POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVIII, Issue 145, 17 December 1934, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

8V PERCY FLAGE

The Duke made a hit at Trentham on Saturday; so aid Cricket Bat. • • • Slogan for Lloyd George's projected "drive"; Ballot lor billets—not bul- J lets. * # • Tepid ou his arrival, the weather has warmed-up again nicely in its reception to the Duke. • * . * ■ .'•.■■. * An unabridged dictionary of golf terms is about to be published in London. Golfers inclined to be apoplec^ tic should find a copy invaluable ia tho rough. -» « * An English scientific expedition was unable to get any gulf water, in the Gulf Stream. It might have more success in dragging the Red Bea for Communists. • , , •■ » PROTEST. Dear Sir, —I must protest that the present arrangements for the reception ' of tho Duke are slightly . depressing. Tho Government Buildings look like a Maori pa on a wash-day certainly, but those silent plaster tombstones lining Lambton Quay, ghastified by our new mercury vapour lamps at night, make the Quay more like the entrance to a necropolis. I should also like to draw attention to the fact that efforts to polish up the Duke's grandmother seem to have been abandoned, and the big memorial badly needs a new coat of green paint. The white is showing through ,in patches. Yours for service, PKO BONO PUBLIC. » . . •■.■■■■ , • DOUBLE-HANDED TENNIS STAB. Dear Percy,—l notice in a Press message from Australia that it is stated that Stefani is the only first-class tennis player in the world playing normal forehand shots^on either hand. That fact may be—the writer remembers ploying against Arthur Sims, now of Hamilton, some years ago, and this same peculiarity was noticed. Sims served and smashed right-handed, but changed over for bis other shots to bis left hand, but on occasions when tho shot offered he could bo noticed changing back to the right to play a fore* hand instead of a backhand shot. White this player is probably not in international class now, at the time of wEich. I am writing he was-singles champion of Now Zealand, having beaten the oft- ' times champion, Geof. Ollivier, and at the samo period, in partnership with Dr. Lauronson, they were a strong doubles pair. The writer has often wondered how far Arthur Sims would have climbed in the tennis world had he been so inclined, and the necessary financial assistance available for him to hay« devoted the time. AMBIDEXTBOUS. Port Motueka. i * '. • * . ZOO AMENITIES. 1 r I read that a celebrated physical culturisfc has somewhere stated that we cpuld obtain many hints by carefully studying the various movements of the . animals at the Zoo. Being vastly iatriguod by this, a visit to the home of culture at Newtown has produced the following result: ■ . They tell me that by studying The creatures at the Zoo, You may get most important bints, Quito valuablo to you. But watch the lion masticate A raw and bloody meal, Just'see his table manners, And tell mo how you fee!. Hark to the parrots squeaking (They remind me of my wife); They scratch and yell and scream an* swear— Theirs is a model life. Tho monkeys (our forefathers) Aro exceedingly andean; And if I pulled their faces, Folk would wonder where I'd be»fc Now the elephants who thrive on Paper bags and cigarettes, And give tho little children rides, Aro darling little pets, . But jf I devoured their fodder, Or gave my children rides, ~ I. would get bad* indigestion, And other things besides. And if I, like tho ostrich, ate Sharp needles, knives, and glass, And razor blades and matches, soon I'd fertilise tho grass. Tho crocodiles remind me I've not paid my dentist's fee, The pelicans amazo meWith their food capacity. Then I've smelt the playful peccary; Exude his fragrant scent— They gay he ia exemplary; I wonder what they meant! UN HUNG YET. P.S. —This is not a best -worst verU attempt.—U.H.Y. *■..■..»:■ « WIMBLEDON,1 LTD. Wimbledon, Ltd., is wondering wha< is going to happen to its finances i£ thcro should be further secessions oj top-linera from the amateur ranks. Th« truth is that if Perry, Crawford, an 4 Austin should go over to professionalism the goose (or geese) who annually lai4 fat golden eggs for the All-England Lawn Tennis Ground, Ltd.—to giv© i* its full title—would bo no more. Eac^ .year its fortnight of feverish, tennis activity produces a profit of al least £30,000. Good going, that, for « strictly amateur concern. The L.T.A. pays tho hotel and travelling expenses of most of. tho visiting players. A player must be careful that ho Bpends wisely, • if not too well his prize money, which amounts to. £10, and which ho is- expected to spend in specified ways. T» ■ celebrate a victory with champagne paid for by prize money would be the act of a professional. To buy a sewing machine with prize money keeps tho player within the pale. And they have to pay tho relatively heavy entrance fee of 35s for three events, and tho allowance of freo tickets given them grows smaller evevy year. Wimbledon is the only tournament where, competitors are not advised each day wheu they are to play. Such advices would entail costly clerical work, and, of course, postage So players have to look in the newspapers. It would be a cost* ly business for tho L.T.A. if newspapers suddenly lost an interest in Wimbledon tennis and ceased to advertise it free. This year, under a n«w agreement, the L.T.A. accepts the financial responsibility for the upkeep of I the All-England ground, wages, eal*ries, and interest on debenture shares. In return the L.T.A. becomes 50 per cent, shareholder of tho Wimbledon ground —and takes full profit* from tho championships. The company wag .formed with a capital of £10,000 in i ordinary shares. Sir Herbert Wilberforco, barristcr-at-law, has 80 per cent. ,of them. A sum of £125,000 was borrowed in the form of debentures for developing tho famous courts. In a few years .those' debentures' will have been completely redeemed—thanks to champion players who adhered' to the Amateur status. But the writing is o» the wall.