cigarette lighter in. ths foreground; at the left something that looks like a potato masher with pink ears; at the right a tree with aibroTni hat on. Title: South-west of Ansonia. Two pairs of goloshes on the edg« of a precipicp; a canary bird pejkingf at a snowbank at lower left; at ths right a lady with a long neck swinging an Indian club; across the top a 6trip of blue sky with an order of ham and eggs on it. > Title:. Spring Comes .to Astoria, L.I. ' '»